Antigua celebrates Easter like no other city in Guatemala and draws great crowds for its Semana Santa holy week to view its processions across streets richly embellished in flower petal mozaics. Churches also are decorated, often with crosses of flowers. Some of the oldest religious…Read More

Antigua celebrates Easter like no other city in Guatemala and draws great crowds for its Semana Santa holy week to view its processions across streets richly embellished in flower petal mozaics.

Churches also are decorated, often with crosses of flowers. Some of the oldest religious structures date back to the 1500's including a series of stone shelters representing the Stations of the Cross. Beautifully carved and numbered in stone with Roman numerals, these stone shelters were journeyed to on foot by worship minded Spanish priests and monks of centuries past.

My bars, restaurants, or any other business I have here have always had the word moon or luna in them. I don´t know why, perhaps some Mayan influence, like Jim Morrison of the doors who claimed he was possessed by a Navaho Indian spirit. If…Read More

My bars, restaurants, or any other business I have here have always had the word moon or luna in them. I don´t know why, perhaps some Mayan influence, like Jim Morrison of the doors who claimed he was possessed by a Navaho Indian spirit. If you think that starting a bar or restaurant in a first world country is bogged with red tape, try opening one down here where the mode of business is how low your prices can go, or better put how much is the least amount of money you're willing to sell your time. Not only is there considerable amount of red tape, but the fact that most officials don´t even understand it nor is there sufficient documentation to explain what's required, allows for the famous ¨multas¨ whenever the need arises by whatever official. Consider the average person here earns less than $5 a day... In any case, my first business here had nothing to do with a bar, or liquor, or food, it was a relocation service mainly for expats, and the only reason I started it was to help the future Mrs. Moonraytours to set up enough financial stability that she could obtain a US visa in order to cross over into Canada with me one day. (strangely enough it seemed easier to do at the time then get married and fill out all the immigration paperwork, virtually a stack of forms bible thick. The relocation service consisted of renting out luxury houses in Guatemala city, which we found was quite impossible to find furnished and hence was born the service. We basically entered into a lease with the owners with permission to use the house for any employee under our corporation. Of course the tenants we found would claim they were with our leasing company and so no problem. We arranged to buy all the furniture, included maid service, gardeners, security, cable, telephone, cook, etc. and tacked everything onto the price of the rental usually between $2,000 and $8,000 a month. It worked out perfect and our office expanded into a three story commercial building complete with hotel for short-term tenants, bar, and restaurant and of course an Internet coffee bar with exercise room. We hired private planes to fly off to Belize, Mexico, and Costa Rica for short vacations or business.All was beautiful until 2001, when the world economy dropped, and less long term business travelers came to Guatemala. Slowly the quantity of houses leased started to drop and the cash flow started to diminish. Finally, left with just the hotel, bar, restaurant and Internet we tried to make ends meet.The bar, because of its name, Cafe Luna Guatemala, became a place where most people didn´t come for breakfast or lunch. They came because of the name which signified night club and the bar rocked every night from 11:30pm until 6am every day, harder on Friday and Saturday where the guests just kept on going until Sunday afternoon.Of course our exclusive guests soon left from the once peaceful garden and patio hotel to the now wine, woman, and debauchery of a resort which it now was. After a while the main guests in the exclusive hotel with private garden to each room, roman tub bathrooms, private sauna, 12 person Jacuzzi in the main garden and hidden room usually behind the ceiling to floor mirrors inside the rooms was now home to some of the largest cocaine dealers in Guatemala. Of course the bar rocked even more and the women that came, oh the women... we had to remove the restaurant to make the bar bigger. Every night came 200 to 400 persons and the police. Well first of all the bars are not supposed to stay open past one in the morning just like most places, and the legal drinking age is 21. Aside from those problems was the rest... the drugs, the prostitution. Don´t get me wrong, I never sat down and conspired to do any of this nor did I have any part in it, my part was strictly bar sales and I must admit although the bar was supposed to close at 1am, if we did it would have meant sure bankruptcy. Well, the police were more than happy to oblige us and even offered protection and assistance against any armed encounters we might have, remember that Guatemala is still a bit of a banana republic and if I dare say, compares a bit of the wild west where almost everyone who can afford it carries a concealed weapon and not just hand guns, and the saying goes her ¨Aqui son dos leys, la ley de dios y la ley de la maño¨ which means here there are two laws, the law of god and the law of your hands. So anyways while I continue to ramble... the police wanted there propina, started as Q1,000 a week and went right up to Q10,000 a night which was almost too much except we were bringing in around Q30,000 a night (Q or Quetzale is equivalent to 1/7 of a dollar) The only reason it went up so high is because at first it was only one or two patrol cars and then it went up to around fifteen cars, including crowd control wagons every night. Yup, quite the tour I must say. We finally had to close Cafe Luna Guatemala because the nightly propina was more than the actual profit. This wasnt the end though, after Cafe Luna Guatemala closed the Central American adventure continued... see next entry. Close

Antigua is a little town located about 40 minutes away from Guatemala City. Its beautiful cobblestone streets transport you past marvelous shops and restaurants. Its beauty lies in its tranquil feel and the warmth that is transmitted by its people. You will find wonderful architecture…Read More

Antigua is a little town located about 40 minutes away from Guatemala City. Its beautiful cobblestone streets transport you past marvelous shops and restaurants. Its beauty lies in its tranquil feel and the warmth that is transmitted by its people. You will find wonderful architecture to enjoy, along with a rich culture. As in all of Guatemala, you will find great arts and crafts and the traditional candy is a must to taste. Although Antigua maintains its traditional status, in the evening, you can sure enjoy excellent nightlife at the several bars and discotheques in the area. Don't hesitate and make La Antigua one of your stops on your tour through Central America.Close

Antigua is a great locale for eco-tour opportunities. Mario at www.bikeguatemala can set you up with biking, hiking, climbing, kayaking, etc, over and through Antigua's mountainous terrain which is as rugged as it is breathtaking. Email him here: bikeguatemala@bikeguatemala.com Old Town Outfitters is credit card friendly.…Read More

Antigua is a great locale for eco-tour opportunities.

Mario at www.bikeguatemala can set you up with biking, hiking, climbing, kayaking, etc, over and through Antigua's mountainous terrain which is as rugged as it is breathtaking.

Email him here:
bikeguatemala@bikeguatemala.com

Old Town Outfitters is credit card friendly.

My Mission pilot roommate had planned a flight to Panajachel and asked if I cared to tag along. Our flight went near but not over many impressive volcanoes. The air currents evolving off such landforms and especially the heat generated from the active…Read More

My Mission pilot roommate had planned a flight to Panajachel and asked if I cared to tag along. Our flight went near but not over many impressive volcanoes. The air currents evolving off such landforms and especially the heat generated from the active ones made close encounters far too dangerous. Agua, Pacaya, San Pedro, Toliman, and other volcanoes loomed along our path. Red streaks down the sides of Pacaya betrayed ongoing volcanic spills. Antigua's Agua was as dormant as ever. Patchwork fields were being worked far up its reaches.

The most difficult part of the flight was finding a way through the mountains to Panajachel's Lake Atitlan as attempting flight over the higher terrain would be risky. Once inside the ring of mountains, we circled Lake Atitlan before heading home. The landing back in Guatemala City was perfect and saved on film for posterity.

It was December and I was on a Galgos (Greyhound) bus leaving Guatemala City and heading into Guatemala's western mountains. Out of Guatemala City and past Antigua we chugged, turning south onto the coastal shelf and then west and north back up into the mountains.…Read More

It was December and I was on a Galgos (Greyhound) bus leaving Guatemala City and heading into Guatemala's western mountains. Out of Guatemala City and past Antigua we chugged, turning south onto the coastal shelf and then west and north back up into the mountains. The bus, a comfortable one passenger per seat situation, was on its way to the "Frontera" which was the border with Mexico. My plans, however, were to step off at Retaluleu, a sort of coffee capitol of Western Guatemala.

Retaluelu lay on the fringes of what is commonly referred to as as the Boca Coast, in Earth Science terms a major lowland pathway for mountain drainage along the Pacific coastal plains; in layman common sense an uneasy reservoir of voodoo worship, drug smuggling, machete dueling, and roadway ambusade.

After three hours and some odd minutes, the Galgos parked and unloaded at its Retaluleu stop. For most it was only a fifteen minute wait before continuing on to another town up the line. For others, a switch at the border on the frontera meant a still longer tedious journey to Guadelajara; Mexico City; or even Brownsville, Texas.

I hopped off, slung my only bag behind my back and walked the half-dozen blocks to the city square and its small park where trees were painted white up to three feet from ground level just for show. Swinging atop the city's courthouse was a bronze weathervane quetzal, the country's most prominent symbol.

A young Señorita, perhaps eight or nine hailed me on the square and asked me to take a photo of her. Soonafter, a young boy approached me and in a truly innocent, open, and confident manner, he most sincerely wished me the "f" word. Taken aback by my hostile reaction, his eyes searched the park benches near the taxi parada for a shabbily dressed odd-jobber who acknowledged his involvement with reckless laughter.

My contact in Retaluleu was to pick me up at this square and transport me up into the mountains to a coffee plantation. After a couple of hours, he arrived.

There was a complication. He was responsible for paying a crew of coffee workers their end-of-the-season wages. His bank had failed to accommodate the payroll on time. He was now forced to hire a police escort and arrange for the pick-up himself.

But soon enough all the frantic negotiating was over and we began our mountain drive to coffeeland. It was December and the mountain roadsides of Retaluleu were covered not with the sunflowers or golden rod, or pennyroyals or asters of my home state of Wisconsin during its growing season. No! They were overrun with poinsettias! Red everywhere, they grew fifteen or twenty feet tall. In Christmas splendor, they easily matched Wisconsin's December snows.

The plantation was spectacular. Rows and rows of coffee beans were spread out in the tropical sun to dry. Barefooted trabajadores walked along each row by the hour and turned the rows of coffee beans over in order to dry them evenly.

Inside the factory, coffee was soaked and drained to allow for proper acidity before being set out in the sun. Dried coffee was roasted in a huge revolving coffee dryer built in the 1870's and still in full use.

After a short tour of the coffee facilities, we visited a nearby field and checked out the quality of a ginger crop being harvested there. We then checked out a coffee warehouse. There were only a few bags of coffee there as much of it had already been shipped out--December is the very end of the season and it was perhaps the last day of picking the latest ripening beans when I arrived.

Returning to the main buildings, as we got out of the pick-up truck, a group of trabajadores surrounded us. My contact began a sharp dialog with one of the workers, then several at once. They had not been paid for the season and their transportation back to their homes in the highlands would be departing soon.

I noticed that as the discussion began, the workers stood with hands folded in pessimistic anticipation. As the conversation grew louder and more pointed, a dozen sets of hands leaned against my contact's pick-up truck. As things heated up further, the hands began a slight tapping of the sides of the truck. When my contact admitted that he had no money at the plantation at the moment, a more pronounced tapping ensued. The arguing continued and turned into shouting. Some of the workers apparently believed they were about to get shafted and the hands began pounding the pick-up. Their faces were a combination of fear, anger, panic and rage.

All of this was very worrysome to me, yet, my contact was as cool as the morning mountain air. He stared them down, never backing up even when they approached as a group to his face and taunted his truck with belligerant body language. He then assured them they would be paid at noon, or very soon thereafter. Those faces--broadcasting anger like radio waves--lightened up...all of them suddenly smiling and joking as if having received a reprieve from a firing squad. Crisis averted.

The next morning I awoke to the clearest blue sky and a most impressive volcano in the distance--one that had its side blown off several years before. The result had been an eight inch snowfall of volcanic ash on that very coffee plantation. The coffee workers had all been paid and only a skeleton crew remained. As we left the plantation, poinsettias led the way--a brilliant red with a gorgeous blue sky background. Of all of my December travel overseas, it was my most memorable.

A friendly, helpful staff will guide you through your experience in this school. They often have guides waiting at the bus stop to offer free city maps and they will take you directly to the school if you like. The instruction is one on…Read More

A friendly, helpful staff will guide you through your experience in this school. They often have guides waiting at the bus stop to offer free city maps and they will take you directly to the school if you like.

The instruction is one on one, you can switch teachers if you wish. Each individual is evaluated and you begin learning at the level you are already at, which is nice.

There are optional activities during the afternoons, everything from hikes and tours to salsa lessons. You may also befriend the staff and get invited out to lunch or a concert.

If you are on a budget, let them know. The owner of the school is very good at bargaining and will drop quite low if you agree to study for several weeks. There is the option of staying with a host family, which I highly recommend. You can enjoy a private room with a lock on the door, friendly people and homecooked meals that are way better than any restaurant.

You know how I got out of the mess... I borrowed $1500 from a friend here in Guatemala who dosen´t even make that in a year. One of those Chapin characters I told you about who cry about how poor they are but sit on…Read More

You know how I got out of the mess... I borrowed $1500 from a friend here in Guatemala who dosen´t even make that in a year. One of those Chapin characters I told you about who cry about how poor they are but sit on a half-million dollars worth of land and has 5 or 10 thousand dollars saved up in the bank from working for $5 a day for the last 25 years. I call up a friend in Mexico who has an International contract company and I go to work for 6 months in Puerto Rico, putting in a wireless network and optimizing it. I came back with $10,000 and decided to sell my apartment back up in Canada, making a cool $100K profit. I came back to Antigua, where I left my wife and kids, and paid all the debts we owe. We were almost all set to go to El Salvador when we passed this location in Antigua one day that was for rent. I had a bamboo fence, a huge garden in front, and three 20 by 25 foot locals available. Perhaps I´m just stupid, but anyways we decide... RESTAURANT CAFE LUNA ANTIGUA!

This time we will do everything by the book and we will not allow anyone to bring drugs into the place, it will be a class establishment! We go to register the name and find out we can´t register because of outstanding fines with Cafe Luna Guatemala, so we have to hire a lawyer and it takes 4 months to clear everything up and get the name back. We go out and buy all new restaurant equipment, tables and chairs, build a nice oak bar, decorate and put expensive paintings everywhere and open. Nothing... we wait, and still nothing. Six months pass and we spend $20,000 on advertising, and nothing.

We set up home delivery and lowered our prices, changed our menu, try everything, and finally people start coming. Not tourists, just local people from Antigua, Jocotenango, Ciudad Vieja, and Guatemala city. Cafe Luna was back, and we were selling mostly food, not liquor, not beer, not wine, NOT DRUGS, and we were doing OK. The restaurant was not selling thousands a night, but were doing OK. We were opening at 11am and closing at 1am, we are legit and we are law abiding. The police come to see if we are OK, and leave us alone without asking for propinas or spending any money. The local gangs come and drink, and threaten us and leave and never return. The drug dealers come and see we are a respectable restaurant that sells food and keep our hours legal, and they loose interest and leave.

The locals who come to buy drugs and see there are none, buy food instead and leave... all seemed good except now we have no customers. We decide to keep up the clean face and our earnings are small, but last month we bought a coaster 28 passenger bus and now we are providing direct secure safe travel to San Salvador, mostly tourists. I think we probably wont have any of the aforementioned customers even come by to see what were up to since we are now operating poorer and legal. Besides I´m too old for any new adventures, but with the bus going to San Salvador almost every day, all the beautiful women there and the new beach resorts opening in El Salvador... who knows, perhaps Cafe luna will once again succumb to the ways of the land and perhaps one day we will make it to El Salvador.

After Cafe Luna in Guatemala closed and all the Houses we had rented returned to the original owners to do as they wished. We had a lot of furniture, I mean a lot if you can imagine 30 houses full of furniture. Up to this…Read More

After Cafe Luna in Guatemala closed and all the Houses we had rented returned to the original owners to do as they wished. We had a lot of furniture, I mean a lot if you can imagine 30 houses full of furniture. Up to this point I had no idea what to do with it all and since we were in the process of deciding if we were going to go to El Salvador or Canada we had to do something with all this stuff which was in storage in Guatemala city.

We decided to re-open an Internet Cafe in Antigua while we deliberated the best way to get rid of all the furniture. Of course this is Guatemala not Canada or United states, when we arrived at the supposedly secure storage site we discovered that most of the furniture was no longer there... what a surprise! NOT. Fortunately none of the computer equipment had been reached at the back either the thieves had no idea what it was or they never found it. So as luck would have it Cafe Luna Internet was born again on 2nd Avenida Sur in Antigua. We set up the 15 machines and laser printers networked everything by broadband and started selling at $2/hour which was really low but the competition was selling at $1/hour and since they were all close to the park and we were close to the cheap back packer lodging we opted that most wouldn´t walk the extra 5 blocks just to save a dollar. Plus we were the first place to offer on-line network gaming so the place was packed most of the day and it made us a bit of cash to live off of in the meantime. The furniture that was left over we ended up selling it over the space of 6 months piece by piece for a mere $20K... over $80K worth of furniture for $20K what a bummer... no one had the money to buy unless it was an incredible buy! then everyone had money. That's the thing about Chapins (Guatemalans) they will dress in the cheapest and oldest cloths you could imagine tell you the´re broke and poor and have no money but they sit on a half million dollars worth of land growing $400 worth of corn on it every year and they always have money when there is a dirt cheap deal to be had... go figure.

The internet cafe worked ok and now that we had gotten rid of all the remaining assets with a little cash we were deciding to go to Canada. Wow... guess what 6 months latter trying to get my wife and kid into the country, medical examinations, blood tests, the works tests, criminal background checks, that bible application I was telling you about they tell me it´s $2,000 for her and $1,000 per kid and I have to prove I am earning over $42,000 a year in Canada before I can bring them into the country. Well by now the extra cash we had is dwindled and to top it all the internet cafe gets broken into and they take everything, the equipment, the wires the phone, the sink, the toilet the door frame literally everything. The owner of the place we rented for the internet Cafe is screaming and ranting and raving and that we are responsible for the place and he wants us to pay for the new door, door frame, toilet etc. to boot. So what do I do, I pay for it all, I go out and buy all new equipment and re-open the internet cafe. Two weeks latter I get broken into again and they still everything... I have no more money, I have no job I have no assets in country, I'm really stuck... Close

After our near miss in Guatemala city we decided to move to Antigua. Antigua is a quiet little place with many expats, locals and back packers...thousands of them. Rich backpackers, poor backpackers, stinky backpackers, euro-trash backers, top of the line backpackers every kind of back…Read More

After our near miss in Guatemala city we decided to move to Antigua. Antigua is a quiet little place with many expats, locals and back packers...thousands of them. Rich backpackers, poor backpackers, stinky backpackers, euro-trash backers, top of the line backpackers every kind of back packer you can imagine. We decided to do things more quite and since the money had almost disappeared at this point we were limited anyways. We decided to open Cafe Luna again but this time it would be a small little cafe on 7th avenida near the park in Antigua offering breakfast and coffee. We offered 2 eggs any style, orange juice, goat cheese, pancake and maple syrup, fresh fruit, beans or hash browns, fried banana, cream, toast or tortillas, Jam and all the coffee you could drink all for $1.75 well needless to say we beat everyone at their own game of how low can you go and pissed off a lot of other restaurants whos price for 2 eggs beans and tortillas was around $3.00 at the time, we also packed the place to the hilt every day selling 100´s of breakfasts with people sitting on the sidewalk eating from our little cafe. After a while I went back home and brought with me a gas barbecue which back then you couldn´t find anywhere in Guatemala. We had to rig the connection to fit the tanks they sell here and thank god it never blew up and it did work and we started selling barbecue pizza and hamburgers for lunch and supper right in front of the cafe on the side walk. Again the place was packed day and night day and night. We worked like dogs but we were making some good money despite the low prices. The rent was only around $150 a month anyways and we decided to invest our money in something new. My biggest mistake.

We bought a 62 foot sail boat and started a life aboard a dive charter to Belize Sapodillias we charged $645 for one week per person including diving and food; liquor and beer were extra. Mostly we made around $1,000 a week per person and since the boat slept 18 persons comfortably I though it would be a great investment. What a lot of work!! The internet advertising, the emails,the web sites, the flyers, the bill boards the travel agencies etc. Dive instructors that endangered guests or never showed up, dive masters that came drunk or hung over, cooks that almost burnt the boat down etc.. etc. nothing but problems. The money started coming in again, not private plane level but we were going out 3 times a month on average with around 10 to 15 persons. Every week when we went out we would spear fish for Grouper, Sea Bass, Baracuda and Tuna with the troll lines and we would bring back conch, lobster and crab illegally of course but with us being the major supplier to the island police and military who was going to say anything. We brought with us every week, cases of beer, liquor, canned goods, spices and of course ammunition for the police on the island and the locals.

We sold the goods at 3 times the cost and the seafood we brought back to Cafe Luna and sold wholesale to the other restaurants but always sold directly to our customers at incredibly low prices Barracuda steaks for $1, Lobster for $3, Grouper fillet for $2, Tuna streaks for $1 etc... we simply made money. Living and working in Guatemala one soon learns that most business here either succeeds greatly or not at all and with success simply comes the drugs. I know what your thinking, your thinking this guy is a big drug dealer. Honestly, I never touch the stuff and I prefer whisky, Johnny Walker Black and that's all but anyways when one has a 62 foot sailboat doing runs into the Sapodillias every week people start to wonder and they don't figure your just trying to run an honest business or mostly honest. I soon learned that most of the Colombian drugs that come up to North America come via Panama, Nicaruagua, Guatemala, Belize, Haiti and off into the Florida keys. Suspiciously we had a dive master working for us that had his documents in order but seemed to surprisingly know little about diving in the Caribbean. I dont like getting into trouble and paid little notice to my suspicions but the bags he started bringing with him every week onto the boat seemed to be getting larger and the power boats coming up to the sail boat in the middle of the night didn´t help my suspicions much. Rather then confront the danger I decided to go on a vacation for a couple of months back to Canada and when I came back the boat was not in very good shape nor where there many tours going out. I thought perhaps it was my crew ripping me off but when I checked with the port Captain in Puerto Barios he told me that in fact no, the boat was not going out much at least to his knowledge....hmmmmm!

I put the boat and business up for quick sale and ended up with little profit. I was starting to think that to make any kind of business in Guatemala work it was going to be pretty hard. When I arrived back in Antigua Cafe Luna had been sited for closure for some illogical law that it had to have 3 bathrooms (even though the place was too small to accomodate more than 1 and the counsel would never grant me remodelling permits anyways) I think perhaps, small country, news travels fast. I really never heard any rumors either until a couple of years latter, someone came in to tell me of the legend of the sail boat that transported 1000´s of pounds of cocaine every week under armed guard by the Belize and Guatemala police to the Sapodillias. I guess since local authorities could never really prove anything and just had rumors to go by themselves this was their way of trying to oust me. After the boat sold and Cafe Luna closed for the second time we were almost ready to give up, go live in El Salvador and start something new or go freeze up in Canada... It was pretty clear we had built up a reputation no thanks to everyone around us and it was going to be pretty hard to try and do anything else without interference from someone, government, police, gangs or cartels. Close