Oh dear! For the UK reader familiar with the 80s TV programme Faulty Towers, you need to visit El Buchi Bar on the seafront at Roquetas De Mar. With your back to the sea, turn right from the marina and walk about 300 metres to the parade of shops and restaurants opposite the beach. There you will find a quaint 'goldmine'.
I was in a party of four and we decided to go for a spot of food and drink. The El Buchi appeared clean and tidy, and as it was not showing 'Fools and Horses' on the TV we went in. There was a lack of service, but after a few minutes the other customer sitting at the table next to us, identified himself as the chef, Dragomir, from Romania. Very apologetic re the lack of staff but the waiter was busy (Pointing to the back of his trousers). We took this to mean the waiter was 'otherwise engaged' in the toilet. Just hope he washed his hands. Anyway, Dragomir, went and got his pen and paper to get the order. We ordered one white wine, "No sorry, no wheat wine, all out!" Okay what about a red wine, Vino Tinto, "yes we have that!" Great, got any Vino Blanco? "yes we have that". What sort of wine is it? "It is Blanco, like the colour of wee wee." Er marvellous, well we shall have a glass please. Also 2 beers. Off went the omni-competent Dragomir. To be fair his command of English is a lot better than my Romanian. Whoops, back he comes, "No reed wine. Alexandru will be along shortly. I am the chef, no understand" After a couple of minutes along comes Alexandru, looking refreshed and a bit lighter than he probably was a few minutes earlier, with, I am glad to say, clean hands. To say that the lack of Spanish customer service had rubbed off onto him would be putting it mild. We got our drinks, including the 'wee wee' coloured wine, but not a smile in sight. I think we had disturbed Alexandru from his quiet time in the toilet. Shall we have tapas? Yes please, it costs one euro a plate here, but the portions were huge. I had some form of black pudding which looked like Alexandru had personally made it some minutes earlier, but very tasty, infact I had a second one (Whilst thinking of other things!). Ordering the tapas was great as we got another visit from Dragomir who was in his comfort zone, and very helpful. I have attached a copy of the menu that was helpfully translated, I assume on some form of computer translation service. Some dishes are a little confusing, ie 'Octopus to the Galician.' Yummy I should imagine very tasty!!
A very quaint bar full of surprises.
The following morning, being British, we decided to have a 'full English' at the bar next door, Bar Aurora. This is run very well by an English couple. No problems re translation, and the large full English, was (as they say), what it said on the tin. Large! Photo attached. Washed with by about 4 cups of coffee, there was no need to ever eat ever again, well not until sundown in any event. A perfect start to the day.
Both places I would visit again, for entirely different reasons.