Riviera Maya Stories and Tips

A Very Odd Tour Guide

We recently visited a resort with another couple in Riviera Maya, Mexico. My wife and I like to do a lot of day trips and planned one for this trip to go to some ruins, a cenote, and to do some snorkeling. We were picked up from the resort and transported to the another location where we met our guide for the day. We jumped in his Hummer and were on our way.

The day didn't start off too well, which according to my wife was partly my fault. The AC was on and I wanted to turn it up a bit. I adjusted the fan knob and the guide yells at me "What are you doing??!!". He proceeds to berate me for touching the controls. Granted, I should have asked if he could turn up the fan but there was no need to get irate.

After this incident, he starts telling us a little bit about his story. Supposedly, he was formerly a rich art dealer in the States who lost his fortune due to the crash in the real estate market and moved to Mexico for a change. I find it dubious that he was an art dealer as he didn't know what a print was when my wife said she wanted to get one. He also decided to share his medical history with us. Apparently, he had some prostate problems. Honestly, I did not want to hear that.

We went to the Tulum ruins. The guide took us there earlier than most others which was a very good decision. He knew that once crowds arrived the ruins were difficult to negotiate. We were own our touring the site and had a very interesting time.

After piling back into the Hummer, we were off to our next location where my friend and I were to zip line. The place was not very organized. We did not get any safety equipment and the "brake" for the zip line was a stick that you put up on the line when you wanted to slow down and stop. Good luck to you if you dropped the thing. The coolest thing about the place was the monkey that was outside the park. He was very friendly with it and we got to feed it yogurt and play with it.

The next stop was a centore. A cenote is an underground cave with fresh water. You can snorkel there and the temperature is cool but not uncomfortable. Before going to the cenote, we stopped for some snacks. I got some cookies and after we got back into the Hummer and drove for a few minutes, the guide looks at me and says "That's OK. I don't want any." I didn't really know what to say, so I pretty much just ignored him. I'm paying this guy to give me a tour why should I give him some free cookies? We snorkeled in the cenote which was pretty interesting. We also noticed that we were cool for the rest of the day afterwards, owing to the low temperature of the cave.

Our final destination was snorkeling in an area known for having a lot of turtles. We saw two turtles almost immediately but our guide did not stay in that area. He swam off and guided us around to some areas where we saw a few fish but nothing particularly interesting. I am not the best swimmer in the world which he should have known since I had a snorkel vest. I was lagging behind and I heard him yelling "Is he OK? Is he being slow on purpose?" We headed back in and I later learned that he had made a snide comment to my friend that "we would have seen a lot more if Brian wasn't with us". Had I known that at the time, the s**t would have hit the fan. The guide also kept trying to talk us out of putting on sunblock. My wife is very fair skinned and burns easily. Why he would try to say we shouldn't put it on is beyond me.

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