Delano Hotel South Beach – 1685 Collins Ave, South Beach, Miami. 800-555-5001, www.ianschragerhotels.com
Once known as the place to stay in South Beach it has recently lost that status. With the new construction of the Ritz Carlton and the renovation of the Shore Club (right next door), the Delano is fighting for the clientele it used to ignore. Named after President Franklin D. Roosevelt, whose family maintained a residence here for many years, there are 184 rooms, 24 suites, spa, gym, two restaurants, a lounge, and lobby bar, and it’s located right on the infamous Collins Ave. (with no parking in sight). Overall, it's a pretty hotel with efficient yet indifferent service (dressed in all white, of course) where an 18% gratuity is automatically added to every bill (that’s incentive for them to work hard). The hotel is very art-deco—some would call its clientele shi-shi, as it’s definitely a place where "stars" stay when they visit SoBe.
The front of the hotel is simple, with a half-circle driveway covered by very tall, very green bushes. In fact, you can only see the higher levels of the hotel because of the greenery blocking the front. The lobby is medium-sized, with air-conditioning pumping, huge white curtains hanging from the ceilings, mirrors, candles, and funky faux-fur couches everywhere. The Rose Bar is located within the lobby and where you’ll find $10 martinis (in the dark). The lobby is always packed—especially at night—with the "I am beautiful" types. The concierge desk is open 24 hours, which is nice, especially when you are in a town that parties until the wee hours of the night. Lots of security, especially during holiday weekends or when a convention/awards show is in town.
The rooms are 99% done in white (very sterile-looking), with lots of large white curtains, window seats, all-white bedding, etc. Minimalist design is the theme at this hotel, and it’s quite obvious just by glancing at the guest rooms. The only color you’ll find is a single green apple, which is compliments of the house… whoopee! The bathrooms are also sparse (and the size of a closet), with minimal areas for "stuff", like your insignificant toiletries. Walls are super-thin, so just pray you aren’t next to (or below) the room with people who are up entertaining themselves all night long or, worse yet, misbehaving rich children. The noise factor and thin walls are a major downfall of this hotel. The rooms are equipped with both American and European voltages (thanks to its French architect), and a candy bar from the minibar will cost you almost $4. Data ports, voicemail, speaker phone, and conference-call options are all telecom options that are available in your room, as well as a hair dryer, iron, cable TV, and a coffee maker (upon request). The lower-level city-view rooms tend to get noisy, which is something to consider. But if you are on a budget (which is an oxymoron at this place), those are the only "affordable" rooms. Housekeeping was very good, and the room was always kept spotless. Overall, it’s not a warm/comfortable room. It’s all about the ambience here.
The Aqua Spa is pretty but not as nice as you would expect, considering the clientele it hosts. Located on the rooftop and referred to as a bathhouse and solarium, "bringing luxury spa treatment to a new level." I simply disagree. I had a raw-honey-and-warm-milk treatment that was supposed to include a massage. I basically paid for a woman to wipe clumps of honey on my legs, arms, and back and then wipe it off with a washcloth soaked in milk—while I froze (because this hotel can not regulate its air-conditioning properly). It definitely sounds more exciting than it was, as I left extremely disappointed and very annoyed at wasting so much money.
The back yard looks overgrown, but I think they went with that feel on purpose–privacy. It has an outdoor restaurant with lots of bench/u-shaped booth seating and a large chessboard (like something you’d see at FAO Schwartz or Alice in Wonderland). The heated pool is a decent size, but you definitely need to get out early to ensure a chair. The beach behind the hotel is a public one, so most of the hotel guests stay within the hotel grounds and hang by the pool. Regardless, the beach is clean and large, if that is more your scene – definitely worth a look.
We did not rent a poolside cabaña but heard they went for $350/day. That’s cheap, sorry we missed it (are they kidding?). Poolside service was impossible; forget it if there was a celebrity in-house. Room rates and food charges can get crazy, and oftentimes, the staff has been known to clear out an area (like the entire pool when we were there) if a celebrity is at the hotel and wants to be alone.
The (David Barton) gym is really nice, with lots of state-of-the-art equipment and Internet access, but costs $15/day/person. Sort of ridiculous after spending so much on the room, but people do it (to work out with celebrities, I guess).
Valet parking is $25/night; public parking is limited and almost the same price for overnight stays. That said, this is not necessarily a city where you need to a rent a car unless you plan to explore South Florida. Note: after 8pm, men are required to wear pants. Recommended if you do not mind a see-and-be-seen atmosphere and more ancillary charges than you can count.