A long time ago--long before rock 'n' roll--there existed the phenomenon of the circus-side show. Traveling freak shows crisscrossed the countryside showcasing all sorts of peculiar acts and bizarre human oddities. Somewhere in the course of inhuman events, the sideshow disappeared from mainstream culture until Jim Rose came along in the early 1990's and revived the idea. He put the feelers out, scoured the bowels of society and put together his own assemblage of freaks. After a few years of touring to excess, his conglomeration of freaks wound up as a main act on the Lollapalooza tour.
Nowadays we live in a time of overdone epic sagas filled with ridiculous, in-your-face, eye-candy special effects and most people don’t get a chance to see good old fashioned side-show entertainment.
Billed as "an array of acts including weird science, electrical stunts, mythical monstrosities, and a liaison with the exotic and erotic," the Girly Freak Show came to California in late June. I saw the show in San Jose on Thursday the 29th and had a splendid time chewing fat with the performers. The next day I drove to L.A. to stay at Buky House Bed & Breakfast and it turned out that the same show was at the Key Club in Hollywood on Friday night. The tour manager recognized me from the San Jose show and got me in for free, which saved me twelve dollars. (Which I subsequently spent on two Heinekens.)
Comprised of three girls and one male, The Girly Freak Show featured: Slymenstra Hymen, the fire-slinging wizardress from the gore-metal band GWAR; Zamora the Torture King (Tim Cridland) from the Jim Rose Circus Side Show; a trapeze artist/contortionist girl whose name I forget; and an eye-patch-toting temptress named Reina Terror, who usually does her own solo freak show in New York.
After the opening bit with Slymenstra performing as the "cannibal stripper," Reina did her "fire dance" with a few small torches. She inhaled the fire a few times and spit it back out. Nothing like good old-fashioned fire eating.
Next were the pussywhipping cowgirls. Slymenstra stood there with a long whip while the Torture King held up a page from a newspaper. With a crack of the whip, she was able to slice the newspaper exactly in half. And then in half again, and again, and again. What a talent! Next, Reina stood with a lit cigarette in her mouth while Slymenstra whipped out the cigarette from twenty feet away.
After some more fire eating by the Torture King, Reina came back, decked out in a sultry red outfit while she hammered a nail up her nose and then pulled it back out.
Next, she took a skinny necklace, sniffed half of it up her nose and then pulled it out her mouth. One end of the necklace was hanging out her nose and the other end was hanging out her mouth. With one hand on each end of the necklace, she pulled it back and forth, as if she was flossing out her insides. Wonderful stuff.
Another girl, whose name I can't recall--it was something like Ooh-lah--came out and did a splendid trapeze act followed by yoga-type contortionist maneuvers. Man, this gal could probably twist her body into a freakin' pretzel if she wanted to! Then she lay down on a bed of nails while Slymenstra smashed a concrete block on her stomach.
Reina appeared on the stage again, wearing nothing but baby panties while the Torture King threw darts right into her back. Actually, they weren't darts, Reina told me after the show -- they were homemade piercing needles that were converted into darts. These particular needles make a different type of cut than regular darts do, so she ended up bleeding all over the stage, which made the show even better. This act was titled, "The Human Dartboard."
Other bits included Reina walking barefoot on broken glass, the Torture King placing a burning hot steel rod onto his tongue, and Slymenstra eating crickets and igniting light bulbs with her tongue.
The show finished off with the Torture King doing what he's known best for: shoving 12-inch steel needles through his face and arms. What a sight! A 12 inch needle straight through his bicep. And another one straight through the inside of his mouth and sticking out from the bottom of his chin. I ran out of film at this point, but if you want to see some quality photos of this, and I absolutely recommend it, go here.
If you happen to be a jaded bastard like myself, a good portion of the program might seem to be run-of-the-mill freak show fare, but all in all, it was an outstanding variety show involving several hilarious costumes and rotating performers. A sufficient alternative to all the boring watered-down, Hallmark Card entertainment we're usually subjected to.
The parts 2, 3, 4 of this journal entry are mostly just to show you more pictures, since we're only allowed four shots per entry. Please read on!!