Rio Dulce

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Bruno's Marina

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Jose Kevo
Jose Kevo
First Reviewer
3 out of 5
Avg. Member Rating
1
Review
4
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Editor Pick

Bruno's

  • April 1, 2008
  • Rated 3 of 5 by Jose Kevo from Middle-of-Nowhere, Missouri
Bruno's

For the unacclimated traveler that finds Río Dulce just a bit too Guatemalan, Bruno’s is the place for you! This jack of all services has been the driving force of tourism in the region. Growing competition has kept them from cornering the market, but they’ve certainly cornered the harbor with prime location.


While I had no intention of paying double or triple their accommodation rates (especially considering Bruno’s is on opposite side of the bridge from where I stayed, and certainly not exempt from incessant traffic noise), I was curious to find out what all the fuss was about. The segregated compound explained why there weren’t any foreigners wandering around town. They were all holed-up in this gringo haven worthy of a Jimmy Buffet chorus line; especially the "wasted away again…" part.

Smells of burning reefer lazed in thickness of humidity, and I was quite humored from more than a half-baked contact buzz. These weren’t gnarly surfer-types or younger rhasta-wannabes but retired salty dogs that had drifted-in on fancy yachts and become anything but grounded. To watch them scamper around bunkhouses and grounds like a bunch of kids at R-rated summer camp was aspiration for my golden years to be as much a total lost cause.

Once realizing the pool was open to anyone for $3, I swam in my own sweat back to retrieve trunks and couldn’t wait to cool off. If only! Diving-in about caused me to gasp under water thanks to the boiling pot affect. No wonder this picturesque setting was abandoned in early afternoon; almost nauseating to stay in the torrid water. Breeze against wetness momentarily felt good until stickiness returned. Bring a towel or something to sit on. Otherwise, cushionless wooden chairs were something like coming hot off a grill.

The lunch crowd had thinned-out from the open air restaurant and bar. Recognizable food choices started at US$7; beers and drinks also well over-priced compared to local establishments. I couldn’t help but notice how all eyes seemed to fixate when walking in; whether as someone new to drink and talk with or what. Uncanny how the entire expansive setting had a caged feeling; rather like some had wandered in and gotten trapped or lost.

Since things to do around town are limited, Bruno’s did make for interesting browses beyond the norm. Docks are scenic with vistas framing watercraft, and varieties of flowering tropicals were everywhere. At first I thought numerous ‘Danger, Falling Coconuts’ signs were playful swipes at the Margaritaville-crowd until thunderous crash legitimized alert; cue to watch where you walk or park.

A store caters to landlubbers and yachtie-types, and I highly recommend the communication center just to feign interest while basking in air-conditioning. Internet service is $2 for 30-minutes or $3 for an hour; rather up-scale prices like everything else at Bruno’s in catering to a crowd that doesn’t mind or know the difference in paying extra for everything.

Nightly activities are jump-started with a popular Happy Hour. Returning to my hotel around dusk, the younger Europeans were heading out to a Bruno’s pool party and coaxed that I join them for cooling off. Buckets of warm longnecks in melted ice around the balmy bathtub was not my idea of "chill"; opting for another cold shower instead.

From journal Rush Hour in Río Dulce

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