Amsterdam: Coffeeshops and Sex?

Amsterdam's Red Light District is the oldest part of the cit. It is a very charming area: the old buildings, bicycles, canals, cafes and of course coffeeshops. The Red District has recently been renovated and is now much more attractive than it used to be.

The Red Light District is not a dangerous place, not even at night. I would take the whole family, children and grandmothers included.

Quick Tips:

For the true Amsterdam experience, I suggest you visit: the Bulldog Coffeeshop, The Condomerie and take a guided tour through the Red Light District.

Best Way To Get Around:

Amsterdam is not a very big city, all sights are within walking distance. You hail cabs on the street or walk to one of the many taxi ranks (Leidseplein, Rembrandtplein, Dam Square, Central Railway Station). You can also order one by phoning: 677 7777. You can also take the metro: tickets (‘strippenkaart’) are valid on trams, buses an the metro and are for sale at the train station, tobacconists, post offices and certain supermarkets. However, you can buy expensive one-way tickets on the tram and bus. ‘Strippenkaarten’ come in 15 or 45 units and cost €5,90 and €17,40.

Amsterdam is divided into five zones, but if you travel in the centre you will stay within zone one. This means you have to validate two ‘strips’ on your card. If in doubt what to do ask the driver. The metro system is fast, but is only of use if you travel far outside the centre.

The Hemp Hotel is special because everything has to do with hemp. On the balcony there is a hemp plant, the curtains in our rooms are hemp. We sleep on a hemp futon. The sheets are also made of hemp.

The Hemp Hotel is special because there are only five rooms. Each room has its own character. There is a Afghanistan room, not so popular these days. It has dried poppies on the wall. Then there is the India room, the Tibet room and Caribbean room. We imagined ourselves in far-away places. But when you step on the balcony we realise that we are (only) in Amsterdam.

The Hemp Hotel is special because it’s a family hotel, whose owner has travelled the world. It is an ordinary house in an ordinary street, but very special.

The Hemple Temple Bar is special because there are hemp lollies, hemp ice cream, hemp seeds, 11 kinds of hemp beers, but there are also non-alcoholic drinks. We tested several hemp beers and drinks.

The Hemp Hotel is special because of the breakfast: little rolls made of hemp.

The Hemp Hotel is a unique place where you can drink, eat and smoke at your heart’s content.

'I didn’t know you liked house plants’, I said to my son. He had put three green pot plants in front of a south facing window, they were protected by aluminium foil so as to get a maximum of reflected sunlight.

‘Where did you get them?’

‘In the ‘Grow Shop.’

’Grow Shops’ are places where you can buy all you need to grow your own weed. By law you are allowed to grow 5 plants for your own consumption. My son bought three.

Many people think that cannabis and weed are legal in Holland. This is not true. Possession of small quantities is decriminalized which means it's not a criminal offence. You can buy your cannabis and weed from a menu in one of many coffeeshop. Approved coffeeshops are recognizable by the green and white stickers in their windows.

The age limit for smoking and drinking is 18, but you will never be asked to show your ID when smoking a spliff in the park or in the streets.

I was still admiring my son’s plants when he suggested we should go to a coffeeshop. This was an offer I could not refuse. 'I won’t smoke' I added hastily.

He took me to The Bulldog Coffeeshop nr. 90 Oudezijds Voorburgwal.

Apparently this was a ‘safe’ place to take me. The Bulldog is famous as it was the first coffeeshop to open in Amsterdam 25 years ago. Now it mostly visited by tourists. Inside it looks very ‘ordinary’. It is divided into three parts, a souvenir shop, a coffeebar with comfortable seating, and internet access, and downstairs the videotheek and screen. Funnily enough the Bulldog is a chain of coffeeshops. There is another one at number 132. If this one is not to your liking you can go to Leidseplein 13-17. This one, too, has the complete range of Bulldog souvenirs, it the biggest and noisiest of the chain. This building used to be a police station. Coincidence?

Dutch drugs policy differs from policy in other countries. The Dutch differentiate their approach to hard drugs and soft drugs. Possession of hard drugs is a crime and the possession of a small quantity of soft drugs is a minor offence for which no legal action is taken. A small quantity of soft drugs is a maximum of 5 grams. This means that there is a different approach to soft and hard drugs. In all larger cities in Holland you can find 'coffee shops' were you can buy soft drugs. The Bulldog is not my son’s ‘local’, but it was good enough to show his mother.

On the way home he bought me three pot plants. I don’t think I will ever harvest, though.

My daughter had heard about my ‘adventure’ in the coffeeshop and the next time I was in Amsterdam she suggested us going to one of the following places: Casa Rosso or De Bananenbar or Absolute Danny.

Casa Rosso, Oudezijds Achterburgwal 106-108, is a nightclub, but a very descent one, it is quite famous and one of the oldest in the Red Light District. There are live shows every night, the audience is asked to participate. The show is a pleasure to see, almost ‘family entertainment’, it is an unforgettable evening.

The Bananenbar is a different piece of cake, or rather banana: scarcely dressed girls act as barmaids and perform erotic tricks with .... bananas. Visitors can tell what their special wishes are ...... The address: Oudezijds Achterburgwal 78.

‘Absolute Danny’, a sex shop run by a woman. It is quite different from other sex shops and worth a visit if you are in for this type of shopping. It sells corsets and lingerie in rubber, pvc, see-through and leather, books, videos, erotic art and of course the traditional sex articles. It is open from 11.00am to midnight.

'Well,' my daughter said, 'which of the three?'

We went to Absolute Danny, because a woman runs it and because it is fairly innocent and because we don’t want to spend money on sex. We had a good laugh and a great afternoon!

Now it was my turn. My son had taken me to a coffeeshop together with my daughter I had been to a sex shop. I was going to take them to the Condomerie, a shop which specialises in condoms.

It sells condoms in all kinds of sizes, colours, shapes, flavours, for all kinds of purposes. They will help you find the right condom. If you want to change brands they have a measuring system for a perfect fit and a trial packet.

They sell traditional brands but also condom lollipops and hand-painted condoms. Their Christmas range is worth a try: reindeer, Santa Claus or a Christmas tree make great Christmas gifts. We were there in spring so it was only hearsay. But we did see the walnut: walnut shells with enclosed condoms quite ...........unique.

Their latest success is the Maxima package. Maxima is the name of the Dutch Crown prince’s wife. The package includes two orange flavoured condoms, a miniture condom in a jewel-case and one postcard. This will set you back 5 euros.

If you want to splash out and spend 10 euros you will get two orange flavoured condoms, one condom shaped as a royal frog with a little crown, a package with two ribbed condoms and one postcard.

It is best to visit the shop on a weekday. At the weekend many tour groups stop to window shop and it gets quite busy.

I bought my son and daughter a Maxima package, the one with the frog and the little crown. They have put it on display and haven’t used it ..............so far.

Dutch prostitutes, are united in a trade union, pay tax, have access to medical care, in other words, they are ‘small businesses’.

For more info about prostitution I recommend you pay a visit to PIC, the Prostitution Information Center. All your queries about the oldest profession will be answered.

The PIC is right in the centre of the Red Light District. Everybody is welcome: prostitutes, clients, students, grandmothers, tourists.

It is run by a former prostitute. She advises prostitutes as to their rights, publishes a free newspaper for prostitutes, and conducts guided tours through the Red Light District. The PIC also sells souvenirs: T-shirts, fridge magnets, postcards, posters. There is a reconstruction of a window brothel bedroom which you can visit.

If you are male and want to show-off at home, there is a huge cardboard prostitute caricature with a cut-out face. You stand behind it and have your photo taken. A good souvenir?

Every Sunday at 11 o’clock there is a guided tour through the Red Light District. You will hear about the "work", see places where this "work" is done, and you can any question you like. You will also visit a peepshow. Booking by telephone is advised: 020 – 4207328.

What does this remind you of?

And this?

No, they are not what you think they are ......

Number one is an ‘Amsterdammertje’ and number two is the National Monument on the Dam Square. And no, the Dutch do not have dirty minds.

Thousands of these cast-iron penises, or Amsterdammertjes have been installed to keep cars off the pavement. They are used instead of curbs and also work for bicycles. As long as you stay between the Amsterdammertjes and the houses you are safe from being run over.

The XXX symbol on the shaft is part of the city's coat of arms. And yes, I have heard all the jokes.

The second photo is the National Monument on Dam Square. This is the place where weary tourists rest their feet and where wreaths are lain on the 4th May in remembrance of those who fell during the Second World War.

I visited this museum with my daughter and we were in giggles all the time. Not so much because of the exhibits but simply looking at the men who thought this was serious business.

The first room is quite dull. It shows a collection of literature and manuscripts of sex through the ages. I quite likedthe china figurines with huge phalluses. There are also chastity belts and other equipment.

We then went to another room which was very popular with the male visitors. There are small padded booths, for one euro you can make your selection from eight different porno movies. We selected one but in fact it was all over before we really started looking at it. I’m sure it was not longer than one minute. When we left our booth it was soon occupied by one of the male visitors who stayed there for quite some time!

After this we went up stairs here it gets more interesting. This is the gallery of uncommon sexual desires.

This is not all. Another rooms shows thousands of pornographic pictures from around the world. If you feel tired you can sit on one of the huge penis chairs which vibrates every minute while you do a bit of people-watching and in particular men-watching. Quite a sensation!

The Erotic Museum is right in the middle of the Red Light District. There are five floors so you but I was slighly disappointed as I had expected not so much ‘real’ art. When I saw Jonh Lennon’s lithographs, his wedding present to Yoko, I thought I was in a ‘real’ museum.

The complete floor of Sado Masochistic objects and scenes was more what I had expected.And so was the room decorated as a grotto, with toadstools for chairs, showing Walt Disney type cartoons but proved to be hard pornography.

Another floor, which shows a large collection of erotic postcards, photos and erotic books was quite dull after the ‘Walt Disney’ experience.

The entire top floor consists of dioramas, which you bettter see for yourself.

All in all I think it is well worth a visit.

Opening hours Daily from 11.00 am. to 1.00 am.
Friday and Saturday until 2.00 am

Did you know that drugs grow on trees?

Did you know that cannabis is not a drug?

Cannabis is a plant Only when the plant is prepared and inhaled or eaten, it becomes a drug. Exactly the same happens to alcohol.

Cannabis is a plant and a member of the hemp family. Hemp has many other uses than getting people high. Hemp is used for making ropes, clothing and so on.

The cannabis has thin, pointed leaves. Originally it was found in Central Asia, but can now be found all over the world. In cold climates it needs greenhouses and if you grow it at home you can only do this in summer.

It's very easy to prepare the drug cannabis from the plant. You sinmply buy your small plants from a grow shop, nurture them and they will yiels a crop. Dry the bud, and this way you make grass or weed. It is very simple and because you can do it yourself it’s pure and not contaminated with other drugs.

If you press the sap into hard blocks of hash it makes smuggling easier. However, you must first heat it to soften it and make it pliable before you can smoke it. The disadvantage is that it can easily be contaminated with e.g heroin. This doesn't happen often, but it does sometimes, and is impossible with grass.

Someone who "takes drugs" is seen as a dangerous criminal: but we all take drugs, most of us every single day. Not many people call alcohol "a drug", but it is one, and probably even more dangerous than soft drugs. Caffeine is a drug and so is aspirin....

It goes without saying that Amsterdam has a museum showing to the use of cannabis: for pleasure, as a medicine or for making paper and textiles from the hemp plant. In a hothouse you can see how the plant grows.

I thoroughly enjoyed this museum as it explains in a clear and instructive way the various uses of hemp, hash, marihuana.

Open Monday to Saturday 11 am to 10 pm.
Sunday 11.00 am to 5.00 pm
Admission €3,75.