Continued from Part IThe car seemed a long, long way away. I summoned up the nerve to look over my shoulder occasionally, an act that took a lot of willpower. If there was a bear behind us, we’ll never know. I don’t think there was. But when I looked behind me for the third time or so, my eye and brain immediately picked up something moving back there.
It was probably a branch swaying, but no bear could possibly have generated a bigger adrenaline dump in my bloodstream than the one I experienced right then. I realized that I’d never truly understood the fight-or-flight response before. Although I don’t remember it, I must have checked the trail again, because nothing else explains the fact that I grabbed my daughter and ‘walked rapidly’ instead of dragging her behind me in a full out sprint. She told me later that she looked back and mistook a stump for a bear, but was happy to respond to my suggestion that we ‘walk a little faster’.
When we got back to the car, I was shaking enough that it took both hands to unlock the door. I can’t remember if we signed out on the log—I think I did. I did a ‘Y’ turn to head back up the hill we’d descended, but the combination of the steepness, the rutting, and the loose dirt and gravel brought us to a halt about half way up. I backed down the hill, and tried again. No luck. I snuck a quick look over at my daughter; she looked flat out scared. "If we don’t make the hill, we can always turn around and go the other way around the loop," I reassured her. She nodded, but all of her body language said she wasn’t comforted by that thought. The third try wasn’t any more successful, and I made another Y-turn and headed further into the forest.
It was right about now that she told me about the prints on the car door. She’d seen two dusty prints on the window and doorframe on her side; I hadn’t noticed anything while trying to summon enough fine motor skills to fit the key in the lock. At the time, I was sure they were from our hands; later, she told me she was convinced they weren’t ours, and especially weren’t hers. "When did I rub my hands in any dirt?" she argued. She had me there.
Meanwhile, the trip around the loop was proving less straightforward then I anticipated. The map showed the road heading mostly west, and then turning sharply north. I could tell that we were heading more southwest than west, and every curve in the road turned us further in that direction. The forest canopy had closed in, and the road was narrowing; ferns and branches were brushing against the car as we passed.
It wasn’t sundown, but it was 6pm. The sunshine had been covered up by clouds, and it was pretty dim as the road finally turned sharply north. I felt like we’d driven about three times as far as I’d expected to, and suddenly realized I should be paying more attention to my surroundings in case we had to retrace our steps. It made me realize the adrenaline was still rumbling around my brain, making clear thinking a little more difficult.
The map showed the western edge of our loop to be a little longer than what we’d just traveled. I now had to slow my speed to take the bumps, and to reduce the feeling that the branches were scratching up the rental car. I noticed that it was hard to shake the feeling that something was behind us. Now at its narrowest, the road finally turned back to the east, giving us both some new confidence.
That’s when we found the route blocked by a locked gate, and that’s when I really panicked. It was an
unlocked gate that led to trouble in Oregon; that distinction didn’t seem too important at the time. I think my daughter noticed the change in my demeanor, and it unsettled her further. I threw the car into reverse, and tried to turn around on the narrow road. I immediately heard the frame scraping over a fallen log, just before I backed into a tree on the road’s edge. It took three cycles of drive to reverse to drive before I could make enough room to change directions, each time wondering if I was being careful enough to avoid pulling forward or backward onto a slope I couldn’t get off. As we finally got going again, I thought that it would have been good to pay more attention to that question. The adrenaline wasn’t having any of it, though.
Now I really worked hard to make sure I wasn’t missing any intersection on the way back. We got back to the point where I started paying attention, and hoped there weren’t any forks on this part of the drive. I quickly started enumerating the options out loud, this time for both of us. "We can try the hill again. I didn’t push it too hard before, because we thought we could just go the other way." My daughter nodded, unconvinced. "I didn’t put it in low gear before, so we can try that. And I didn’t push the car to help it up the hill, either." Talking helped, but both of us were swallowing hard. I was trying to figure out how I could push and drive on a hill at the same time, without endangering the car itself. Should I push and let my 13-year-old drive for the first time? Even through the adrenaline, I could see the limitations of that idea. "And if we have to, we can get out and walk back and get help from those people at the campsite." She nodded again. "It’s not too far, maybe 12 or 15 minutes." I could tell she didn’t want any part of getting out of the car right where our troubles had started.
Thankfully, our first try in low gear brought us up the hill, with only a little loss of traction along the way. As it often does, the relief brought a manic level of conversation, nervous laughter, and "I was really scared when…" recollections of the experience. We drove by the two campsites, and even though both groups went about their business, it was really nice to see cars and RVs and especially people.
We must have driven back through Grant Grove, but again, I don’t recall a thing about that passage. We took the southwestern arm of the ‘Wye’ and headed for the park gate and the Big Stump entrance. As we neared it, I slowed down and turned into the facility, which was much larger than any of the other gates we’d encountered at Sequoia or Kings Canyon, built to accommodate the crowds that come to Grant Grove from Fresno. It was nearing 7 pm, and only one or two of the half-dozen entrance booths were staffed. I turned around in the parking lot so I could head in as if I were arriving at the park. I explained to the ranger that we were leaving, but I had a question. "We just came from the Chicago Stump, out in the National Forest?" I realized I was making a question of my statement. He looked puzzled. "You know the big tree that was cut in the 1890’s, off to the west of the highway?" He started rummaging around for the same park map I was holding. "Well, anyways, we almost got stuck down there, and I was just wondering if the roads in that area were always that rough." He looked up from the map, and spoke for the first time: "You mean there are
roads down there?"