Thailand 2008: Fear, Guilt and Heat

"Gah-feh rohon krap" I would say in the proper tones. The first vowel is short, the second is long. The third rolls on an uneven hill and the last is very short. What Thai friends understand when I pronounce these three words is: "hot coffee please."

Yet, whenever I try it at a Thai coffee stall, one of two scenarios follows:

1. They are so surprised by a foreigner approaching them that they automatically assume I am speaking a foreign language and do not listen to me. They panic and try to recall their English.

2. They assume I wanted to say "Gah-feh pong" (instant coffee) and would attempt to serve me a different beverage. Most Thais believe "Nescafe" is the national drink of Farangistan.

Sometimes, the best way of dealing with this routine is just entering the nearest Starbucks.

Starbucks Khaosan Road

Strangely, Starbucks defines pretty well the 21st century Bangkok. The international corporation products are widely considered here as better than traditional coffee, mirroring thus the rest of the now Westernized, Thai society. As such, beyond being enjoyable, Starbucks is a fascinating place to visit while in Bangkok.

Starbucks had a late arrival at Khaosan Road; after having conquered the commercial areas of Bangkok, they finally opened a branch at the backpackers street only a couple of years ago. Well, almost there. In one of the last re-developments of the area, a tiny alley was created on the northeastern side of the street. Romantically named Sunset Street, it hosts an English bookstore, an Italian pizzeria, a bar and a sumptuous Starbucks branch. The last occupies three rooms at the entrance level of a two floors Victorian house.

A sign by its entrance proudly shows a map of the structure and gives names to the rooms; here I kept their original spelling. The first room accessed from the entrance is where the counter is located; it is named Starbucks's: The Grand Bar. Behind it is the Victorian: The Seating Room, which is the largest. At its left is the very small Memphis: The Living Room. The Victorian environment has an obvious Egyptian touch; while there, I could easily imagine myself being at some gathering of a British geographical society during the late nineteenth century. The rooms setup resembles a question mark: "Should I have another cup?" is the subliminal message. A few tables are scattered around the building as well, but with the air conditioners inside and Bangkok's heat outside, there is no choice but sitting inside. Unluckily, this branch does not have toilets; public ones are behind the structure; the entrance costs 5 baht.

The Thai staff speaks English and politely ignored my greeting them in Thai, they were above that. Beyond that, the products and prices are as described for Hua Hin with the exception of hot drinks appearing here also in venti size.

The Acid Test

Croissants are patiently made of a leavened puff pastry by layering yeast dough with butter and rolling and folding; if properly prepared, the result is very light and of airy qualities, and thus highly appropriate for a celebration of freedom. It was prepared for the first time in Vienna in 1683 to celebrate the defeat of the Turkish, which held the city under siege; the Austrians literally ate the half-moon used as the symbol of their imperialist foe. The complex preparation process makes it ideal for testing the quality of a bakery.

Here, they were labeled as "butter croissants" (I had reported in the past about Starbucks European Croissants), and I decided to try one. Fearing the answer, I asked: "Do you heat it with a microwave?"

"No!, we have an oven," was the immediate answer; for a second I was convinced somebody actually read some of my earlier articles on the issue.

Seconds later, the pastry was reverently placed on a plate, and the last on a tray next to my coffee. I took everything to a table in the Memphis Room that was not exposed to the surveillance cameras.

Before tasting the croissant I weighted it. It wasn't as bad as in earlier experiences at Starbucks, but it obviously wasn't airy. Ignoring the knife and fork on the tray, I took a bite. A complex analyzing of the product began then; in this post-industrial world we should be careful and thorough on such important issues. Tasting the flavors; gauging the texture. Weighting the event. Delaying the judgment.

"Not bad!" I said to the empty room. It obviously contained butter and it wasn't microwave-chewy, though it was the result of a mass produced produced puff pastry; its straight shape had been the first hint of that. Despite that, and for the first time, Starbucks had passed my croissant test.

The Coffee

Regarding coffee, Starbucks is a dilemma. Consistently - even in Sacramento - the chain provides good quality coffee. Good, but not excellent. Yet, it is priced as premium coffee, especially in Thailand, where a single cup of "Short Americano" can buy six simple noodle soups and leave change after that.

Let's face the truth. An "Americano" is just a water-diluted espresso. By definition it cannot be excellent. Yet, a proper espresso cup in Rome is drank in seconds, while we expect to spend some time sitting in a comfortable coffee shop. That's the only justification for a Starbucks Americano. By definition, it is less than perfect, and relies on other redemptive qualities. This is where Starbucks Khaosan excels; if managing to stay away of the surveillance cameras, the place is superb.

With some care and patience, the most extraordinary angles of Bangkok can be found hiding behind the next corner, or in the smallest hours of the night.

Bangkok's Empty Quarter

North of the Grand Palace is a large park, delimited to the north by the Ratchadamnoen Klang Avenue. Across it, Khaosan Road is the first parallel street to the avenue. Between Khaosan's west end and the avenue there is what looks like a parking lot; a weirdly empty space at one of Bangkok's premium areas.

Next to it - on the avenue side - is a large building. Despite its simple lines, it holds the keys to understanding Bangkok's Empty Quarter; this is where the Thai National Lottery offices are. Lottery tickets are an important part of the Thai lifestyle. Ambulant vendors walk the streets carrying them on wood trays hanging from their necks. People stop them and seriously study the tickets. They touch them - trying to feel up their consistency and luckiness factor. They watch the numbers - trying to spot a lucky one. Sometimes they buy one or two after bargaining for a while.

The Empty Quarter is the missing link between the offices and the ambulant vendors; there, whole-sellers offer to the vendors the tickets they have purchased at the offices. Their operation pattern is complex; some days the market opens before sunrise, others it is closed. While open, several rows of air conditioned boots sell tickets through their windows, additional stalls appear on the parking lot. Luck is in the air.

The Corner

Most travelers would consider the last paragraphs wasted ink; hot air added to a hot city. However, a second look at the very corner of the area would disclose a humble coffee stall behind a low cement fence.

Few traditional Thai coffee stalls remain in hyper-modern Bangkok; this is one of them and as such is worth at least one visit while in town. especially since there are not surveillance cameras overlooking it; I hope this article would not cause that to change. The stall operation hours are irregular; roughly, it opens an hour before the lottery tickets stalls. I apologize for the vagueness, but that's part of its charm.

Coffee and More

I know some of the people operating it since year 2000. They recognize me, yet, they stubbornly refuse to acknowledge my attempts to communicate in Thai. Smiling and signing is the name of the game. A square box on two bicycle wheels accommodates a water boiler, filters and all the ingredients needed to prepare the different variants of the perfect cup of Thai coffee. The products sold here are simple: Thai coffee, instant coffee, Thai chai and fried buns.

The main drink sold here is the Thai version of coffee; it is prepared with a cloth filter and here it can be bought for ten baht (roughly $0.33). Thais seldom drink it black; usually a thick layer of condensed milk is poured into the cup first and then is followed by the coffee and some water to dilute it down to a drinkable concentration. To end the process in a neat conceptual circle, some evaporated milk is added; the coffee is so dark that the milk added in such a way does not have any effect on its color. After the blend is stirred, the thick, solid brown color of perfection is achieved. The result is much thicker than any coffee in the West and tourists drinking it for the first time often compare it to thick chocolate.

Not only the texture is different, the taste is also unusual. Thais prefer flavored coffee, and to the ground coffee, they add ground tamarind or pickled plum. The specific flavor is decided by the staff, since due to the nature of the process, all the coffees at a given moment are prepared from the same filter. Moreover, the condensed milk contains palm oil. The result is quite attractive and features that lush richness of the tropics.

"Nam cha" literally "water tea" is black tea with milk; the drink does not resemble the British version and is identical to the Burmese chai.

To accompany the coffee, small fried buns resembling French beignets are available for two baht each, they are picked up from a large bowl. Healthy green tea is always given for free at the end of the event, or is available in a big pot at the table, depending on the number of customers crowding the place.

Morning Breeze

At 4 AM the city is still cool and sticking to its traditions; sellers and buyers of lottery tickets, tuk-tuk drivers and touts - and occasionally a long-nosed farang - share a moment of quiet before modern Bangkok awakes.

Central World

I have described the Central World shopping mall in another journal; yet, the place is so big that many specially dedicated journals would fail to cover it properly. Probably all the shops in Hollywood could fit within it comfortably.

The dimensions are difficult to comprehend, especially since it is only one among various similar malls in Bangkok, the area reminds of Orchard Road in Singapore, or Tsim Sha Tsui in Hong Kong. Central operates other shopping centers in the area, including the huge Big C supermarket across the street and the nearby Central department store on Ploen Chit Road.

Isetan

This department store occupies the northern side of Central World. Of Japanese origins, it is one of the most attractive stores in town, especially so since it offers many useful services, including accepting foreign currency (US, Singapore and Hong Kong dollars, and Japanese yens), an ATM and VAT refund for tourists who spent more than 2000 baht in a given day and at least 5000 in total. A baby rest area and playland, a storage area for purchases and the Kinokuniya Bookstore complete the picture.

I reached this store while searching for books in English. I didn't find what I was searching for, but a nice surprise awaited me on the third floor that is dedicated to menswear and accessories. On its northern side and facing the plaza below was the Sun Moulin Cafe Bakery. Before studying it, I approached the window and looked down.

The Plaza

Outside the mall is a big plaza that includes two large, beautiful and surprising temples. The one, solid and low, is the Ganesh Shrine; it is dedicated to the Hindu Elephant God, which is considered here as a benefactor. Flower garlands, bananas and fresh stalks of sugarcane are given to it as offerings. Near it is the larger, whiter and taller Trimurati Shrine, amidst a shallow, black pool. It consists of three pillars representing the Hindu gods Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva. The offerings here include red flowers, candles and incense. The fact that most of the worshipers are Theravada Buddhists is another odd peculiarity of the Thai society.

Sun Moulin Cafe Bakery

A counter is located away from the windows; between them several tables are scattered. The area is separated from the shop by a big sign telling the customers about a Bakery Buffet every day between 12 PM and 2:30 PM.

It was the first time I heard about a bakery buffet; the idea was intriguing. Costing 139 baht (including soft drinks and coffee), the deal was apparently good; eating for less in similar establishments is difficult. The price compares to simple fast food meals. The only catch was an additional charge of 100 baht if the customer left more than 100gr of food on his plate.

Taking the chance, I gave it a try.

Piling up Plates

The most unusual characteristic of the diners was that they did not re-use their plate. Each time they took a new one, while piling up the used ones on the table's side. As always in Thailand, the Western conceptions regarding the order of the meal (separate salty and sweet, sweet by the end of the meal, etc.) where ignored.

The Food

The various dishes were not separated by flavors or categories, thus sometimes it was difficult to guess what type of food I was watching at; the strangest one was shaped as a cookie, had the consistency and look of marshmallow and was filled with beans paste. However, the setup was clear and pleasant.

Sweet and salty pastries included ingredients as sausages, pineapples, ham and cheese; some of them were hot, others cold; their shape was varied and attractive. All were obviously fresh and enjoyable. Small sandwiches, in bread or croissants were a bit unusual for Thailand; fearing their spicing, I found them good, except for a bit too much mayonnaise in most of them that spilled out while eating. The salads were varied; I spotted here for the first time in Thailand a reasonable potatoes salad. The pasta corner included a superb spaghetti spiced up with Thai basil and chilli; this dish alone was worth the visit. Attractive cakes and cookies were present as well, but by the end of the meal I had no room left for them, and created thus a good excuse for a follow up visit.

Drinks included the usual soft drinks, as well as several syrups typical of Thailand, tea and coffee. Actually, I spent mos of the time there sipping coffee while happily watching the crowds in the plaza.

Minestone Soup

It took some efforts to decipher this linguist and literal gem.

Upmarket Bangkok is often deceiving; the shinier the modern contraption is, the more probable it would offer just a downgraded version of some international mass-products' chain. In this category, the most glamorous is the Siam Paragon shopping mall. A Lamborghini parked on one of its upper floors should convince visitors that everything sold there is top quality.

Siam Paragon is located just next to Siam Square and can be easily accessed with the Skytrain. Inside its boxy structure and on the street level are located most of its restaurants, including Piri Piri Flaming Chicken Bangkok. Near the last is a huge Thai Food Plaza - perhaps the biggest in the country - that at the time of my visit hosted an attractive Japanese Food Fair. But this visit was dedicated to an African chili commonly used in the Portuguese cuisine.

Piri Piri

Piri-piri is the name used in Mozambique for the African bird's-eye chili; despite being a rather small chili, it is very hot and can reach 175000 Scoville Heat Units. The last measures the hotness of a chili and is based on the concentration of capsaicin, the pepper's irritating chemical compound. Piri-piri roughly compares to Habanero and is stronger than the Cayenne, Tabasco and Jalapeño varieties; it is widely used in many Portuguese dishes, especially for chicken and fish marinades. The use of turmeric in its preparation gives to the sauce a very peculiar ochre color.

It must be understood that using a chili with a high Scoville Heat Units score does not automatically mean the dish is very hot, that depends on the amount used. However, a chili with a high Scoville Heat Units value would need to be added in smaller quantities than one with a low value in order to achieve a specific spiciness.

Piri Piri - The Chain

At first spice, Piri Piri - a chain of spicy Portuguese chicken - seems as the perfect match for Thailand, at least on the culinary level. However, in other countries, Piri Piri is positioned as a slightly-better-than-KFC fast food joint, while in Thailand they are trying hard - but unsuccessfully - to appear as an upmarket place, leading to a less than satisfactory experience.


The Space of the Spice

Piri Piri Siam Paragon occupies an open space at the entrance floor of the mall. The place includes a bar and an open sitting area; the tables and chairs are made of solid, dark wood; the bar's base is adorned with a mosaic depicting black chicken with big red hearts; garlic and chilies garlands hang on the wall behind the bar. Another mosaic on the wall shows local customers where the Mediterranean Sea is. Dark green lamps and other touches in that shade gracefully blend with the dark brown of the furniture, giving the place a quasi-Starbucks ambience.

The menu is displayed on plastic cards on every table as well as on the two massive columns within the restaurant; the last is an amazing touch of bad taste, since the customer cannot avoid constantly looking at the prices while eating. Despite the place being comfortable, it is quite noisy since it is separated from the other restaurants and the crowds only by a low fence.

Menu

The main item in the menu was roasted chicken; its variations included Piri Piri, Lemon and Herb, Honey Mustard, Cajun, Bombai Curried and Thai Salsa. The last was a concession to the local cuisine and was advertised as "Delicious but not for the Faint Hearted." These dishes included French fries and a small lettuce salad. Regardless the type, all the chicken were priced equally: a breast cost 160 baht, half cost 190, and a whole chicken was offered for 360 baht; in comparison, a whole roasted chicken, sliced and packed to-go in an aluminum foil, can be found in Thai markets for 40 baht.

Additional salads (125-180 baht) were quite standard; the most interesting one was the Mediterranean Salad, made of "mature cheddar, cashew nuts and apples." Other side-dishes included extra French fries (90), garlic bread (50), extra sauce (20), brusetta (sic, 60); soups (minestrone or mushroom) were available as well.

Sandwiches, burgers and steaks (140-240) also appeared in the menu, but they could hardly be attractive in a place specializing in chicken. The drinks offered included shakes (80-90), juices (80-95), soft drinks (40), tea (80), coffee (70-90) as well as beers and wines. Desserts included pancakes (100), and ice cream (130). The naming of several coffees was a bit disturbing, one of them was named Mug-a-Chino.

All the items were excesively priced by local standards, especially while taking into account that the surroundings were noisy and crowded and that the plce is just a fast food joint.

Paying

7% VAT was added even to the compulsory 10% service; then, the sum was ridiculously rounded up to the next half baht. I got in such a way the first 50 satang coin I saw in this trip to Thailand. Piri Piri offered dime-nickeling - pennying actually - at its best.

Piri Piri Chicken

I'll review here only the Piri Piri Chicken, the flag-ship of the chain. I ordered the breast option and got a big plate with four small chunks of breast, a nice serving of French fries and a lettuce salad. The chicken was covered with piri piri sauce, while the lettuce had a different - and unidentified - dressing; the French fries were thick - much thicker than the usual in American chains and fitting also the normal serving fashion in my country - and I found them fresh and tasty. I added to them a bit of sauce from the piri piri bottle on the table and got a wonderful dish. However, the chicken was disappointing; it cointained bones leftovers, it was burned on the edges and overall quite dry. Only a massive amount of piri piri atop it transformed it into edible.

Regarding the piri piri itself, I must remark this was the first restaurant in Thailand where I could not spot a bottle with local chili. The reason became clear as soon as I tasted the piri piri; it was fierce to the point of demanding cointainers made of extra-thick glass.

At Bangkok's Suvarnabhumi Airport a digital picture of me was taken as a condition for getting the visa-on-arrival; I wasn't asked if I agreed.

A month later, while renewing my visa through Kawthaung, the Thai customs ugly pawed my luggage in a very unfriendly way. My Bible was thoroughly inspected by an obvious unbeliever.

In the month between these two events, I found a different Thailand, the Land of Smiles of my previous visits had changed for bad. Even the monsoon rains were gone, in the whole month I witnessed less than five torrential rains. The land was hot and in heat for no obvious reason. Let me review the situation through an almost random collection of events.

Starbucks Khaosan: This branch of the popular chain was one of my favorite spots in town, mainly due to its superb design in a Victorian style with classical Egyptian themes. I imagined myself a member of some honorable British geographical society every time I enjoyed an Americano there. The place has two comfortable inner rooms; in each one of them a surveillance camera is located at one of the high-ceiling corners. Wanting to enjoy my drink in peace, I always arrived early - usually I was the only customer of the day - and chose a spot away from the camera's surveillance angle. Invariably, that led to frequent visits of the staff into the inner room. They would take a look, gauge the amount of coffee left in my cup and leave without a word.

7 Eleven: This chain is a main feature of most Thai cities. Bangkok is practically flooded with them. The surveillance cameras inside the stores were expected, however, the shops feature now cameras on their outside. Often, these massive cameras do not watch the shop's entrance, but the surrounding streets.

Junctions: Most junctions in Bangkok feature now surveillance cameras covering the street, but also the sidewalks around them. Monitoring the traffic can hardly be an excuse for the last.

Bus Terminals: The Mo Chit Northern Bus Terminal of Bangkok features criss-crossed surveillance cameras, while the new southern terminal is covered with surveillance bubbles. Whole battalions of policemen are stationed within them.

The MRT Subway and the Skytrain: The new MRT features bag searches and heavy surveillance by cameras at all its stations, while the Skytrain is massively covered by cameras and armed guards.

Beaches: Hua Hin beaches are covered by surveillance cameras. Big Brother researches its citizens scars, marks and weight. By any means, that is a violation of the right to privacy given by Article 12 of the United Nation's Universal Declaration of Human Rights.

Khaosan Road: I have wrote extensively about this street. As of August 2008, the area has been covered with cameras. Places like Beit Chabad and Viengtai Hotel feature policeman at their doors. Around the Green House there are regular police patrols. The Chanasongkram Police Station at the west side of the street features prominent anti-riots vehicles at its entrance. The adjacent Soi Rambuttri is in surveillance of police teams at its both ends.

Shopping Malls: The newest shopping malls in Bangkok, feature metal detectors at their entrance and sporadic bag searches; this is a new development.

Chatuchak Market: this popular market gives now the feeling of being live on a prime time TV show.

Political Stings: The most worrying events resemble illegal political sting operations - entrapment in other words - carried with, at least, the consent of the local police. Under the nose of the Chanasongkram Poloce Station - on the west side of Khaosan Road, the most popular tourists' center in town - T-shirts with disturbing and illegal messages are being openly sold. Moreover, despite the official policy, pirate CDs and DVDs are also openly sold there. In one specific spot - called iLounge on 5 Soi Rambuttri, on the backside of the Rambuttri Travel II agency - the digital files are being sold by the hour (50 baht for an hour of pirated digital media). This place is different of the others because it is being run by a native English speaker and features titles than in America would be called subversive. Apparently, these are officially orchestrated political sting operations.

What have the Thai done? What are they afraid of?