Seventy-Two Suburbs in Search of a City

Explaining the true nature of Los Angeles to someone who has never been here is a little like trying to get someone to change religions. We are the land of glitz and glam, where celebrities roam free and everyone’s big break is just around the next corner. Legends are built here, forged at the base of the Hollywood sign, and embedded in the concrete of Mann’s Chinese Theatre. Tinsel town is as large as your dreams, and when it gets boring an earthquake will come around to shake things up. Seeing the real LA for the first time is a bit like seeing the face of god; everyone has a different idea of what he should look like (after all we made it in the image that we wanted it to be), but once the façade is torn down and the real LA comes out its beauty is boundless. This may sound strange, but that’s LA. It’s a city whose reputation has been built up over centuries. California helped to complete our westward expansion, to assure American’s Manifest Destiny. Ever since then people went west in search of their fortune, rushed to Cali to find gold, or moved to save their tormented lives trapped in the dust bowl. These illusions have never washed away; they only evolved into our perceptions today. Sometimes it’s hard to live up to an ideal.

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Someone once said ‘Los Angeles is sventy-two suburbs in seach of a city’. Another person said ‘when the US tilted everything that was loose ended up in LA.’ Yet another person once said ‘I’ve never been out of the country, but I have been to LA; does that count?’ My favorite quote, however, is by Janis P. Stout ‘[LA] constitutes a social world of its own that is peculiarly disordered, speeded up, and artificial. The popular idea is that California was for so long the special end point of the westerning dream, the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow of hopes of countless pioneers, it has recived more then its share of restless visionaries or misfits and is therefore a more intensely neurotic version of the modern America."
Regardless what is said about LA it is all true. We are driven by something that is unseen. We follow our own path. We have a culture of our own that feeds into the visions of the diverse citizens that make up the land. People never see the real LA until they arrive without expecations, because Southern California is what you make of it. It took me two times to get it, but on the second time it stuck. I did LA on my terms not anyone elses, but I accepted the city for what it is.
We are a city built on kaos, and that’s how we learned to live. You can tell a true California because we measure distance with time not miles, we don’t blink an eye when our favorite actor runs by us on the street filiming a movie, or when the earth shakes. We accept that it may take 10 minutes to drive two mles or two hours, but when it rains life falls apart.
My only suggestion for begginging to understand LA is to understand our highways. That’s where we spend a majority of our life, and if you can get over the initial shock, fear, and boredom, then the rest of the city isn’t that hard to understand.

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Over the years I have come to accept the things that will never change. People will pour their life savings into a car that they could never afford to life up to the LA standard, when it rains, regardless how little, streets in downtown will flood, and rush hour starts at 7am ends at 10am picks up around noon and then starts again at 4:30pm and goes until 9:30 pm. Yet driving is still the best way to get around.
Parking can be hard to find. Depending where you are street parking ranges in price. Some streets are free, but beware some of the parking is by permit only or for certain days of the week. If you going to be in one area all day I suggest parking and walking. Parking lots are everywhere, especially downtown. They cost between - depending on the time of day, day of week, or if an event is happening.

Though my travels I've learned sometimes the destination that we seek pails in comparison to the events that happen along the way. Strange enough this also spills over into the some of the more mundane events that happen in our day making even a simple trip to a restaurant an event that friends will share for the rest of their lives. In this case I'm referring to Buddha's Belly. Located in Santa Monica just off of the 3rd Street Promenade sits this Asian Fusion restaurant. At night the place is packed being a popular place for a date. The inside is set up with LA's version of the ultra modern Asian style including large ceiling lamps, Buddha statues, and odd shaped bowls that reminded me of Asia gone Mod. All of this splashed with black and red paint and dark browns. If privacy is an issue then this is not the place to be. The tables are so close that I could have easily reached over to the next table to us and grab some of their shrimp tempura with my chopsticks.
Buddha's Belly serves an array of Asian food ranging from Thai and Korean to Japanese and Chinese. Just as an example they serve Tofu Lettuce Cups ($7.95) and Chilled Vietnamese Rolls ($6.50) as starters. Along with Chilled Seafood Noodle Salad ($8.50), Seared Ahi Tuna Salad ($10.95), Shishito peppers ($5.95), and Blue Lake Beans ($5.95). Their noodle and entrees are endless serving up items such as Pad Thai ($9.95), Singapore Seafood Noodles ($11.95), Spicy Tom Yom Konn Thai Ramen ($9.95), Ginger fried rice ($7.95), and Japanese vegan curry with veggies and rice ($8.50). Their main dish list is a little smaller offering Japanese-style baked Alaskan Black Cod (this tongue twister costs $16.50), tofu steak ($8.95), and sweet chili shrimp ($14.50).
I ordered the Thai Green Curry Chicken and Jasmine Rice ($8.95). Not being a fan of Thai food I can't justify what I was thinking. When my plate arrive I wasn't disappointed, but I can't can say that the food wasn't life changing. The food was okay, it didn't have that extra spark that I would normally expect from Asian food, but I guess that is the "fusion" part of it. And although it did have some spice to it; the dish didn't live up to the spiciness that usually comes with curry and defiantly the punch that normal Thai food has to offer. My very out of town friend went with the "safest" thing on the menu she could find (her words not mine) and choose the Koren Steak ($14.95). This is not the place to take the farm girl making her first trip to anywhere other then the Atlantic City and the Outer Banks. She very graciously just marked it up as "new experience".
Now that the food part is done let me get to the real attraction of the night, the waiter. Normally waiters offer up food suggestions, stop by the table to check up, and then cox you into dessert, not my waiter, oh no. He stalked his patrons through out the night. While ordering he corrected everything. I made the mistake of asking for the Thai Green Curry Chicken and rice he corrected it as Thai Green Curry Chicken and Jasmine Rice.

After ordering he stood at our table just lingering, not saying a word for several seconds before leaving. When the couple at the table next to us was seated by a different waiter he proceeded to stand two feet behind the one chair and nod while the other waiter asked for the drink order. This was not the only incident of standing and starring he did thought the night. He did it to all of the tables near us. At one point it got so bad that I could feel his eyes burning on my forehead as I diverted my eyes to my curry and concentrated on my chopsticks causing myself to fumble and drop everything. During the hour that we were their he came to out table 15 times. That was a little much. The kicker was when he jumped into a picture being taken at the table next to use and then just walked away, which caused the table to immediately erupt with laughter. Honestly I was never so happy to see the check come in my life and I gave him a nice tip out of fear that he would track me down at my house if I didn't.
I can't say that I would go back their again.

This place is so low key that it is uber-trendy and the staff knows it; just as every other restaurant on Washington Blvd. The bight yellow building offers inside and outside seating. I prefer the outside, because the inside seemed dark while the terrace was bright, airy, and allowed for great people watching. I arrived at the wrong time, during lunch hour on the weekend, with no reservation. Luck was on my side because someone had missed their reservation and I go the table. The patio was perfect. Decorated with giant butterflies on the ceiling it kept me in the perfect beach mood.

I was impressed by the fact that they were cool with the fact that my friend and I brought in outside drinks. Vendors were handing out free cans of Full Throtle and we took full advantage of it. Our waitress was completely okay with it and just said if we wanted anything else to drink just let her know.

I ordered my usual fetticini alfredo and Ashley got a turkey burger which she enjoyed. I was less than thrilled with my choice. It tasted like it came out of a can that they heated up and tossed onto my plate. It could have used some garlic, cheese, and sun dried tomatoes. Their menu is less than inspiring offering nothing that set them apart from any other restaurant. The menu offers items such as spaghetti bolognese ($10.50), LA LA LA lasagna (13.00), King Crab legs ($29.00), grilled Atlantic salmon ($18.00), Rib-eye steak ($24.00), chicken picatta ($17.00), hot wings ($8.00 for a dozen), and pan fried crab cakes ($14.00) among other items.
Overall the place was fun, but the food was less then memorable and wasn't inspiring enough to make me want to go back. There are many other places that I would eat over this place.

Being from a small town in Pennsylvania the number one thing that my friends want to see when they come to see me in LA is movie stars. It's hard to explain but spotting a movie star isn't like going to the zoo and finding the zebra in its cage; its something that just happens. On the last day of my friend, Ashley's, trip out to California I had exhausted all of my usual star-spotting venues and had all but given up. Everyday she called her family and sadly answered no when they asked her if she saw anyone. Then it happened, at all places we could have seen someone, it was at Disneyland.
We had arrived at the park early that morning hoping to beat the Sunday afternoon crowd and score some fastpasses to Splash Mountain, since it was 9am and already 100 degrees. We walked around the park a little so that she could see what Disney had to offer before we went off to Splash Mountain. When we arrived the line for the fastpasses had a 15 minute wait in the sun. Things weren't looking so good. When we finally got ours Ashley looked like she was going to wilt. She looked at me and said "do you realize that in Pennsylvania it hasn't broken 70 degrees yet? I'm going to die." We walked over to one of the fruit stands for some shade and to find a drink when it happened. One of the cast members said "look it's Alec Baldwin!!!" Ashley suddenly perked up and looked like a Phoenix raising out of the ashes. "Oh my god, Sam, look! It's Alec Baldwin!" Being oblivious to everything I looked around not noticing anyone. She spun me around and standing two feet away sure enough was Alec Baldwin.
As she fumbled for her camera I said "let's follow him." Knowing that this is something that she would never forget. We keep our distance and followed him from Critter Country through Frontierland. Ashley pulled out her camera and not wanting to run up to him to ask for a picture we began to take pictures of ourselves in what we like to refer to as 'stalking Alec Baldwin.' We followed him for about 10 minutes until a cast member came out to greet him and he was swept off to Fantasyland. Ashely immediately pulled out her phone and called home. I could hear her mom on the other end screaming "Alec Baldwin!!!" I could only smile. Even though he isn't one of my favorite actors and after living in LA for two years I'm not nearly as starstruck as I use to be it was fun to see one of my friends experience her first celebrity sighting. After the phone call she turned to me and said "let's not talk about this until we leave the park. I like the idea that we are one of the few who know that he's in the park." And we were. Not many of the passersby recognized him and it became our running joke throughout the day.
Later that night we went through our photos. Many of which were of his back in the distance and one of us grinning stupidity. Even better were the close ups of people's faces in the photos that we snapped at the right time just as they recognized Alec Baldwin passing by them.
Disney is a place that I've visited so often that I have begun to miss that magic that the park creates or even the allure that Hollywood creates. I love visitors because they help you see the pleasures in the every day things. Disney and celebrity spotting are a common thing to me, but seeing it through the eyes of someone who are experiencing both for the first time created great memories for me that will last a life time.

Many images are conjured up when one hears "LA". Images of movie stars, perfect weather, and the beach are all part of that ideal. It is hard to deny that California's are beach goers, but unlike many places that I've visited there is a different feel that surrounds the beaches of So. Cal. I'm not trying to deny that LA doesn't have its fair share of beach loving tourists, but more often than not the beaches are packed with locals out for the day. This is not only reflected in the people that are there, but also in the shops and entertainment that populate the beach.
Walk in any direction long enough and the beach changes. My friend, Ashely, came to visit and was a little taken back when I told her that I couldn't pick one beach to go to so we would do three. I parked my car in a residential area to avoid all parking fees and headed to Santa Monica. Paths line the beach each with an areas for pedestrians and another area those with wheels (bikes, skates, unicycles, etc...). We were walking to Venice. Ashley looked at me like I was nuts, but I quickly explained to her that if you walk three miles in any direction you would hit three different beaches. Not so confident that I wasn't tricking her she sciently followed. The more trendy areas of Santa Monica faded away and quickly turned into the liberal, art infused madness of Venice. Immediately table after table popped up of art, jewelry, and god-knows-what sold by hippies and other people of interest. Acts of every sort dotted the side walks ranging from fortune tellers and knife jugglers to a bushman with a frying pan and a man yelling about the how the free masions ruled the world and he could prove it with the USD. On the opposite side of the street small, tacky tourist shops sell every type of LA, beach related statement that you can find. Although we spend a couple of hours lying on the beach next to the grafitti park watching the boats sailing next to my favorite breakers the real attraction is the people. Ashley and I spent the next couple of hours sitting under a palm tree next to the main drag watching the people who went by and listening to their conversations. My favorite moment that day was happening upon a Muscle Man competition. A pavilion was set up surrounded by photos and the general public snapping away pictures. When I made it through the crowd I saw an elderly gentleman with two older drag queens gushing over him. This was what was drawing the crowd.
When the vendors start to disappear and the unique houses that spot the coast start to appear it means that Marina Del Ray is near. I've never actually made it to the larger shopping area along the beach, but I always prefer to stop, just after the pier to lay out. This is the perfect quiet area. No loud attractions in a mainly residential area is the perfect place for a nap. It's also home to some of my favorite restaurants. Located on Marina del Ray Ave. Is a block of places that are so not worried about how trendy they are that they are ultra hot spots or as I like to put it they are "LA trendy". There is a great mix of Cuban, Italian, LA fusion, and bars that are so wacky that they are the perfect beach places to eat. Ashley walked around in awe. I made her choose where to eat. We picked The Terrace, a bright yellow restaurant covered in butterflies. We really lucked out and got seated right away due to someone missing their reservations. Sitting on the patio is a great place to people watch and see the locals and even some things being filmed as we ate.
Closer to sunset we began our walk back to Santa Monica. I'm not a huge fan of the beach finding it often over crowed therefore impossible to enjoy myself. Ashley and I pretty much ignored the pier and headed off to the third street promenade. This is where the real excitement is. This area is shut off to cars making it a pedestrian paradise and a shopping mecca. Stores like Urban Outfitters, Sopheria, and Apple line the streets with smaller botiques thrown in. In the streets, normally where cars would park, are amazing acts of those who aren't trying to make money as much as they are trying to make it big. Acrobats, singers, dancers, and child performers are everywhere with the occasional Hari Kershnia added into the mix. Not all of the acts are great, but are fun to watch. On the night that I was there I got to watch a group break dancing for god. They were bad and the moves were mainly from the 80's, but they were dedicated non the less. I watched with great amusement until Ashley couldn't take it anymore and pulled me away.