A Hazy Couple of Days in Amsterdam

There is so much depravity and shenanigans going on in Amsterdam, that depending on what you are into, there are plenty of fun and exciting things to do. While here, of course, you must hit up a smoke shop. Even if you don’t smoke, just to see the gluttony of vices being exploited here. If you are into smoking, these shops provide everything from the drugs to the pipes and other illicit material you can think of. There is also the Van Gogh museum; a staple for the art enthusiast or just the person who can appreciate nice pictures. The Red Light District is also an area where the lust of people’s vices is displayed like an ice cream sundae in front of hungry children with alcohol and drugs as their toppings. This neighborhood was a place that I am glad I saw, but was not for me. I wouldn’t really recommend it, but for some people, its heaven. Then, of course, there is the Heineken Brewery. Enough said on that one. And finally (as if there is a finally with regards to Amsterdam) there is the river which cuts through the city like veins flowing into the inner part of the city’s heart.

Quick Tips:

If you are into the whole museum kick and love eating out (and I don’t mean in the Red Light District) then there is something that I didn’t find out about until I was leaving Amsterdam, but wish I had gotten; the I AmSterdam Card (www.holland.com/amsterdam/gb/). This card is available on a 24 hour, 48 hour or 72 hour basis for either 33, 43 or 53 euros, respectively. This card allows you free admission into all of the Amsterdam museums and a 25% discount at most restaurants. It’s a damn good deal.

Best Way To Get Around:

I would, like most places, suggest walking around to really see the city. However, getting lost here, at least for me, was rather easy, so a map really helps. There are also trolley trains that run down the street and will take you all over this crescent shaped city for a couple of Euros. I also saw here for the first time, these folding bikes. Since most apartment building stairwells in Amsterdam are very narrow, someone came up with the idea of a folding bicycle that collapses to the size of a small tire. You can rent these all over the city and most people use bikes to get around anyway. There are more bike parking lots than car, it's really weird.

The Grasshopper, like most Amsterdam's coffee shops, is much more than a coffee shop. This places boasts itself as one of the best coffee/smoke shop in Amsterdam. I, however, felt a little differently, but still had a good time.

Now, while shopping for some clothes at the Greenwich Village Salvation Army shop, I came across a Grasshopper t-shirt with a grasshopper smoking a joint and relaxing. I thought that this was awesome and couldn't wait to go here, so it was only natural that I headed here while in Amsterdam.

When we got here, the place was filled with nothing but stoned tourists lazily sipping on their over priced coffees. I made a beeline for the front and purchased myself some amazing cannabis and lingered a little while to soak in the atmosphere. I tried to order a hot chocolate, but the price was in the range of like 6 euros (almost $10) for a 10-ounce cup that looked like a weak Swiss Miss packet, so I decided against it. I ran across the street and bought large water bottles for myself and my travel compadres.

Our tenture here was short lived because of the ever increasing crowd and the high (haha, sorry) prices. We grabbed our almost empty water bottles and made our way out into the hazy world of Amsterdam in search of a good meal, then preparing for the famed Red Light District. We had an evening planned and it was getting late.

So, if you find yourself in Amsterdam and are looking for a smoke shop, I would suggest this one solely because almost everyone who has been to Amsterdam has been here before. It always makes for good conversation later on when you all agree it was over priced and kind of dingy.

I mean there is so much to do in Amsterdam, that a pub atmosphere seems like it would not be high on the To Do list while in Amsterdam. However, this place is awesome!

I had heard about this place from my handy dandy Lonely Planet book and, as normal, they didn't leave me upset. Now, if you are looking for that crazy, trendy place with dance and trance music pulsating so hard that your heart starts to beat in faster waves, this isn't it. The Bamboo Bar is a great, run of the mill live music dive bar that is open until 5am! I mean, after floating around from bar, coffee house and back to bar, this was a nice change from the craziness that is Amsterdam's nightlife.

When we entered, the band was just starting its second of four sets (awesome, right?) and it was exactly what the doctor called for. The band that was up on stage was playing everything from rock and roll to old country and I even heard some pop music thrown in there. What was really crazy was when we were getting ready to leave (at 4:30am and the bar was still packed) we noticed a bartender from another bar we were at earlier hanging out at the bar. It turns out that the local bartenders come here after work for a nightcap and a quick check on the evening's band.

So, if you get a chance to head to Amsterdam and are looking for a fun bar to kill the night at, this is the place, trust me. Have fun!

I know what you are thinking. The city that is full of purveyors of pot, connoisseurs of cannabis and controllers of kink, what the hell could this guy write about that I haven’t heard already? Nothing at all. I am just going to inundate you with more tales of depravity and destruction but I’ll throw in a couple stories of fun and excitement.

Last year three friends and I set about on trip that traversed through the lands for Europe for a couple of weeks. On our travels we decided that we had no other choice than to make a stop in Amsterdam. Unlike most travelers, we didn’t stay in a hostel; we actually had a friend staying out of the actual city near the Heineken Stadium. If you have a chance to stay outside of the center of the city, PLEASE RECONSIDER. Outside of the city is very strange and if you do not have your wits about you, you can easily be robbed. I would recommend that you try to stay near the Red Light District area, but not directly in the heart of it.

On our first day, we went to the Van Gogh Museum (www3.vangoghmuseum.nl/vgm/index.jsp) located next to the large park in the center of the city. The museum was unfortunately closed the day we went (some stupid reconstruction stuff) so we made a day of it in the park. Right smack in the center of the park, there is a sculpture set up that reads "I Am Amsterdam." So we all got together, stood in front of different letters and did a couple of panoramic shots, so when we developed them, we could put them together and spell it out. But be careful in the park because the entire city is a biker’s city, meaning that people of bicycles are riding everywhere. They don’t care; they will run you over with out a second glance. I actually saw one of the coolest devices I have ever seen; a collapsible bike. This bike folds up around the small tires and is as big as a briefcase. Upon returning home, I saw this folding bike craze spread throughout New York like wildfire.

After our day in the park, we headed off to the Heineken Brewery. Please, if you are in Amsterdam, stop by this place, it's great. We then headed off the lurid back streets of Amsterdam to find the famous Grasshopper Coffee shop. The Grasshopper Coffee shop (www.coffeeshop.freeuk.com/Database/ShopsA/GrassHopper1.html) is the tourist hotspot for people who want legal pot. It is a bit on the pricy side, but the pot is great. You can borrow bowls, pipes, bongs or papers and just sit and have a good time. They also have seeds and large quantities. One thing that is really strange is they have these coins that you can buy as souvenirs that used to be used in Amsterdam to verify people were old enough to drink. They would buy these coins, then, when they were out, they would give these coins to the bartenders and the rest is history. You can see why this is no longer practiced because anyone could get a coin and then party.

We then walked over the many bridges that connect the crescent shaped city like a series of veins. On our travels, we came across the many impromptu street fairs and fresh fruit and plant markets that encompass this unique city. Along one of these street fairs, I noticed something very odd. On the outside of a building, there was a pulley system setup from the roof with a giant couch suspended from a rope. This system is applied on every house in Amsterdam because the houses are narrow, these hooks were setup to help people move their furniture in without having to worry about the stairs. It is really weird and I wish that my camera hadn’t died so I could have taken a picture of it, but when you’re there, you’ll see.

Our final night in Amsterdam was spent by having a sunlit boat ride on the river while hearing the history of this old and historic city. The guides are very informative and funny and it is totally worth the 20-euro fee. This included two drinks and then of course the tour. There are plenty of these boats around the city and you can grab one of these anywhere as long as you get there early enough. We then headed in the famous Red Light District. Here is one of the strangest and semi-uncomfortable neighborhoods I have ever been in. There are scores of women standing in windows with men walking in and out all night long with the curtains in front of this windows opening and closing like a public bathroom door. It is rather a disgusting sight to see because every man in the area seems to be ok with it because some were waiting for their friends to come out so they could go in. It's really a disgusting display, but maybe not for everyone. I wouldn’t want to rain on anyone’s parade, so if that’s your thing, enjoy. Please don’t let my opinion influence your feelings about Amsterdam. Otherwise this is a city filled with fun, drugs and even sex, so bring your smoking lungs, a plethora of condoms and a charged battery for your camera.

Talk about an experience! The Heineken Brewery Tour (www.heinekenexperience.com) is something that you should stop by and try. Even for those who are not drinkers the tour is great. The tour is cheap and very informative, followed by intense periods of drinking (and for those who don’t drink, I can guarantee that someone else would love to drink for you). The cost is 11 euros per person and the tour lasts for about an hour and a half or so. You are given five different tokens, four being for drinking and one for redemption of your free gift at the end. You are able to walk through the different brewing methods such as walking through empty brewing barrels, seeing the different ingredients in their different stages and then seeing the final products.

One part of the tour that is great is a ride that they have that explains how the beer became the beer that beer. You have to wait in line until your turn is up, but then they walk you into a room and there are three or four old wooden carriages stationed in front of giant TV screens. You are strapped in and then everyone leaves the room except for the strapped in souls. The carriages then have hydraulics that turn on and the carriages feel like they are really moving. It’s pretty cool. We then moved on to the videophone area where you can send video cards to friends and family from the factory. You can either send pictures or videos. The problem is that the line for the video messages is so freaking long that it is easier to send the picture message. The room is also a creative setup with an arched entrance lined with Heineken bottle caps and a Heineken keg drum set.

After spending almost an hour waiting for the videophone, we finally left and hit up the first bar on the tour, and guess what they serve! The next area is the advertising area. Here there are large comfy benches with TV’s propped above it with constantly looping advertisements that Heineken has played. You may have to wait a while for a chair since a lot of people fall asleep while watching and enjoying the air conditioning. But, after waiting and finally getting a chair, the ads are hilarious. They also explain the "smiling E" on the labels and how the president of the company did this to help enrich the beer and its image. (Look at a bottle next time and you will notice that the "e" is off centered to resemble a smile.)

The final attraction on the tour is the famed drinking den. The designers of the brewery were ingenious in their planning of the layout. They placed the bar right next door to the gift shop. You can get drunk and buy stuff you don’t need. And God knows I did. But back to the bar now. Here hoards of people line up with their remaining three tokens and try to get drinks. The bartenders pour thousands of gallons of beer in the matter of minutes and ask for your token in return for a glass of beer. However, when the place is really crazy, you can just keep walking up to the bar and grab as many as your hands can carry. This is exactly what we did until we were finished in the bar, then received our complimentary (although we paid for it in the admission fee) gift.

You can also ask people who aren’t drinker’s for their extra tokens and they gladly give them away because they have no idea what to do with these tokens otherwise. When you find yourself in Amsterdam, try to take some time and head over to the Heineken Brewery and have yourself a day. And don’t forget, it's better in Amsterdam than anywhere else in the world.