My approach to Panamá City was met with an expectation that travel information never quite seemed to incorporate with any merit. After all, this was a booming metropolis now frequently pronounced as "Latin America's most Cosmopolitan Capital". If the unconventional skyline was to be of any indication, there had to be more than what guidebooks and website reviews indicated; at least beyond expected ruins of the first city and impoverished hovel of the second.
Well, there was and now it's patent why most travelers landing at Tocumen International Airport simply pass through the capital, and keep right on going! That's the one luxury that Canal cruise ship passengers will likely be denied, but it doesn't necessarily mean that coming ashore will end-up feeling like fish out of water. If anything, the fabricated city is waiting just for them!
With one of the world's most bio diverse ecosystems sprawling across the countryside, the
green of Panamá City salutes an unsophisticated version of nouveau wealthy amidst a clamoring, destitute preponderance that cannot be ignored! Ambitious locals, propagated expats, and haughty tourists live high on the hog around the financial district of
El Cangrejo and lavish
Punta Paitilla, where pretentiousness are the main attractions.
Unless aspiring towards unachievable materialism from home, effect was like gagging on the silver spoon that's force-fed. By end of my stay, I could
almost justify the boorish bubble without wanting any part of the feast or famine, where crass and cheeky are offhandedly served as the main course. Otherwise, whether heading-out on your own or joining a City excursion group,
¡cuidese!Removed from dire reputations of historic areas, Panamá City's "other" attractions are distractions at best; Third World euphemisms masquerading as second-rate venues that even my Latino partialities couldn't excuse. Fortunately, admission fees were never more than but the greatest waste was time, better spent in other parts of the country.
Of these trenchant reviews,
Parque Nacional Metropolitano is the only one I would endorse, but even it pales in comparison with other National Parks less than an hour away. The city rendition has a superb
mirador overlooking the Capital chaos, where "escape" overshadows all else.
All things considered, perhaps there's good reason why foreigners remain sequestered within the counterfeit crowds; something just as easily accomplished by staying home! Honestly, regardless of how you find yourself in Panamá City, don't be surprised to end-up asking why?
Quick Tips:
Down-to-Earth Panamá CityWith limited information and guidebooks regarding Panamá,
Lonely Planet is the most popular and disputable; especially involving the capital. From the
moment of arriving, information was vague, inaccurate, or missing altogether. Greatest assets are the maps. Reviews list specifics to be aware of. Here's other things to keep in mind:
-- Popular attractions can be seen in one or two days, but plan for longer stays if exploring the nearby Canal and National Parks. Private or public transportation make these quite accessible, but accommodation options are limited in these areas.
-- Consider getting an early start with daily activities. Not only does this help beat the sweltering heat, heavy rains prevailed on most afternoons. Once clouds start brewing, there's about a 90-minute window before skies open, with need to take cover. By late afternoons, conditions had usually cleared-off.
-- Numerous attractions are clustered around
Plaza Cinco de Mayo; a snarl that takes gumption to navigate without even considering the derelict area. Overwhelming to say the least, I never found
Museo Afro-Antilleano or headquarters of the
Smithsonian Tropical Research Institute, which supposedly has a new wing dedicated to children and interactive displays regarding the environment.
By chance, I did pass by
Museo de Ciencias Naturales. As part of a residential district, the mini-mansion was obscure like the sign. "Think Small" when tracking museums, without expecting much help from locals. Also keep in mind that hours of operation, including for days closed, don't carry much weight - for anything!
Turning-Up the Heat...Pooped & Duped definitely stirred the pot of controversy for future travelers and tourists, but even more so for potential investors looking to permanently relocate. To no surprise, several exchanges have ran the gamut between the obvious and oblivious!
"Was it really that bad?" Compared to other places, Yes!
"But aren't there expat communities?" Yes.
How's your Spanish?
"Not so good."What did you think while visiting?
"We haven't actually been there yet".Well... Imagine trying to transfer and barricade hordes of "cheese" amidst a nest of rats, without them figuring out a way to become crumb snatchers. Can you really blame them, or the fat cats supposedly standing guard, that are just as hungry? Travelers and interlopers can expect all kinds of precautionary warnings and helpful suggestions from Panamanians. "Don't Feed the Animals" isn't one of them!
Best Way To Get Around:
Finding your way around Panamá City is an adventurous activity unto itself. Lay-out of the city along the arcing Bahía de Panamá is a confusing jumble of streets and avenues, where nothing runs in a true direction. It takes some doing just to first establish directional bearings before heading-out on your own. Here's other in-between basics:
-- For using public transportation,
Los Diablos Rojos are all part of the capital experience; a ride to anywhere never costing more than 25¢. However, activities in this journal are around the suburb perimeters where buses don't run. Specific details for getting there are within each review.
-- Licensed taxis carouse with frequency as do random Panamanians pulling-over to offer rides; shun the latter! Drivers quote rates based on how much they think you're willing to pay, though the farthest taxi zone for a local is .65. Let that be the measuring stick. Willingness to share rides with other passengers also helps determine cheaper fares. Be advised that most drivers speak limited English or none at all, and aren't much help for finding places beyond major attractions.
-- Make sure to carry passport and tourist card at all times, or risk getting hauled-in. Law enforcement and military patrol frequently converse with travelers to insure well-being, but have no interest in seeing copies of original documents.
Night on the Town...Panamá City's heralded nightlife proved scandalous and a bit much. As a solo traveler trying to enjoy a 40¢ beer in places around La Exposición neighborhood, solicitations for sex and drugs were constant and obnoxious. Discussing predicaments with a hotel security guard, he offered accompaniment to haunts of the seedy Santa Ana district on my last night.
The block-long pub crawl included five pitchers of beer,
Seco shots, pool games and pole dancers, and dinner for two at the corner cafeteria; all for under including round-trip transportation. Head still pounding on the flight home, I was gracious for chance to indulge the "real thing"; the only gringo in an area I wouldn't have even dared venture by day. Nevertheless, without a local escort, being out anywhere in public after dark is potentially asking for mischievous trouble, harassment, or worse.