Pooped and Duped in Panamá City

Opposites must attract because this country boy feels right at home in the city; especially those with a Latin persuasion. Some of my best experiences have evolved in greater metropolitan areas, and I was looking quite forward to six days in Panamá City. Little did I know that things would turn-out so frazzled and nerve-racking.

Panamá City might be Central America's premier capital, but current identity crisis only broadens gap between worsts of both worlds for the rich man and poor man. Founded in 1519 as storehouse for Spain's fortunes plundered from New World conquests, modern-day government is looking to restore wealth for the city and country. Panamá has become the world's latest banking center; to be on par with Switzerland, the Caymans, and other nations which aren't afraid to dirty their hands with money.

Flip-side of the golden goose is targeting global baby boomers while establishing Panamá as a favored retirement destination. How much money a person deposits determines the number of hoops they jump through for obtaining land, Visas and legal documents. Needless to say, the joint is jumpin'! Pristine eco-systems are being parceled-off at alarming rates, but no where is this disreputable boon more blatant than in Panamá City.


A congested skyline is erupting that could rival Manhattan, literally dividing the city. El Cangrejo might have started as the upscale financial district, but prestige and fortunes have swelled to Campo Allegre and Punta Paitilla, where waterfront condo towers are filling-up quicker than paint dries.

Travelers will likely feel right at-home in these fabricated neighborhoods dominated with expat-owned businesses, and indulgent hotel rooms averaging a night. In this city of one-million people, they're small prices to pay for sequestering within the minority while surrounded by the inescapable impoverished majority. I came looking for the authentic Panamá City, and probably found more than anyone's prepared for but guaranteed to encounter.


Panamanians push the limits with that Latino enigma that often drives foreigners insane! Lack of sensible reasoning not only dictates interactions, but also influences every component of operation that travelers depend upon. There's a long list of City attractions and opportunities to cover, but it helps to first have some bearings. I didn't, which not only frustrated too many situations, it also involved far too much risk.

Quick Tips:

In all Fairness
Consider beginning itineraries in Panamá City. After almost two weeks of blissful explorations through the peaceful countryside, concluding trip in the capitol only exacerbated harrowing rat-race, in the absolute filthiest city I've ever seen. Further hindering enjoyment was arriving during a Major Holiday, but I was also too physically exhausted to appreciate much of anything; little alone endure the sweltering city heat.

IGo Ghetto
Shoestring budget travelers can live it up on a day without jeopardizing safety. Most low-end listings are in extremely risky areas, but Pensión Las Palmeras is a sheltered alternative. For only a few dollars more with all the extras, I moved down the street to Hotel Latino. Even with splurges, a day more than covers everything while in the capitol.

Fame of Misfortune
Every city has higher levels of crime and mishap that warrants keeping your guard up. I thought Panamá City would be no different, but evidently I was wrong. What wasn't confirmed by daily headlines was heralded by well-meaning locals. Apparently, there was a lot more vulnerability than even my inner-city savvy detected or feared. Or was there? Something has struck fear within the local population and if not careful, you'll be victimized from good intentions without even knowing it.


Survivor Panamá
The hit reality show has filmed multiple seasons off-shore in the Pearl islands, but I'd venture to say the most gripping challenges of adventure and survival await in/around the capitol. My first journal of the series is stocked full of tips and key information for what to expect around the country, but the majority of "crunch situations" happened in Panamá City!

There's more English spoken in the capitol, but it's still hard to imagine how visitors can expect to function without some basic Spanish. I also highly recommend brushing-up on the Spending and Communication Trends review.

FOCUS Panamá
The official tourism publication is printed twice a year in English and Spanish. Beyond generic listings, glitzy advertisements, and in depth coverage trying to lure retirees and their nest eggs, pertinent travel information is buried to the rear under General Information. These are distributed free at most hotels, or copies can be preobtained through the website or by e-mail: focusint@sinfo.net.

Best Way To Get Around:

Since days of earliest explorers, confusion with directional bearings in Panamá have been documented issues. This continental bridge defies natural instinct the way it serpentines from west to east. 18-days in the country wasn't enough to reset my trusty inner-compass, Panamá City the first place I've ever been completely turned-around, and lost!


Positioned half-cocked along the arcing Bahía de Panamá, streets conform to the irregular shape and sprawl into a confusing maze. Nothing runs in a true, direct course. Making matters worse, major intersections have a way of looping around for back-door entrances.

Maps are helpful only to a certain degree. Most streets don't have markers, while thoroughfares might be known by two or three names. If trying to figure out walking and public transportation were any indicators, driving in Panamá City would be Locura Pura!

Vía España and Avenida Balboa/Av 6 Sur are two key, main passages through the city. Balboa runs along the waterfront. Other directional markers are skyline towards the northeast, and Cerro Ancón; the large hill to the southwest. Visibility of these help, though there's few direct ways for reaching either of them.


City buses, known as Los Diablos Rojos, are an experience unto themselves; so notorious that they'll soon be another thing of the passed. Rides to anywhere within the city never cost more than 25¢.

Plaza Cinco de Mayo is where Lonely Planet recommends catching public transportation for anywhere in the city. What it doesn't bother mentioning is how buses race through from every side, with no indication of direction they're headed, regardless of destinations listed on windshields. Avoid connections at this location until deciphering how arrivals/departures loop opposite in direction.

Taxis are probably the surest method; especially if you speak basic Spanish and are headed to recognizable destinations. Fares are supposed to be set by zones, but they'll charge a tourist whatever they think they can get! When riding with my local friend, farthest zone within the city was never more than .65. On my own, some requested +. Agree on a price before getting-in, and expect to pay more if unwilling to stop for other passengers.

Albrook Terminal is the National transportation center; details listed in this Getting Around section, and here's need to knows for Tocumen International Airport.

Shoestring travelers need look no further than Pensión Las Palmeras, for more reasons than just cheap. This place was clean and safe, which is more than I can say about any other budget listings in Panamá City.

Rooms, accommodating one/two people, cost $6 with shared bath; $8 for private facilities during the week. Prices spike $2 on weekends. Make sure you're comfortable with roommates if opting for private restrooms. Both toilet and shower are open, leaving little room for modesty. Otherwise, restrooms down the hall are small but adequate.

Getting what you pay for is give and take. Rooms are bare-bone basics at the very least, with soap and towels, fan, table, and the most comfortable bed I slept on my entire time in Panamá. Arriving at 2:30am on the first night, sleep beckoned without even undressing. It wasn't until following night I realized there was only a fitted-sheet, and nothing to crawl under! Undressed, it was very cool with the fan, almost to extreme of how sweltering the room was by day.

Las Palmeras insures security thanks to strictly inforced rules, and some rather busy-body desk clerks. No one is allowed beyond the lobby except paid guests. My friend wasn't even permitted to help carry luggage up the steps! I had #9 on the second floor, over-looking front porch. Ask for rooms in back of the house, and still consider ear-plugs. The concrete structure magnifies noise from street traffic, as well as catch-up gossip before the 6am shift change.

What's not found in the pensión is readily available across the street at Hospital Nacional. Payphone is off the main lobby, which also contains a morning bistro and gift shop/newstand. They sell a bit of everything except phonecards. Anyone can also dine in the cafeteria to rear of the top floor, which I surprisingly recommend for local specialties. On Good Friday, when everything else in the city was closed, I loaded-up a tray for under $4.

- Location: Off the corner of Calle 38 Este on Avenida Cuba, it's a convenient mid-way spot in the city, with quick walking access to Avenida Balboa and Vía España. The tranquil residencial neighborhood specializes in discrete seediness. From what I could tell, Palmeras was the only place not renting rooms by the hour. Upscale Residencial Jamaica next door, and scuzzy Pensión Cuba down the block, operate as nothing more in what locals call a Push.

- Security: Original plans were staying at Voyager International Hostal, located in an El Cangrejo high-rise. Too many travelers on the road complained of problems, and thefts from rooms. The majority of other budget listings are in risky Casco Viejo and southern La Exposición. At Palmeras, what's sacrificed on amenities is made-up for with safety, both inside and out.

- Reservations: 507-225-0811; Spanish only. Also, come prepared with small bills or exact change; they don't keep much cash on-hand. Credit cards are not accepted. Check-out time is 3pm.

After gallivanting around the countryside, I wasn't prepared to endure Panamá City. Between exhaustion and relentless city heat, a place that catered to laziness was definitely in order. After scouting around, Hotel Latino was worth the minimal splurge thanks to a pair of key factors.

Not only did they discount stays of two nights or more, they were the only area hotel which accepted credit cards; a major relief from running low on cash during the Easter holiday. The other unrivaled bonus was a roof-top swimming pool, shared with small parrots and exotic songbirds swooping in for a dip. Lunch dates with a bottle of Seco seduced the tranquil setting into solid afternoon siestas.

Sleeping conditions were even better for probably all the wrong reasons. Rooms not facing the streets don't have windows. Cave-like conditions is where things start to go downhill. Overhead air-conditioning was unadjustable. It didn't take long to become unbearably stuffy when shutting it off, but there wasn't nearly enough bedding for leaving it on. Still, I slept like a rock.

Hotel Latino is rather new, but everything appears heavily used and abused. Towel rack was lying on the shower floor; armoir door had a broken hinge. My room was on the top floor, and while heavy afternoon rains danced across the roof to enhance sleep, leaks soaked the hallway.

Whether from holiday or standard business, the hotel was full of local families. Unfortunately, they seemed to sleep all-day, and be up at night; noise echoing through the carpetless concrete structure. Security cameras are positioned everywhere, and room theft also wasn't a problem from maid service, because I had none.

Rooms are available with one or two double beds, and while my chamber was almost too spacious, I saw plenty of others that appeared cramped. A single goes for $20 a night, but I paid $17 with the extended stay rate. Doubles are $28, and three/four people runs $36 without discounts. Costs include the hotel tax; restaurant and room service prices don't. Budget travelers fare better with neighborhood eateries and markets.

- Location: The corner of Avenida Cuba and Calle 34 Este is in the same "Push"-Central neighborhood described for Pensión Las Palmeras. Limited English spoken; reservations aren't particularly necessary, but can be made by phone - 507-227-3395; or fax - 507-227-3092.

- Additional Services: There's a computer center with four battered machines; Internet service hit-and-miss as was availability. Free service is open to the public, including travelers from other hotels, I guess. Room phones are only for in-house calls. Payphones in the noisy lobby were usually busy. A taxi stand is out front.

- Recommended Alternatives: Hotel Bella Vista, on nearby Vía España, was better maintained and cleaner with a sterile hospital feel. Rooms start at $15, (507-264-4029). Hotel Venecia, on Avenida Perú/Calle 35, is more upscale boutique with $25-rates. (507-227-7881) Like Hotel Latino, these places are large enough travelers shouldn't notice hourly patrons.

When it comes to dining based on others' recommendations and reviews, good luck trying to find it! Most streets aren't marked with names, and buildings don't have numbers displayed. If restaurants aren't part of a recognizable complex or on major thoroughfares, don't expect much help from cabbies or even pedestrians. Not to worry. Panamanians seem to have recognized and solved the problems insuring no one goes hungry.

Between actual establishments and sidewalk stands, Panamá City had more eating opportunities than about anywhere ever ventured. When hunger strikes, there's always something within view to satisfy impulse cravings.

Budget travelers will feast while in Panamá City, where cafeteria-style eateries are located on every block within business districts. Multi-course meals rarely break $4, even when loading-up! Here's descriptions on what to expect with selections, but these were hardly the limits.


In active neighborhoods, sidewalks are also jammed with make-shift food stands which help accommodate 9-to-5 traffic. Whether eating on the run or bellying-up to the counter, tempting aromas will at least feed curiosities the way food is prepped as part of the attraction. Selections within stalls might be limited, but opportunities are not. Even better, prices are cheaper than cafeterias!


Rounding-out the sidewalk circus of glut are individual vendors hawking street treats. The gut-bomb affect has nothing to do with sanitation. Between pastries, candies, drinks, fruits, and fried/grilled items inhaled with the heat, indigestion from over-eating is hard not to swallow.

There's no shortage of American restaurant chains; especially involving fast-foods. In many neighborhoods, these become the late-night options but there's more than the King and the Clown. Pío Pío is the local version of KFC I wandered into on Good Friday, and proceeded to visit daily. Eating my fill averaged $3 with drink; unlikely recommendation is the ketchup!

At the Albrook complex, there's a food court in the mall, and a pair of others anchoring main passage of the Transportation Center. Local specialty chains are mingled with fast-food favorites, including Dunkin' Donuts. Expect to pay more than within the city. Also, there's deli-type bakery shops across from departure gates. Be advised that amid the rush, I was grossly over-charged in these places compared to marked prices.

-- If looking for standard dining, I suggest the Causeway at night, or wandering around El Cangrejo and surrounding upscale districts. There's numerous expat-owned restaurants with ethnic and continental menus within the maze of unrecoverable streets. Fine-dining restaurants are bargains compared to developed nations, ranging from moderate to inexpensive by most standards, but still pricey compared to rest of the city.

-- In local eateries, tax is figured into cost. In hotels, tax is included in room rates but not restaurants or room service prices.

-- Tipping is customary in restaurants, but not cafeterias or street venues.

Arriving in Panamá City at 2:30am on Good Friday, the taxi whizzed through a maze of empty streets and red-light intersections with nothing to fear. Lucho was busy spouting instructions for reconnecting on Saturday, but was also reluctant to abandon me at a hotel he wasn't acquainted with. Playing the good host involved surveying the neighborhood before flying up steps to inquisition the night clerk.

Sometimes, fussiness of typical Latin hospitality can wear a little thin even under the best intentions. Lucho continued with the do's and don'ts while repeatedly referencing hospital across the street; just "in case" of emergency. Perhaps I'd shared too many stories about previous travel escapades, and precautions were necessary for preventing another.

The following day, interchange with the desk lady was a little berating about thoughtlessness of going out with my black leather backpack. Preparing to leave it in the room, pulling out camera caused an even greater flurry of commotion. It was determined camera was safer concealed in the backpack; pleadings to be careful blessed with a quick incantation.

Here I was on this Holy day, ready to curse Lucho for converting my hotel crew into meddlesome babysitters. Stopping to ask directions, a security guard pointed towards downtown but quickly diverted my path to what was "said" to be safer.

Everything was closed for the holiday; streets abandoned just like on the mid-night arrival. Yet every person I did pass seemed to have some type of caution or warning about being in the streets. Lucho couldn't possibly have persuaded the entire city, but I was getting highly annoyed and rather defensive until uneasiness began to stir.

What did these people know that I didn't? Had vulnerability risen without additional safety in numbers, or would risks escalate when everyone returned from the holiday? Come Monday, more people only meant more precautionary warnings. Truth be told, travelers need to prepare for these as much as actual risks--whatever those might be.

Paranoia will Destroya
It's been less than 20-years since the U.S launched a small-scale war which ousted Manuel Noriega, and tore-up Panamá City in the process. Chronicles way depending upon which side of the story is being told. I wanted to hear local perspectives, but got very little.

Lucho eventually told some childhood memories about hiding for days with his family, prepared to flee the country based on his father's influential occupation. Biggest confession was never giving the entire ordeal much thought. It's part of the local conditioning; survival mode well-rehearsed by everyone.

Latin America has been plagued with dictatorship regimes, where anyone even suspected of opposition simply vanished off face of the earth. Democracy might have been restored in Panamá, but lifestyles are still crippled by real beliefs that unknown peril awaits at any moment! Panamá City does have plenty of high-alert areas, but locals could easily intimidate travelers into venturing nothing. For the most part, there's nothing to fear but fear itself!


Some might find the heavy presence of military and police disturbing. Dressed in camouflage and toting high-powered rifles, they were everywhere but do not be dismayed. Take comfort in the added security, and expect to be frequently questioned or cautioned in the name of well-being.

Whether it's part of the legacy or trying to build Panamá as a safe and desirable destination, officials and pedestrians are tripping over themselves to insure travelers have no problems. And trust me--they take this hospitality obligation quite seriously, if not to extreme.

By law, foreigners are required to carry passport and tourist card with them at all times. With street theft always a possibility, I carried photocopies until questioned by an officer one night. Luckily, I was near my hotel and offered to quickly retrieve originals. The situation was difused, but stern warning issued was that anyone not possessing appropriate documents could be taken off to prison. Based on the number of paddy wagons toolin' around, they mean business!

On-the-Make; Forbidden Opportunities
Regardless of where you venture in the city, here's something to expect and prepare for: Panamanians are rather bold in their approaches, that involve more than just safety precautions. Solicitations for innumerable reasons are inevitable; harmless yet brazen as they often were. Actually, it brings all their warnings full-circle, whether from a guilty conscious or knowing others' capabilities.

There seems to be a love-hate fascination with Americans and the U.S. presence involving the canal over the last century. It's the "lovers" you'll need to watch-out for! The infamous Latin libido is alive and well in Panamá City, and the first tell-tale sign will be trying to find accommodations that don't also rent rooms by the hour.

A "Push" is defined in this Review. Discretion should spare modest foreigners the blushing shock, but its happening everywhere. Away from El Cangrejo's upscale hotels, many of the city's other establishments operate on this sole purpose while also booking legitimate travelers.

Neighboring improprieties can be disregarded inside hotel rooms, but not within the streets -- especially for single male or female travelers. Being out at night was open invitation for propositions, including drugs; the other illicit hot commodity. At no point did I ever feel insulted or intimidated, but the repeat advancements became obnoxious when dispersed amid do-gooders warnings and advice.

While there's plenty of local homeless loitering around, beggars are in the form of down-and-out gringos; usually younger junky-types that have obviously lost their way. Don't be fooled by the clean-cut appearance! The well-rehearsed, fast-talking excuses are a load of crap that a couple of dollars won't solve.

A Panamanian never specifically asked for money, including the slut-factor, but legitimate offers were made involving standard services; especially regarding transportation. When walking day or night, expect people to pull over offering rides at the very least. Taxis come in all shapes and colors, but have very tell-tale signs (or lights) of authenticity.

While I never would've accepted a roadside offer, hotel employees were almost too eager to drive me to the airport for half the cost of a taxi. It seemed harmless enough to agree while understanding Latinos are always trying to make an extra buck. They were quick to emphasize how dangerous the corner bus-stop would be at 4:30am; probably no more risky than riding off in the dark with a total stranger! Gut instinct dodged them all by leaving 30-minutes early, and paying extra for a taxi.

Tourist Traps
Thanks to the average wage paying $1.25 an hour, the majority of people are extremely impoverished. Offensive filthiness of the city only heightens the horror. Public transportation peruses through some menacing-looking areas you'd never see otherwise. Let these be wake-up calls, especially for top attractions explorable only on-foot.

Travel information warns about going too far around ruins of Panamá Vieja. Quite honestly, the area didn't look or feel that bad. Transportation drop-off/pick-up is at the entrance, so roaming isn't necessary. There's no need to venture towards residential borders hemming expansive lawns of the site. Exploring Casco Viejo is a very different story, though it shouldn't be missed or avoided.

This area was fascinating on many levels; especially to see historic buildings refashioned in full-glory by wealthy investors, but there's still a long-way to go. Over the last century, this entire area has decayed as a housing slum; part of the intrigue and also part of the problem!

Aside from law and military, these gritty streets also have heavy presence of tourist police and guides that will not hesitate to redirect paths if venturing towards the wrong places. Well-meaning locals jump-in just as quickly; especially when seeing cameras or sense vulnerability or weaknesses within tourists.


Sidewalks and corners are filled with riff-raff types directed by look-outs on overhead balconies. Heart of the historic district isn't as dangerous as surrounding areas, but it's still not a place to go wandering about cluelessly. Arriving/departing using taxis minimizes risks; walkers should use common sense, awareness, and heed locals' advice.

From Plaza Cinco de Mayo, Avenida Central becomes a pedestrianized walkway slicing through the shopping district of Calidonia and Santa Ana. Pickpockets could be waiting amid the masses, but greater risks would be venturing down side streets.


When coming to Parque Santa Ana, this plaza became uncomfortable thanks to psychotic-type homeless, very anti-tourist. Where the busy intersection fans in six directions, pin-point Café Coca Cola. Avenida Central, and the direct way to Casco Viejo is on the left. Venturing right is not only risky, you'll quickly get escorted out by the g