Sooo--WEEE City

If you can, plan your trip for late July/early September -- the Rivercade Festival takes place at Chataqua Park, and it's the best fun of the year.

If you will be there other times of the year, do take time to see the waterfront park, KD Station, and the new 4th Street Historical District. Wander around and you'll find interesting shops tucked away in places that look incongruent to the surrounding areas. And you have to eat at Steven's Tasty In and Out.

Quick Tips:

It is -cold- here from October to May, sometimes longer than that. Bring appropriate clothing.

Things are less expensive than in a larger city, but since Sioux City would like to think of itself as a metropolis, it's nowhere near as cheap as travelling to a smaller town. Hotels will be cheaper in South Sioux City (in Nebraska) than in Sioux City proper, as will most other amenities.

Best Way To Get Around:

Though there is public transportation, it is frequented by very strange people. (You think I'm kidding? My last trip I was sitting behind a very large man in a hat that said "EAT BEEF" and was regaled by his discussion of Charro's breasts. Rent a car.) Taxis are available, but expensive, since everything is very spread out over the farmlands.

There is nothing more decadent in Sioux City than lunch at Minerva's. The prices are right (lunch is much more reasonable than dinner, with comparable portion sizes), the food is incredible, and the tirimisu is the best I've ever had. Ever. And I've been to some pretty great restaurants.

The inside of Minerva's looks like a combination of IKEA and a Tuscan winery. Everything is wood from the floors to the ceilings, and wine-colored accent pieces with greenery makes you feel transported. It could be below-zero outside, and it wouldn't matter in here -- the open wood-burning stove and dimmed lights set so great of a mood that you won't care what's outside.

The menu features a lot of processed gourmet items. If you've been to other Tuscan restaurants (Mario's in Riverside, CA comes to mind), the food here will seem a bit bland and white-bread. If this is your first time, though, you'll be blown away.

Things you must order:

• The crab-artichoke dip appetizer. Served with fresh bread and crackers. Incredible.
• The house salad, which is anything but plain greens. Olives, italian salami, great dressing.
• Seafood fettuccini, which includes sun-dried tomatores and amazing pasta.
• The infamous tirimisu, which has a custard-type topping instead of whipped cream. I'm drooling just thinking about it.

You'll need reservations at night, but during the day, it's pretty sparse until happy hour. This, to me, is easily the best place to eat in the city.

Compared with the coffeehouses of Portland and Seattle (where, according to local legend, the Daily Grind got its inspiration), this place falls just a little flat. It's attempts at west-coast hip have been tempered with midwest flair. For the region, however, it's one of the best for those suffering from a serious culture shock.

The Daily Grind has a decently full menu of coffee-based drinks (many of them are very sweet, be careful when adding sugar), and a list of sandwiches based on local streets. (The Upper 4th, for instance, is turkey with cranberry sauce, a supposed nod to the culture of the area of town, while the Nebraska Street is Roast Beef since the actual Nebraska Street is where the stockyards are. Kitschy, to say the least, though marketing may be difficult.)

For the area, the place is razor's edge -- they just got chai, for instance, for those looking for the next big thing in beverage consumption. Don't mention to the real M. Coy behind the counter that it's old news elsewhere. She gives withering looks that could put a chill on Hell.

Prices are reasonable for the area -- again, Sioux City is trying to assert itself as a megalopolis on the plains, and prices things accordingly. Persons from the coastal areas will find them roughly comparable to city prices, $6 for a sandwich, $4 for large drinks.

While staying in Sioux City, this is a reasonable facsimile to a coffeehouse, though it's not someplace to travel cross-country to see.

The Karousel is one of those places that looks like it might possibly have been stolen from 1950's Las Vegas, transported to the middle of nowhere, and dropped off for the duration of its life. The building itself is round, with large carousel horses of fiberglass around the perimeter, and a circus-like atmosphere inside. It is the quintessential greasy spoon -- if you ask for something vegetarian or something that's not deep fat fried from the overmade-up and past-their-prime waitresses, they're likely to bring you plain white bread and water.

This place is a Sioux City tradition. After a long night of drinking and line dancing, retiring to the Karousel (which is, of course, 24 hours) to have breakfast is as normal as brushing your teeth in the mornings. It's just something you do. (Though the opening of the 24-hour Perkins downtown has cut into its business somewhat.)

Prices are reasonable, but high for the area. You can easily spend $8 or $9 on breakfast, which is nearly unheard of in this part of the country. Since the majority of the business comes from the heavily-inebriated and the night-owl set though, there is little complaint.

While here, do try the club sandwich. It is fried in butter, but has less grease than, say, the burgers, and tastes like nothing you've ever had before.

Must be the corn-fed beef.

KD Station started life in 1918. The hulking building was a meat packing plant until destroyed by a large explosion that took several lives in the 1920's. There it sat, mostly dormant and used for various city purposes until recent years, when it was reclaimed as a historical landmark and turned into what all financially-viable landmarks have: a mall.

Actually, that's not completely true: KD Station is trying to be a family fun center, with displays about history to make it educational. There's miniature golf, a great costume shop, an area-4-star mexican restaurant, a blues club in the basement, and even a bowling alley. (Each is owned separately, so you'll have to pay separately, which is a pain if you've got several kids or a lot of time to kill.)

The problem I've always had with KD Station is simple: it's creepy. I mean give-you-goosebumps creepy. The displays on the wall of the time after the explosion include other artifacts like disembodied men's shoes that were knocked off dead men by the explosion. Parts of the building are uninhabited, and the elevator makes strange sounds. Great for a visit on Halloween, but for a first date, this place would be like taking her to a well-kept morgue.

Once they've developed it a bit more, gotten better lighting, and sealed off the old blast zones, KD station is going to be a great asset to Sioux City. Right now, though, it falls just a bit creepily short.

Back in 1972, when Uncle John was founded in a little shop way out of the way off Hamilton, it's founders wanted to bring a little of the spirit of San Francisco Hippy back to the sleepy Sioux City. There were two parts to the business and the building -- a side that sold records and 8-track tapes, and another that sold everything from tie-dye to psychadelic blacklight posters. And bongs. But that's beside the point.

Up until the recent move of Uncle John to the new (and very hip) historic 4th street district, the store remained the same. With the addition of CDs instead of 8-tracks, of course. A mural on the ceiling was added to occasionally, showing the greatest rock artists of all time around the perimeter. The other side of the shop sold t-shirts and incense instead of drug parphenalia (and even a little bit of that anyway, with the disclaimer that it was for legal tobacco use only. Of course.)

Now that the move has taken place, all the character that once had this little shop wrapped up in charm has started to dissipate a little. Instead of creaky wooden floors and crumbling plaster, there's shining high-gloss floors and a coffee bar. They still sell all the same merchandise, but without the closed-in cramped feeling and the $1-for-4-strip photo booth in the corner, it feels more like a watered-down, trying-to-be-hip Borders Books, selling only music.

I still love this place, but I love it for what it -was-, not for what it is. As a standalone, a visitor would probably still find it to be one of the best places for style in Sioux City (they're so retro, they're hip), but for those of us who knew the Uncle John of before...this is a greyed-out trip.

Behind a darkened-glass, pink-triangled door that seems nondescript is Kings and Queens -- the best gay club in Sioux City, IA.

The music is always loud, the drinks aren't watered down, and there's pool tables and video games for the ones too shy to dance. Unlike some of the big-city gay clubs, there's not a huge overtone of sexuality -- it's all about having fun and drinking until the bar owner can buy a boat.

The best part is that there are always activities going on here. My friend Mark (the person I hung out here with) dragged me there at least twice a week (it wasn't much of a struggle) for things like bikini jello wrestling and midwest drag show finals. For some of these events, there may be a small cover -- never more than $5 in the whole time I was here.

The atmosphere is relaxed, and the people are great. I'd recommend this as a place to go at night for anyone -- gay or straight.