The Korean barbecue is not like most other restaurant experiences. It has become so popular in both Asia and the U.S. that many other restaurants, often Japanese places, will have barbecue tables at them. The basic idea is that you cook the meat yourself, which sounds like a really dumb thing to pay money for until you try it. I was a skeptic until that first piece of galbi hit my tastebuds and now here I am writing an IgoUgo journal dedicated entirely to Korean food.
The meal usually starts with panjan (side dishes). The exact dishes depend on what restaurant you visit, the time of year, and what the server feels like bringing over (order and consistency are not traditional Korean values). You just dig in with your chopsticks and everyone shares things communally. After a few minutes of trying to figure out how to eat writhing octopus tentacles with flat metal chopsticks (I actually had this as a side dish in Korea. It's weird), the meat comes out. You just put some on the grill and take it off when you think it's ready.
The way you eat it is to take the meat and some rice and put it on a lettuce leaf, wrap it up, and pop it into your mouth. A common faux pas is to make the wrap too big for one bite. One bite is the goal. A spicy red paste is often added (either gochu-jang, which is pepper paste, or dwen-jang, which is soybean paste), and some people will add a slice of garlic or a piece of gochu (green pepper). Be careful about throwing the word "gochu" around too much, as it has a second meaning that isn't the kind of thing to post to a travel website. Some places give you a green, stringy salad-looking dish. This is meant to be added to a barbecue wrap and not eaten on its own. Don't worry, we all made that mistake and got laughed at by our friends, too.
There are probably three main types of barbecue that encompass the majority of most non-Koreans' BBQ experiences. The first is galbi. Typically the most expensive, this is made from short ribs (galbi literally means "ribs") and is strips of meat marinated in a sauce. The sauce is usually soy sauce, sesame oil (which gives it its flavor), a dash of black pepper, some shaved garlic, and some sugar (or brown sugar) to give it some sweetness. You can actually make this fairly easily at home, and can experiment with your own additions. Rubbing the meat with kiwi is also suggested to tenderize it. Galbi barbecue is far and away the most popular in Koreatown, and it goes very well with beer.
The next is bulgogi (means: "fire meat"). This is pieces of brisket marinated overnight in a special sauce (different from galbi sauce). It's usually cooked and served with slices of onion and green pepper. Bulgogi is just as often served as a dish as a barbecue and serves as a great introduction to Korean food for Westerners.
The last kind of barbecue that you will find is sam-gyap-sal, which is pork. The nature of pork means that it's grilled differently than beef. When you take it off the grill, you typically dip it in a sauce (called sogum-jang or kil-um-jang, and it's sesame oil and salt mixed in a little dish). This is an easy dish to make at home. You don't often see Westerners eating sam-gyap-sal (and you would see even fewer if they knew the literal translation of "sam-gyap-sal"), especially here in New York. I've only ever had this at home and in Korea. It's cheaper than beef barbecues, and Koreans often start their evening with sam-gyap-sal and soju (which is a GREAT combination if your intention is to get rocked, barf in the bathroom, and then screech into a microphone at a no-rae-bang or dance the night away in a nightclub in Hongdae...trust me, it makes sense in Korea).
Again, the meat just communally cooks in the middle of the table and you reach in and grab what you want. It's not considered rude to do this. It's also considered a sign of affection to take a few pieces of meat and put them on someone else's plate. Many things in Korean culture center around food (this happens when a country was the poorest country on Earth just 50 years ago after the Korean War), and you can score points with your Korean friends, girlfriend or boyfriend, or friends' parents. Just don't do it too much or you'll go hungry. There is typically a lot of drinking that goes on during dinner, especially barbecues, and I'll go into that in another entry but some quick tips would be: don't pour your own alcohol, and try to take a drink during the "socials" that are frequent. Make sure your friends like to drink, and if they do you'll earn some cool points by at least making the effort to drink at about the same rate that they are.
After dinner, it's common Korean custom to aggressively fight over the check. I've seen drunk Korean grandfathers look like they were about to engage in light- to medium- fisticuffs to see who got to pay the bill. This is okay and is an indication of friendship and respect. Typically, the person of highest "rank" (this is an important concept in Korean culture and even affects the grammar that you use) is supposed to pay, but it's good for the lower rank people to muscle in sometimes and pay for the food.
Especially in Korea, unless your plans were specifically to meet for dinner and then go home, expect the night to continue on if you're with people about your own age. Common after dinner activities include no-rae-bang (karaoke rooms occupied by just you and your group. Alcohol is easily bought from the owner of the bang and is usually not that expensive. Snacks are also available for marathon no-rae-bang sessions), dancing at nightclubs, hanging out and drinking more at a Hof (bar) or convenience store (beer and liquor are sold at convenience stores and they often have tables set up outside for drinking), or visiting booking clubs (this could probably be its own journal entry, but they're basically expensive lounge/nightclubs where singles go to mix with the opposite gender. They're much stranger than that and tend to make foreigners uncomfortable, but if you understand Korean culture they make a lot more sense and don't seem so creepy).
Here in New York, the Korean barbecue is a fantastic way to start your evening or to cap off an afternoon with friends. It's fun, and it's exotic to many people.