Alice Springs – Say G’Day and G’Bye

I hate to say it, but I thought that this tiny little town in the Outback should’ve been left off the itinerary for my tour – at least not an overnight-stay town. Trouble is, it’s so far away from anything else (5 hours from Uluru.) I think we could’ve flown there in the morning, looked around in the a.m., and then driven to Uluru the same day. There’s just not enough to keep you busy for more than a day, and the hotel here was the worst we stayed in. (And it was the “best” in Alice Springs. I’d hate to see the worst.)

That said, there were some interesting things to see here. The Royal Flying Doctor Service, was interesting to see, as was the School of the Air. However, both tours take under an hour each, so it’s not like I would recommend going out of your way to get here and see them. The Telegraph Station was the sole reason that little ol’ Alice Springs was there, and was also an interesting self-guided tour. Still, it was a tour that would take under an hour, so not some huge attraction.

The most fun I had in Alice Springs was at the Bojangles Saloon. The bus pulled up on the one main street in the town, and our driver told us to choose from the restaurants on the street, but not to all go to the same one and overwhelm them, because the service would be really slow. Five of us had seen the swinging doors from the bus, and made a beeline to the saloon. It was the coolest place, with boots on the ceiling and cowhide seats. Not to mention the subtle jokes on the tourists – it was a great deal of Outback fun.

Quick Tips:

The flies in the Outback are unmanageable, so consider a fly net hat. I thought the cork hats (brim hats with corks hanging off that essentially “shoo” the flies away) were a bit more fashion forward, and you could eat or drink without having to remove a net. I managed two days without anything, but I was nearing one of these corny purchases more and more each day. I did manage to survive with just the wave of my hand (the Australian salute), but that got old really fast.

Read other journals from my Australia trip:
Sydney (Where I spent New Years Eve!) | Melbourne | Uluru | Cairns

Best Way To Get Around:

Walking is the quickest way, but take water--it's HOT!

When the tour guide told us that the Alice Springs Resort was the best hotel in Alice Springs, I began to wonder about the other poor souls staying in the sub-par accommodations. This hotel was listed at four and a half stars, but I think someone accidentally put the four stars in front of the half.

I’d liken this hotel to a Motel 6 in the States, and if it was the best, I’d have hated to see the worst. The rooms all had this awful smell to them – I couldn’t stay in the first room for very long before wanting to gag. I was told to open the windows and air it out – but the only ventilation was these little sliding windows above the big glass lookout window – not enough to ventilate a room. So we were given a room with a sliding glass door so we could open it up and air out the smell (which never really did leave, it just lessened with time.) Instead of the two double beds that the first one had, this one had one double and one single. Since I had been paired with a roommate to avoid the tour’s single supplement, and it was my fault we were changing rooms, I got the short end of the stick with the single bed.

It really didn’t matter, as the beds were hard and uncomfortable. Not only were two women guests given a room with a sliding door on the first floor right on the main walkway (I didn’t feel at all safe), we were given the handicapped accessible room, which meant taking a shower became an exercise in maneuverability. (It was made for sitting down, not for standing up.)

There was a pool/hole in the ground with some water in it, if you were interested in swimming in chlorine-heavy water.

The one redeeming quality of this hotel was its restaurant. The meal there was very good, as were the buffet breakfasts (normally $25-$35 extra when not on the tour.)

Alice Springs is an interesting town in the heart of the Outback, miles away from anything – including a good hotel room. If you’ve gotta see Alice Springs, might I suggest enduring a long drive in and then turning right around for a long drive out.

The Web site suggests that rates start around $150 a night, but I’d rather spend that money on a plane ticket out.

It was an awful place, and as a point of reference, at least two couples on the tour with me agreed. A camper would be better! I took no photos, as I was so disgusted, and didn't want to remember it at all.

I had the most fun lunching in the Bojangles Saloon, located on the main strip (and there’s really only one) of Alice Springs. If the swinging doors don’t pique your interest, check out the saddle seats at the bar, or the cowhide bench seats, or the boots that are nailed to the ceiling as if someone was dancing up there and just fell out of them.

Order at the bar and then take a seat and look around. Oh, and make sure to go to the washroom first, if you can get in! The “hinges” are painted on the side of the door that opens, so you push and push to get in until one of the locals takes pity on you and let’s you in on the gag. Once you’re inside, however, you’re on your own to find out which faucet the water is going to come out of. It makes no sense, but it’s loads of fun! Darn, I just ruined the local’s fun for the next time. Pretend to be stuck, make them happy.

While waiting for the food (and you’ll wait a while, it’s hot, and they’re in no hurry), check out the snake display in the glass case. Go ahead, fall for it – put some money in to make the snake move. (There are real ones in there, though.)

There are a lot of choices on the menu, and I was in a nachos mood that afternoon. When the bowl arrived at the table, I’d have needed me and a dozen hungry dingos to finish off the lot, but it was fun giving it a go anyway.

The place even has a webcam, and broadcasts stage acts 7 nights a week.

The food was decent (though I thought pricey, but then, so was everywhere else)and the ambiance was loads of fun. I’d highly recommend this saloon for anyone who wants to have a great time!

The majority of Australians live along the coastal areas of the country, leaving the red interior sparsely populated. So how do you go to school when the closest farm is 15,000 acres away, much less the closest children? Grab a CB radio (and now the Internet) and a pen and paper – there might be a test later.

Students between the ages of 4 to 13 years who live on cattle stations (farms), national parks, and even Aboriginal communities participate with a teacher via radio and Internet (though it was just the radio up until a few years ago). Tours are given in this two-room building (starting with a short video) as visitors can see a live class in action. Not only are they taught the basics, but music instruction is part of the syllabus as well.

Families with children pay $300 a year to cover the costs of the schooling, and all of their equipment is provided to them (satellites, etc.) The family is also required to hire an in-house tutor to compliment the radio studies. The schooling, in addition to helping the children learn, was also intended as a social tool. Children who might only have kangaroos as playmates come to the school once a year to gather and socialize. Best friends are often positioned hundreds of miles apart.

The admission charge is $4, and the school is open for visitors from 8:30a.m.-4:30p.m. most days, with afternoon hours only on Sundays. The admission goes towards helping with the school’s costs, as does the small gift center.

If you’re in Alice Springs, the school is worth a visit. It shouldn’t take much more than an hour out of your itinerary, and it gives you an idea of just how vast the red center of Australia really is. (They broadcast over 1.3 million square kilometers of space.)

www.assoa.nt.edu.au

In Australia, medical care is a free service to its citizens, and the system doesn’t allow mere distance to stand in its way.

Injury on a cattle station? Baby due in a national park? Break your leg in a car accident on a remote Outback road? Never fear! The Royal Flying Doctor Service is here!

Swooping out of the sky in either a turbo-prop King Air or a single-prop PC-12 (both large enough for a doctor, a nurse and a patient) the medical team of the Royal Flying Doctor Service often risks their own safety to save their fellow countrymen.

There are radio stations positioned around the country, including this one in Alice Springs, where a dispatcher takes the calls that come in. A priority-one is life-threatening and requires a doctor and a nurse. A priority-two may not require a doctor, but a nurse will respond. Radio consultations are also offered. Medical packets containing numbered medicines are sent throughout the remote locations in the Outback. Have a headache? Take two of the pills in pack 15 and call me in the morning. Food Poisoning? You’ll want what’s found in pack 3. No one but the doctors and nurses knows what the medicine in each pack is for.

I was fascinated by this operation, and the dedication of the doctors and pilots. If there’s an airstrip (and most cattle stations build one first thing) – whether it’s paved or not – the pilot knows that a life could be at stake and does his best to land the plane.

If you’re in the area, drop on in. There’s an excellent gift shop and café with cakes and coffees (though I’m still astounded that anyone drinks hot coffee in 110-degrees). It’s air-conditioned, and you’ll learn a thing or two while you cool off.

The sole reason for the existence of a town at the location of Alice Springs was the need for a midway station on the Overland Telegraph Line from Darwin in the north, to Adelaide in the south. Previously, news of births, deaths, and world events would take months to travel by sea. With this station, now it took only hours.

But as a source of information, the station was isolated. It took the people that were stationed here six months to travel here over some of the harshest land this planet has to offer (populated by lots of critters that would as soon kill you as look at you. Even the plants could get you!) They would then stay and work there six months and spend the next six months traveling back home. Now there’s dedication.

This is one of the most well-preserved stations, and the Parks Service tries to maintain it as it would’ve been in the early 1900s. At that time, the station had a blacksmith, the station master, a cook and the telegraph operators.

The tour of the telegraph station is a self-guided walk. You’re given a map in the gift shop (as well as a chance to buy a fly net. The flies are unbelievable!) It reminded me a lot of what I saw on Little House on the Prairie, except hotter and with a dry river.

This is a very interesting stop while in Alice Springs. Count on about an hour here. The stop was included on my tour, so I don’t know the admission price, but as part of the Park Service, I’d wager it was little to no cost.