Lemmee Hear You Say, "EEEEWWWWW" The title is no exaggeration, folks. I have been working in Redding the last few weeks and have had the pleasure of discovering some new favorite spots. I am adventurous by nature, so last night, after a grueling 13-hour work day, I decide on the spur of the moment to book a room online and spend the night rather than face 2 hours of freeway traffic home.
Normally I book through my favorite opaque website, but at 8pm it was too late to get a room through that venue, so I hopped over to A Certain Expedited Booking Service.com, punched in Redding, CA, and sorted by price. The winner? Howard Johnson's Inn on Bechelli, at $45 per night, pre-tax. I'll keep it short:
-- When I pulled up, the marquee was advertising the same room I booked for $30.
-- The security latch on my door was missing. And where it should have been, there was a big hole in the wall. I don't mean that it didn't work, I don't mean it was defective, I mean there was a hole in the wall where it had been ripped out. (NOTE TO SELF: Move to state that allows personal use of handguns).
-- The room had exactly two working light bulbs, and neither of them were operated by the switch near the door. There was one bulb over the bathroom sink, but at 40 watts, I might as well have been putting my makeup on with a flashlight.
-- I checked in at 9pm. The toilet was running when I opened the door. Obviously it had been running since it was last cleaned (and who knows when that was?). It took some serious plumbo-gymnastics to make it stop, including jiggling the handle, flicking the chain in the tank up and down as if I were playing with a cat, and finally, moving the hole cover thingy around until it caught a good seal.
-- I was on the second floor. Every time someone walked outside my room, it sounded like a Mac truck was driving through the building. In a way this was fortunate, though, as it allowed my to develop a very intimate relationship with the local cable TV service.
On the plus side, the shower had good pressure and lots of hot water, the bed was clean (believe me, I checked), and the courtesy shampoo was not Wella Balsam.
While corresponding with a friend, I toyed with the idea of calling this review, "This place put the Ho' in Howard Johnson's," but this is a family publication, so suffice to say, I wouldn't recommend this property to my neighbor's noisy, angry pit bull.