Things that Go Boom in the Night

La Antigua Guatemala is a town of crumbling glory and natural beauty. Towered over by three volcanoes, it is a hotspot for disaster. Founded in 1543, it soon became the capital. Earthquakes regularly shook the city, with nine major quakes and a volcanic eruption hitting between its founding and 1751. Every time, the city was rebuilt with chunkier, stronger buildings. In 1773, a set of earthquakes leveled the city. Soon after, Antigua was officially abandoned and Guatemala City became the new capital. Although people stayed behind, town changed little after that. There are still ruins of grand churches and government buildings around every corner. There are also hotels, restaurants and cute shops around every corner.

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Casa Popenoe is a colonial home built in 1632 and severely damaged in the 1773 earthquake. It was restored and is now open to the public Monday to Saturday from 2pm to 4pm. It is a fabulous house and a great indicator of how the wealthy lived in colonial Guatemala.

La Recolecciòn is the most awe-inspiring of the ruins. The largest and most superb of Antigua's religious institutions, the Colegio de Misioneros de Cristo Crucificado, was completed in 1703, but severely damaged in 1717 and virtually leveled in 1773. With rubble the size of small houses, you get a true idea of how incredibly massive this building was.

Las Capuchinas was the cloister of the Capuchin nuns. It was built in 1725, damaged in 1751, and ruined in 1773, but still looks amazingly intact. It is the most beautiful ruin in Antigua, with flowering gardens and the stocky construction for which Antigua is known.

La Merced Church was built in 1546, again in 1690, and again in 1717. It was abandoned in 1773, but was in reasonable condition. The yellow facade with intricate and busy white detail has been beautifully restored. It gives the appearance of a wedding cake. To one side are the ruins of the Convent of La Merced. The crumbling cloisters and gardens are open to the public.

La Fonda de la Calle Real is the best place in Antigua to try traditional Guatemalan food. There are three of these restaurants to choose from, found at 5 Av Nte 5, 5 Av Nte 12, and 3 C Pte 7. For an assortment of specialties, try one of their combination plates.

Quick Tips:

Parque Central, the main plaza, is the heart of Antigua and a must during any visit. In the verdant park, you will find venders selling an assortment of goods and the notorious Antigua fountain, where the water shoots out of sirens' breasts. Around the plaza are the Catedral de San Josè; the Palacio de Ayuntamiento, where the Santiago and the Old Book museums are found; and the Palacio de los Capitanes Generales, where the tourist office is found. There are also restaurants, shops, a bank, and a couple of ATMs surrounding the plaza.

If you are uncomfortable with aggressive venders, be prepared before entering the plaza. The tiny women here have the hard sell down to a science and must have learned their blocking tactics from a football player. I bought a few things here that I think I actually wanted.

Viewing ruin after ruin can be overwhelming and confusing. Try breaking things up with some other form of entertainment.

As usual, don't forget to drink plenty of water and use sunscreen. Pack warm clothing. We knew Antigua was chilly, but were surprised by how cold it was at night and in the early mornings.

Best Way To Get Around:

Getting Here
Most people visiting Antigua fly into Guatemala City and take a taxi or shuttle from there. It is about an hour ride. Buses also leave Guatemala City for Antigua about every 10 or 15 minutes. We drove here. The highway from the capital is quick, well maintained, and very busy. It is a beautiful drive, up and down and through the mountains.

Getting Around
Antigua is a compact town, about 12 blocks squared, and so walking is the usual mode of transport, but other options are available. There are normal taxis, bicycle rentals, and cars for hire, but the most fun ways to get around are the tiny three-wheeled taxis and the horse-drawn carriages.

Driving in Antigua is a no-brainer. Traffic is almost nonexistent outside of major holidays and celebrations, and parking is easy to find. Judging by the behavior of locals, parking in an enclosed lot at night is necessary.

When we arrived in La Antigua Guatemala we headed straight for the hotel. We had detailed directions, which was good. The hotel looks just like the other houses around it and the only identifying mark was a small plaque high on the orange wall reading Hotel Santa Clara. We knocked on the large wooden doors a soon a friendly girl opened. Yes, we were in the right spot, and yes, she would show us a room.

The hotel was originally a home and still feels that way. We were led down a hallway, past a courtyard to a small patio and shown the only double room available that day. Along the way there were many potted plants, a few rocking chairs, a fountain, nice details everywhere. What really caught our attention was how clean everything was, absolutely spotless. From the patio outside our room we could see one of the various volcanoes surrounding Antigua.

Our room was cheerful, extremely clean, and small. There were two double beds covered with blue chenille blankets, separated by a tiny nightstand. On the wall was a framed beach towel depicting Guatemalan life. On one side of the room was a miniscule closet. Next to the door was a very small desk with a pitcher of water that was refilled every day. The one window in the room opened onto a pretty little courtyard. I think we had the only room whose window didn’t face onto the hallway, which made this room much more private.

The bathroom, like everything else, was spotless and tiny. The area around the toilet was uncomfortably small. The shower wasn’t much larger. The water pressure was great and there was plenty of hot water. The soft, clean, fresh towels were replenished daily.

The beds weren’t the most comfortable, being a little wonky, but the sheets were so soft and smelled so good it didn’t really matter. The pillows were some of the best we had on the trip. The hotel was very quiet, too quiet. We could here every last little sound. We could here each other breathing. I think I actually heard Libby blink. The only noises from outside to be heard were the church bells and the volcano, which grumbled and boomed occasionally. From inside the hotel, if the other guests are noisy, you will hear them.

We were charged Q200 (US$25) per night. The hotel accepts major credit cards. Reservations are recommended. There is enclosed parking for a few cars on premises. The hotel also has another secure parking area a block away.

To get here from the central park where the cathedral is (SE corner of park), head east on 5a. Calle Ote (past side of church) two blocks, turn right on 2nd Ave. The hotel is a little over two blocks away, on the right hand side. The ruins of Santa Clara and San Pedro are just one block north of the hotel.

I am a sucker for farm, ranch, and plantation tours, so when I read about Valhalla Macadamia Nut Farm, I knew I had to go. We made it the first stop of the day so we could have a taste of the much-praised macadamia pancakes. Following signs to Ciudad Vieja and then toward San Miguel de las Dueñas, we missed the farm several times. The sign is small and slightly obscured by vegetation, not to mention my tendency to gaze past signs in favor of the view. If you get to San Miguel, you have gone too far.

We finally turned onto the dirt road to Valhalla, and shortly after, the parking area. Tourists were cramming into the only two minibuses in the lot. We were going to have the place to ourselves. We followed the well-marked path through bamboo-like plants and past beautiful medium-sized trees with shiny dark green leaves. These were the macadamias; I had been expecting something much larger. We then past flats of nuts drying, an odd-looking exercise bicycle, and up the stairs to the store. During a short wait, we looked around the store and my stomach started to rumble. There were chocolate-covered macadamias, macadamia brittle, plain macadamias, and so much more. There were also skincare products made from macadamia oil, macadamia flour for cooking, and other unexpected items.

After a 5-minute wait, a guide showed up. The tour started with a sample of chocolate (white and dark) covered macadamias, which we happily munched on while we listened to the spiel about the farm. The main interest here is the ecology and the economy of small Guatemalan villages. The macadamia tree converts large amounts of carbon monoxide into oxygen and puts nitrogen into the ground instead of taking it out, making it a sustainable crop, eliminating the need to slash and burn. Although it is not native to the Americas, it does very well here. For over 20 years, the farm has been improving on their original stock, making stronger trees with higher carbon consumption that produce more nutmeat and are perfectly adapted to the local climate. Valhalla donates many seedlings to villages for reforestation where other crops have left the ground barren. They also teach the villagers about macadamias, about their many uses, and about processing them. Equipment for small-scale production, sustainable by the community, is also donated.

We were led back the way we came. We learned about picking, sorting, and shelling. The exercise bicycle is actually a nutcracker. The guide knew each tree, why it was kept, and what its traits were. A few of the trees exuded a heavenly scent. By the time we arrived back at the store, we were ravenous and ready for our macadamia pancakes. They were not pancakes with nuts, but pancakes made of macadamia flour, which were interesting and definitely edible, but not great. Valhalla is open daily from 8am to 5pm. The tour is free, breakfast is not.

The plaza principal, better known as the parque central, is the heart of Antigua. It is a hive of activity with tourists sightseeing, school children playing, older people sitting on the benches gossiping, ice-cream and balloon men hawking their goods, indigena women selling woven products, and churchgoers passing through. La Llamada de las Sirenas (The Sirens' Call), the fountain for which Antigua is famous, is in the park.

Considered the center of town, the plaza is the starting point for street numbers. Roads running east west are called Calle (C) meaning street, Oriente (Ote) to the east of the plaza and Poniente (Pte) to the west. North-south running streets are Avenidas (A or Av) meaning avenue; north of the plaza, they are Norte (Nte), to the south, Sur. An example is the address for La Fonda de la Calle Real, 3 C Pte 7. It is on 3rd street, west of the plaza. The plaza is bordered by 4C to the north, 5C to the south, 5 Av to the west and 4Av to the east.

Catedral de San Josè is to the east of the plaza. Originally built in 1545, it was destroyed in 1670. It was built from scratch again in 1680 to be destroyed by another earthquake in 1773. Only two of the chapels are now in use. The facade is beautiful, especially at night when it is lit up. The ruins of the church are also open to the public, through the back entrance. Most of the big fat columns still stand. The conquistador Pedro Alvarado and his wife were buried under the church.

El Palacio de Ayuntamiento (city hall) is on the north side of the plaza. It is an impressive building with a columned arcade. It used to be the jail but now it houses two museums, government offices and the mayor's chambers. The Museo de Santiago exhibits mostly military artifacts from Antigua's past. El Museo del Libro Antiguo (The Old Book Museum) is housed in the same rooms as Antigua's original print shop and has antique books and a replica of the first printing press in Central America. On this block, there is a bank and ATM.

Palacio de los Capitanes Generales takes up the whole block south of the plaza. It was built in 1558 and housed important government offices until 1773 when it was severely damaged by an earthquake and parts of it were carted off to make other buildings. A century later, it was reconstructed. Today it holds the police station, tourist offices and other government offices.

Casa del Conde sits west of the plaza. This was originally a house built in 1549 by a count and occupied until 1775. Along this block are shops and restaurants, among them a great bookstore and the Cafe Condesa, which has good food and is located inside the Casa del Conde.

Planning to visit the Valhalla Macadamia Farm, we decided to make a morning of it and see some nearby villages. Although we went first to the farm, backtracked to Ciudad Vieja, turned around again to San Antonio Aguas Calientes, on to Santa Catarina Barahona and turned around one more time heading back through San Antonio and ciudad Vieja, it makes much more sense to make the loop - Ciudad Vieja, San Antonio, Santa Catarina, San Miguel de las Dueñas, Valhalla and back to Ciudad Vieja. By car this was an interesting half-day outing. It is also easily done by bus, but much more time consuming. Walking is also a possibility as distances are short: Antigua to Ciudad Vieja - 5km; Ciudad Vieja to San Antonio - 3km; San Antonio to Santa Catarina - less than 1km.

Ciudad Vieja, originally Santiago de los Caballeros, became Guatemala's second capital (after Iximchè and before Antigua) in 1527. Shortly after, in 1541, a huge mudslide destroyed the town. Almost nothing remains from that era. On the plaza is a beautiful church, some say it was built in 1534, making it the oldest in Central America, others say it was built in the 18th century. The locals we asked all agreed that it was old but none knew how old. Nowadays this is a traditional and busy town with not much else to see.

San Antonio Aguas Calientes is famous for its high-quality weaving, with intricate designs where both sides of the material look finished, making distinguishing front from back impossible. There are small stores all over this small town selling textiles. The plaza is the heart of the community and the main reason to visit. It has an interesting church, gardens with benches, a beautiful fountain of a woman with a pitcher, on old cross and a community laundry area. Across the street is a two-story building, fronted by an arcade of arches, housing government offices. Next-door is the bright pink textile market. Inside are stalls selling woven goods from all over Guatemala.

After an exhausting shopping spree, we sat to rest in the plaza. Soon we heard music, and then that music being echoed. By the doors to the church was a band of elderly musicians, apparently teaching a group of younger musicians a new song. We were then overcome by a smoky, spicy smell and quickly found the man with a copal branch burning. He was blessing the corners of the plaza and then headed off to the church. The bells rang calling worshipers, the music got louder; then everyone disappeared through the doors. As we were packing our new purchases into the car, we heard the sermon being broadcast over speakers. What surprised us was not that it was in the local language but that it was a woman preaching.

Santa Catarina Barahona is a small town virtually connected to San Antonio. Once again, the point of visiting town is to see the plaza. There is a monument commemorating Sancho de Barahona, a captain under don Pedro Alvarado, who founded the town in 1530. Later a church was built, which still stands and is in use, but is crumbling around the edges. In the middle of the plaza are a fountain and a basketball court. Across the street is a small government building and a makeshift video arcade.

Valhalla Macadamia Nut Farm, besides growing and processing the nuts, donates saplings and equipment to small Guatemalan communities and teaches the villagers how to benefit, financially and ecologically, from the trees. Interesting tours of the grounds are offered, as are macadamia pancake breakfasts.