Don't Knock Knoxville - Tennessee's Third City

I have yet to dine there, but for 2005, Metro Pulse readers voted Tomato Head the "Best of the Best Restaurant" in their annual Best of Knoxville list. From everything I've heard and read, there is nothing bad to be said about this eatery. It's on my "to do" list for my next visit, and I'm going in with very high expectations.

Typically, I loathe bars that feature live bands rather than a DJ. In my experience, most local cover bands make me hate the songs that, up until that point, I loved. Fortunately, my friends pressured me into going to Knoxville's Preservation Pub to see a group called The Throwbacks. They are four veteran musicians who cover the best music from two decades ago. It's all '80s, all the time. The Throwbacks have earned a cult following in Knoxville for good reason. They are one of the best local bands I've ever heard, so please try to support them if you find yourself in the Knoxville area.

Quick Tips:

To quickly bond with any Knoxvillian, learn the words to "Rocky Top" by the Osborne Brothers, which is the University of Tennessee's fight song. Warning: This may be the dumbest and most annoying song used by any institution of higher learning.

Best Way To Get Around:

If you love the movie "Road House" starring Patrick Swayze, this is the closest thing to the Double Duece you will probably ever find. You'll know you are someplace special once you have parked and notice the mounted watchmen ready to scare away any Chevy rustlers who might be in the area.

The Cotton Eyed Joe is the largest nightlife venue in Knoxville. It's where urban cowboys and cowgirls congregate to line dance the night away, but a variety of music to suit every taste will be played during the evening. If you are intent on remaining a wallflower, a large selection of bar games (pool, darts, etc.) is available throughout the establishment.

Also, it wouldn't be a truly redneck experience if a mechanical bull, an in-house roping ring, and scantily clad shooter girls weren't present, so be prepared for a completely countrified evening. You'll also see the occasional drunken bar fight being broken up quickly by the hulking bouncers, one of whom is the owner, Gingi, who will probably greet you at the door.

The following is a list of typical weekly activities being served up at the Cotton Eyed Joe. Check the official Cotton Eyed Joe site for directions and information about special events.

Monday
The first Monday of the month is Family Night (no cover for ages 12 and under, with no alcohol served), with free beginner dance lessons from 7 to 9pm, with $0.50 soda and $1 food items. Doors open at 6pm.

Tuesday
There’s Texas Hold'em Poker, Bubba's All Request Dance Party, and karaoke. There is $0.25 beer and $0.75 well drinks for men until 10pm, 2-for-1 mixed drinks until 9 pm, and a complimentary buffet from 6pm until it's gone. Those ages 18 and over are welcome.

Wednesday
$1 mixed drinks until 10pm and $0.25 longneck beers

Thursday
It’s Ladies Night (no cover), with a karaoke contest and free beginner dance lessons from 7 to 9pm. There are $0.75 well drinks for ladies until 10pm., $3.75 pitchers of beer, large $1 draft beers, and a free Tex-Mex buffet from 6p.m. until it's gone.

Friday
There’s free cover until 7pm, $1.50 mixed drinks until 10pm, and $1.50 domestic bottled beers all night. Ages 18 and over are welcome.

Saturday
There’s free cover until 7pm, and ages 18 and over are welcome.

Sunday
It’s College Night (discounts with valid student ID), with beginner dance lessons from 7 to 9pm and $3.75 pitchers of beer. Ages 18 and over are welcome.

According to the September 16, 2004 edition of Sports Illustrated On Campus, the University of Tennessee (UT) ranked as the #1 Best College Football Weekend.

If you hate the color orange, you probably will want to steer clear of Neyland Stadium, the home of University of Tennessee football, on Saturday afternoons. There is a very humorous story as to why Tennessee chose the color orange. It's so our fans can wear the same clothes for hunting on Sunday and picking up trash along the highway during the week.

Neyland Stadium is the second largest stadium in the nation (behind the University of Michigan's "Big House"), with 104,079 total seats. During a winning season, no matter what the weather, it will usually be filled to capacity with a very passionate group. That is why, in the spring of 2001, a Sporting News poll ranked Neyland Stadium the national's #1 college football venue.

On those rare occasions when the team remains undefeated, you will find people willing to pay just about any amount for a game ticket. And Knoxville police tend to turn a blind eye to scalping laws on Saturdays in the fall. That being said, you should try to secure tickets well in advance of the following home games, specifically the October 8th game against the University of Georgia.

University of Tennessee Football - 2005 Home Games
Saturday, September 3 - Alabama-Birmingham
Saturday, October 1 - Mississippi
Saturday, October 8 - Georgia
Saturday, October 29 - South Carolina
Saturday, November 12 - Memphis
Saturday, November 19 - Vanderbilt

UT is part of the Southeastern Conference, which is arguably the greatest collection of teams within NCAA Divsion I-A Football. College football in the South is equal in importance to religion (if not more so for some hardcore citizens). Divisional games usually provide a fierce rivalry and some storied traditions. It is an experience not to be missed by anyone interested in sports. Get to the UT campus early for the fantastic tailgating (parking is notoriously difficult) and make your way to Knoxville's famous strip to celebrate a win following the game's conclusion.

For additional information about University of Tennessee Athletics, check out the official site.

Kingston Alley is technically a restaurant, but I've only gone there to partake of liquefied hops and grains. My friend introduced me to this place on my last stay in Knoxville, and it is a bright spot among the city's nightlife options.

From 8pm to the early morning hours, you will find a lively and social crowd gathered here. Even if there isn't a crowd, Kingston Alley provides plenty of attention-diverting activities. There are many widescreen TVs strategically placed above the bar to keep you up-to-date with the world of sports, especially NASCAR. Two pool tables and a collection of popular videogames are tucked away in a corner and await your quarters. On most evenings, local musicians play a variety of cover tunes - some bands are "bar quality," and some bands will make you hate your favorite songs.

The bartenders are all young, cute, and very talkative. The staff may not serve the drinks you ordered as quickly as possible, but they are pleasant enough that you don't mind the wait. The crowd will fluctuate, with new people coming and going all night long. Kingston Alley is a great starting or ending point for the evening, and you may find that you don't even want to leave.

Also, every Monday, beginning on April 25, a Texas Hold 'Em tournament is hosted here. Sign-in starts at 6pm, and games begin at 7 and 10pm. This is a fairly new attraction for the place, so I can't attest to the skill level of the poker players in attendance.

Regardless, if you are there to bare your soul to a bartender, find action at a poker table, or flirt with a lovely young thing, Kingston Alley is a worthwhile place to waste some time.

Every time I return home, my friends guide me to a local Knoxville hotspot that I have, until then, never frequented. I recently discovered the Downtown Grill & Brewery, which is an old standby that has somehow managed to escape my attention. Over the past few years, Knoxville's downtown has been experiencing a revival. City leaders and local businesses are intent on revitalizing the area, especially around Market Square. In response, trendy restaurants and bars are beginning to consolidate and popularize the area.

Walking or driving down Gay Street, there is a bright neon sign visible from afar that signals the entrance to the Downtown Brewery. However, when you reach it, the name Woodruff's is prominently displayed on the building's face. I was puzzled over the two different names identifying the same location. Apparently, the city is requiring developers to maintain the exterior designs of downtown buildings. The Brewery is housed in a location once owned by Captain Fred P. Woodruff. Following his service in the Spanish-American War, he returned home to engage in Knoxville's retail clothing and shoe business.

Outside of the Brewery's entrance are a few tables offering open-air seating along the busy sidewalk. Upon entering the pub, you'll be surrounded by wood and copper. A massive wooden bar sits in the middle of the room with all four sides accessible to patrons. Tables have also been placed around the bar for small gatherings or to grab a quick bite. Balcony seating is available to view all of the action going on below. Up the back staircase, a game room with additional seating and a small bar draws a more socially conscious crowd intent on mingling.

The Brewery's service policy is "To know our guests, not only by their food and their drink, but more importantly by their name." The pub is known for its friendly staff, but the bartenders didn't go out of their way to find out my story. They probably sensed that I was an irregular (I'm assuming that is proper bar terminology for the opposite of a regular). As I watched people come and go from the bar, the staff did make it a point to greet every familiar face by name. For $30, you can also purchase a personal beer mug that is conveniently stored at the bar. Before the customer settles in his or her seat, these mugs are quickly retrieved and filled with the usual.

At the end of an entry like this, I would normally shower the establishment with praise, but the people of Knoxville beat me to it. For 2005, Metro Pulse readers voted the Downtown Grill & Brewery as the "Best Brewery/Pub" in the annual Best of Knoxville list. Visit the official Downtown Grill & Brewery site for additional information.