The Road to Hell is Paved with...

I hate to be mean and completely negative, but we had a pretty rotten time. Our trip was a short one, so we tried to choose just a couple of things we really wanted to do, and they turned out to be very lame and annoying. At the hotel, we did pay apiece to attend the Mexican Fiesta, and it wasn't bad. The food on the buffet was good, it was a fun atmosphere, and we really enjoyed the pole climbers who played little reed flutes and drums and climbed a tall pole, played music from up there, then attached themselves to ropes and swung upside down from the rotating pole, the ropes unwinding, till they reached the ground. Pretty nifty.

The camaraderie at the tables was great. We sat with some fun people and had a good time. Upon entering the fiesta, the staff placed a little handmade clay cup on a ribbon around our necks, conveniently just the size of a shot of tequila! They will be among our favorite souvenirs!

Quick Tips:

I think we would've had a fairly good vacation without the incessant hounding by those trying to get us to attend sales presentations. It is very easy to get reeled in to their friendly, helpful conversations, which quickly lead down the road to trying to make a hasty exit. One kind gentleman, after we thought we had gotten rid of him, was WAITING for us at the bus stop when we returned from a trip to town. The most helpful tip I think we can give is just say "no" immediately to anyone who tries to strike up a seemingly innocent conversation.

Best Way To Get Around:

The public buses are convenient and affordable. We had a little bit of trouble finding our way back to the hotel from town because there were three bus stops in close proximity to one another and many buses coming through all at once. Two very kind locals helped us locate the correct bus, and we went on our merry way. Taxis are more expensive but, of course, easy and comfortable! We learned a valuable lesson in having transportation from the airport to the hotel arranged through the hotel, as it cost us for a taxi ride. We live and learn - just grab a taxi and make sure to verify the price with the driver before getting in.

Best Things Nearby:
Never located anything good nearby.

Best Things About the Resort:
The resort was comfortable and relatively quiet. The grounds were nicely kept, and the hotel and pool area were clean and neat.

Resort Experience:
The entrance to the hotel is very unique- there's no front door! The entrance is a circular, enclosed walkway with a huge Mayan carving in the center, with water and moss and ferns trickling down into a narrow pool that surrounds it. After passing through this area, a lush, green walkway with piped-in bird sounds leads you to the check-in area. It gives a really cool, tropical feel to entering the hotel.

The hotel has 3 buildings containing the guest rooms, and a couple of outbuildings, including the buffet restaurant and the nightclub. The pool area is large, and extends the full length of the complex.

A couple of things happened that left us with some bad feelings about the hotel. When we arrived and were checking in, the desk clerk "lost" our credit card for about 20 minutes. I won't go into detail, only advise you to keep an eye on your credit card while it's being processed. It was found in an unnatural place, it didn't just fall off the desk. The room we were assigned was full of maintenance people and we had to get another room assignment. One afternoon when we were tired and hot and wanted to relax, another maintenance man was replacing a pipe in our sink for about an hour. They don't have safes in the rooms, and they charge to keep your valuables at the front desk.

After the credit card incident, the last thing we were going to do was leave our valuables with them. It just seemed that our room was wide open to anyone who wanted to enter while we weren't there, even with a Do Not Disturb sign on the door. We spent our first day walking around trying to get our bearings, because we weren't given any information at check-in. We even asked for a map at the desk and they said they didn't have any. Someone called us the second day to give us our bracelets and an info packet, as well as trying to get us to a sales presentation. We got very, very tired of all this, as we are already RCI members, it would be great if the vultures could be avoided somehow. Sadly, even though the Mayan Palace looks nice, we were not at all happy with the overall experience. We'll just chalk it up to experience and move on!

• Unit Type: 1 Bedroom
• Activities: Poor
• Amenities: Poor
• Unit Satisfaction: Good
• Family Friendliness: Not Available
• Service: Poor

Seating is outdoors only, and, unfortunately, the evening we ate there, a brisk, chilly wind was coming off the bay. The food was marginal and overpriced.

They may have changed the name of this restaurant. The signs all read "Cafe del Lago." Each night, the buffet has a different theme, and the price varies for each. The most inexpensive I saw was $19.50 per person for the Tex-Mex buffet. Others were as much as $29 per person.

The food was very disappointing. The atmosphere of the restaurant is pretty and gives a feeling of luxury, and the staff is very attentive. We ate indoors, but a strong wind kept blowing the tablecloth up over the table, but our waiter was very sweet and kept coming back to flip it back down. Their meat selections were pretty good, but they just don't seem big on veggie dishes. My husband and I enjoy good, fresh vegetables, but there were none to be found!

This was an enjoyable eating experience! What a pleasant surprise to get really tasty, interesting food by the pool! Their Asiatic beef wrap is fantastic and incredibly well presented. They had several other wraps and some really interesting burgers, as well as appetizers and salads.

All I can say is "yummy!" We ate at Tacos Break twice during our visit. Their fajitas are great and very plentiful! They serve a selection of six different condiments; a smooth, light guacamole; pico de gallo; and a couple of different salsas varying in degrees of hotness. The second time we visited, I was not as hungry, so I ordered two grilled-chicken soft tacos - they were packed with chicken, just chicken, but served with the other condiments, onions, the salsas, and some fresh cilantro. They were more than enough.

It's a simple little outdoor café located at the north end of the golf course in the complex with Mayan Palace and The Grand Mayan. To get there, the free shuttle will stop upon request. The shuttle runs every 20 minutes back and forth from the hotels to the Sea Market, a small convenience store.

Oh my, we were already a little perturbed with our trip, and this really did us in. I'm an experienced scuba diver, and my husband an experienced snorkeler, so we thought we'd take a fun and relaxing day trip. The photos on the brochure looked very inviting, the trip makes three stops, and they provide a continental breakfast, a sit-down lunch, and snorkeling equipment. The trip consists of a boat ride to Los Arcos "underwater park," a stop at a beach area, and a horseback or hiking trip to a waterfall. Well, it sounds great, doesn't it?

The reality was a beat-up boat, and the continental breakfast was the crew walking through the crowd with big bins of plain bread rolls and some bananas, apples and pears. There was an open bar, thank goodness, or we wouldn't have survived the trip. I think I lost the hearing in one ear from the disco music that blared the entire trip. We stopped at Los Arcos to snorkel, where they handed out masks, snorkels, and life jackets. Due to the life jackets, we were restricted to bobbing on the surface and looking down at... nothing. There was no reef. There were a few small fish, and some of the guests were stung by jellyfish. If there was ever a living reef there, the multitudes of boats and their diesel engines have killed it.

We dropped off the people who wanted to forego the waterfall hike and motored on down the coast to Quimxto, a tiny village on the beach. We did have the best nachos I've ever eaten at the little one-woman café there. After a long wait, we were able to start the hike. The people on horseback went ahead of us, so we had the pleasure of hiking through fresh horse droppings the whole way there and back. It was about a 20-minute hike, and the trail was of smooth sand, rocks, and tree roots - I have to hand it to a pair of teenage girls with 2-inch high sandals who actually made it. They went barefoot on the way back. The waterfall was not large or spectacular, but some of the group had a good time splashing in the pool below. There was a rickety wooden bridge to an area with tables and a sign saying that you were expected to buy at least $5 in food or beverages if you crossed to this patio area.

After the hiking experience, we were ferried back to the party boat in small motorboats and returned to the beach, where we were served a quick lunch of grilled chicken, frijoles, and lettuce, then ushered back into the little boats to return to the Santa Maria. Thank you God for rum drinks. The games on the lower deck were at times risqué - and there were children on board. I think we'll pass on this excursion next time.