Water fun in Wisconsin

Usually we just drive the strip and try to find a motel to stay in. In my opinion, the Dells isn’t one of those places that it is really worth spending a ton of money on a hotel room. We aren’t in our room to justify paying hotel or resort prices.

We happened upon the Luna several years ago, and I would strongly suggest the motel to anyone. We were at the end of a long day of "motel shopping," and they had a vacancy, thank God. The people at the front desk were very nice and very accommodating to us, we couldn’t have asked for nicer people.

The location cannot be beat. They are across the street from Noah’s Arc, and you can walk there and not have to worry about parking. The motel is also close to 2 blocks from Tommy Bartlett’s Water show and within a short walk to a lot of other attractions that you may want to visit. Unlike some of the resorts, you don’t have to get into your car to do everything.

There are two different types of rooms here - the regular rooms and the suites. Both are fine. The rooms are a little older, but they do have a balcony. It is nice to sit outside and have your morning cup of coffee even if it overlooking the outdoor pool. All the rooms come with a small fridge and microwave. It is a good place to keep drinks and snacks; it is the Dells after all.

The rooms are standard rooms, but they are clean. There is no stale-air smell like you sometimes get. If you elect to stay in a suite, you get a full kitchenette, which is nice. This means that you get a full-size fridge, stove, oven, microwave, and a little counter to sit at. These are not bad by any means! They even have Jacuzzi suites if you are interested. You do have to remember that it is the Dells, and the Dells is delightfully tacky.

There are two pools, one outdoors and one indoors. The outdoors one has a slide for the younger kids and a diving board, something my sister and I still enjoy. The indoor pool is smaller but does include a hot tub, which can be a blessing if you have spent all day across the street at Noah’s Ark.

In addition, the Luna has a game room and a picnic area with grills for nice days. There is a children’s playground if the little ones feel restless while you are grilling. They also have free coffee in the morning in the lobby. The Luna does a great job of making you feel welcome. I would recommend them for a stay.

Paul Bunyan’s restaurant is a cross between an amusement park and a restaurant. Truthfully, I had a little trouble deciding where to put it. I think that everyone should experience this restaurant at least once if they are going to Wisconsin Dells.

You will find that the line is most likely going to be pretty long here. It is a Wisconsin Dell’s tradition for a lot of people, so come prepared to wait. Part of the line to wait in, though, is through the gift shops, so you will be able to look at a ton of stuff (or buy it) if you want.

The first thing you will notice when you sit down is the decor. It looks like you are in a log cabin, and you sit on benches, not chairs. In addition, they attempted to make everything authentic by giving you tin plates and cups to eat from, but be careful, they do get hot. All the serves are dressed to the part and make the effort to make you feel like you are eating with Paul Bunyan, or at least during his time.

Paul Bunyan’s is a family-style restaurant that serves you what they want. I have only been here for breakfast, so I can’t speak of their dinner food. You start breakfast off with their famous donuts. They are the best part of the meal. If they could figure a way to package them when they were still warm, they would put Krispy Kreme out of business. In addition, you get pancakes; scrambled eggs; sausage; ham; potatoes; and milk, orange juice, coffee, and tea. It is all-you-can-eat, so if you and your family eat it all on the first round, you can get more.

For dinner, they serve their fried chicken, and on Friday’s, they have a Wisconsin tradition - fish fry! All of this is served with a number of sides and family style.

The food here is heavy and kind of greasy, and there is a lot of it. I wouldn’t come here the morning before you go to a water park, but other than that, it’s pretty good. Don’t forget to tip your servers. Even though it doesn’t look like they do a lot, they do!

Ravina Bay is a wonderful place to go to dinner after a long day at the water park! It is a relaxing restaurant looking out over the water with decently priced food, cheap drinks, and not a lot of screaming kids. We have been here several times, and the food is always amazing.

The last time that we went, we had just gotten back from Noah’s Ark and were looking for good food and a nice relaxing dinner. Our service was a little slow, but they were in the weeds, so this is definitely not the place to go if you are in a hurry. When you go, you have to eat outside, or at least have a drink outside. The view is beautiful and breathtaking. For the outdoor dinner area, they have this huge umbrella they string lights from, so you can see your food and enjoy the atmosphere at the same time. We ordered the mozzarella sticks for an appetizer, which were pretty good, and they came with both a marinara and ranch sauce.

After spending all day being active, we were famished and opted to go with the dinners as opposed to the sandwiches. There are salads, sandwiches, and dinners to choose from, and they all looked good. My sister is the only one that deviated from the plan, and she decided to get the "lunker," which is essentially 8 ounces of fish deep-fried and put on a bun. The portion was huge. She decided to eat it more like fish fry, without the bun. The fish was tender and flaky, and the breading wasn’t overly greasy.

I ordered the fried chicken, and it was wonderful. The outside had a nice crisp, seasoned breading to it, while the inside was tender, juicy, and just as flavorful as the outside. I also got the garlic mashed potatoes - I would definitely suggest them! My father ordered the sirloin, and although the flavor was good, he said that it was a little tough. He sent it back, and they offered him either another steak or another item. The portions here are huge and the food reasonable!

Perhaps the best part of the restaurant is the fact that you can watch the Tommy Bartlett Water Ski show from their deck. One of the nicest things that I saw was that everyone was sharing their tables (they are banquet tables) and letting people watch the ski show with them. Go for dinner here and watch the show (8:30pm) and you will not be disappointed; it gives you a whole different view of the show when you watch it from behind and above.

After dinner we decided to have after-dinner drinks on the one of the two cocktail seating areas outside. This place is wonderful to come to for dinner or just a drink. It is close enough to downtown, but without all the glitz and glamour.

We were a little hesitant to try Mexicale Rose because it was written up everywhere and is right in the middle of all the tourist attractions. I must admit that we were pleasantly surprised. The décor, both inside and out, is truly adorable. They make a big effort to live up to everyone’s idea of a "fun Mexican time," and everything is done in bright colors, with lots of flowers and cuter tables and chairs.

We actually ate outside on the deck, as it was so pretty outside and was worth it. They have a huge white deck that overlooks the water, and the view is fabulous. You are right by the boat tours, so you would think that it would be really noisy, but they do a nice job of blocking out the sound. They have hung huge planters of bright flowers that add to the decor and block the sound. There is also a cute bar right next door (owned by Mexicale Rose) for you to go to while waiting for your boat.

Our waiter was very good and our service was prompt. He made an effort to make sure that our water and my sister’s ice tea were always full. The meal starts out with chips and salsa, and the salsa is very good, but you should sprinkle some salt on the chips. My mother and I ordered the margaritas; she had the strawberry and I had the raspberry. Both were HUGE! They came in fishbowl-size glasses and lasted us throughout dinner ($5.50). My dad had a beer, and it came in the same huge glass.

For my meal, I had the combination platter one, which was a taco, burrito, and enchilada. The food was very fresh, and they give you rice and beans and a small salad. My portion was huge, and I had to have help finishing it. My mom had a chicken fajita salad, which was very good. Don’t be deceived by the size, as it looks a little small, but the salad just kept coming and coming. The chicken was marinated in this wonderful seasoning and actually grilled. My sister had the taco salad, and it was very good as well. She had chicken, and it was very tender and juicy, not dry like a lot of places have it. In addition, it was loaded with toppings and served in a tortilla shell. Dad had the cheese enchiladas, and we guess that they were good considering he basically licked his plate clean!

The food was a lot better than we were anticipating and the decor is great. I would suggest this place for dinner. Between the view and the margaritas, what more can you want?

We went to BJ’s for breakfast one morning. It was conveniently located next door to our hotel and right across the street from Noah’s Ark. I would suggest eating on the outside deck. While the view may not be the best in the Wisconsin Dells, it is better than eating inside, which can get a little loud.

Our waitress was very sweet and helpful. Even though she had a full station, she still made time to check and see how we were doing and make suggestions.

They serve breakfast till noon, and I would strongly suggest it. I had the French toast, which came with your choice of meat, and it was a huge helping. It was four gigantic pieces of French toast that were light, fluffy, and sweet, plus a huge helping of Wisconsin’s third-favorite sin (right after cheese and beer), butter.

My sister had the apple pancakes, and it was a huge portion. There were four pancakes with a topping of apples in a sweet/cinnamon sauce covering them and then mounds of whipped cream. They were very tasty, and I would suggest them.

My father had the corned beef hash, and it was wonderful. Corned beef has two eggs, hash browns, and toast. The portion was so large that he could share with me. Often times, corned beef hash can be a little dry or too greasy, which wasn’t so for this stuff, as it was very good.

My mom had just eggs and bacon, but she also received toast and hash browns. The only thing was that the hash browns are a little bland, so I would suggest a nice douse of ketchup to pick them up. Otherwise, the food was wonderful and we could not have asked for a better breakfast in the Dells. From the cute outdoor patio to the friendly service to the food, it was a wonderful way to start the say.

Noah’s Ark Water Park is the reason that we go to the Wisconsin Dells. Everything else is just a side trip. Noah’s Ark is America’s largest water park, and I totally believe that statement. There is something for everyone here, from two wave pools to family water slides, to lazy rivers, to children’s play areas.

About every 2 years, the park puts up a new attraction, which means a big new waterslide. It seems like every time we go, they have something new to ride. The most recent slides were the Stingray, which is a double-person tube where you sit facing your partner and feel as if you are going to fall out the edges (don’t worry, nobody ever does). And the Point of No Return! This is the tallest waterslide in the park and makes The Plunge (face-first slide where you slide down on a mat) look like a kiddy ride. Here, you go down on your back, but from the top, it looks like you are going straight down. My advice for the first time you ride it is to close your eyes.

My favorite slide of all time is Black Thunder. It is a series of different slides that you go down in in a tube in blackness. The entire tube is enclosed, and every once in a while, you see a bit of light. You don’t know when you will hit the water; it’s a ton of fun. There is also a family version so you can enjoy the experience with several people.

If you are more for the traditional slides, check out Sidewinders, the Bermuda Triangle, and Jungle Rapids. These are more your traditional waterslides, with either you using a tube, a mat, or just yourself! Jungle Rapids is a favorite of my mother’s.

In addition, there are two large wave pools (you can rent tubes), two lazy rivers, and the Lagoon Area. I would suggest a stop here if the adults are a little tired but the kids are still raring to go. There are lily pads to climb over (okay, balance on), some chute tubes, small slides, and two cable drops (these seem to be getting harder as we get older). There are a ton of lounge chairs nearby and a bar that sells beverages and snacks, just in case you need a little pick me up.

The food here isn’t grossly overpriced as the area and amusement parks go, and there is something for everyone. In addition, there are several shops where you can purchase souvenirs if you want them.

Some words of advice: When you get there, get a locker and look for coupons (they are everywhere), and don’t bring a towel or flip-flops - you will just end up running all over looking for them. Purchase or bring one of those waterproof wallet holders that go around your neck, and ladies, make sure that your swimsuit it secure, or better yet, wear a one-piece.

You have to do the Ducks when you go to the Dells, at least the first time you go there, or every few years (depending on the frequency you make the journey). I would strongly suggest the Original Wisconsin Dells Ducks. There are a lot of imposters out there, but these are the originals and the best.

The Ducks were used in the military beginning in WWII, up through the Korean War. They were used in the D-Day invasion and all over the Pacific. The great thing about this vehicle is that it can work on land and in the water. The original Wisconsin Dell’s Ducks use these past vehicles of our history, so you may be riding on a Duck that was part of the D-Day invasion or carried Winston Churchill. Many of the other Duck Companies in the dells use a newer model.

The actually tour is about 1 hour and covers 8.5 miles that go through both the wooded trails and the bodies of water throughout the Dells. The Ducks are an amazing way to see the scenery of the area. There is one particular spit where you squeeze into a tight spot that you aren’t sure you will make. The Duck allows you to get up close and personal with the canyon walls, shady gorges, and wooded trails of the Dells.

In addition, you visit the Duck’s graveyard. While not the most scenic sight, it shows you where all the former Ducks go when they are "retired." It does put you in the mood for the rest of the history lessons you don’t realize you are getting till it’s over. My favorite part of the Duck experience is the splashdown. This is when the Duck goes from land to water. It is the highlight of the tour and shows you what the Ducks are really made of. After the splashdown, you will now cruise down the Wisconsin River. The river is known for its amazing sandstone cliffs, and the view from the Ducks is perfect for a picture or just to gaze. It is a great way to see the area, and I would suggest it over a boat cruise.

The final portion of the ride is back onto land, where you actually drive up a rocky sandbar to get back to the main area. It makes you appreciate the history of the Ducks.

The drivers of the Ducks are great, too! I have never had a bad experience with the driver, and they are always well informed about both the area and the history. We have yet to ask them a question that couldn’t be answered, but maybe you will be luckier!

Top Secret is like any one of the hundreds of tacky amusement areas that line the streets of the Wisconsin Dells. The only thing is that, from the outside, Top Secret looks amazing. This best part is seeing the White House all messed up. The only reason that we went was that it was raining horribly one day and had nothing else to do. Honestly, it is a rip-off and one of the more expensive additions to the Dells that is not worth your money.

You will most likely wait in line longer than you will be in the attraction - never a good thing! Top Secret goes through some script about how you are supposed to help the president do something. I am still not too sure what it was. They don’t spend a lot of time laying out the premise for you, and therefore, you can get lost quite a bit.

While there were some areas that were pretty interesting, a lot of the time, you were just walking down dark, empty hallways waiting for something to happen. When nothing did, it was kind of a disappointment. As fair warning, it may be a little too much for little ones to handle, so while rather lame for adults, very little ones might be scared.

The best part of the entire thing was the decontamination room, and even then you kind of wish that there was more. I am not going to go with a step-by-step analysis of everything in there. If you decide that you want to go, I don’t want to ruin it for you.

Overall, you expect to be treated to a huge adventure. I guess I was expecting something along the lines of a Disney or Universal Studios ride or exhibit. The building looks huge from the outside, but there is no way that they even use half of the space. Honestly, it kind of seems like they didn’t finish everything and they just pushed to open on time. The premise is a bit fuzzy, the tour guides aren’t that informative, the decor isn’t that amazing, and there is no real closure to it - they kind of just dump you back outside. In my personal opinion, it is a waste of money and time. There are a ton of things to do in the Dells; find another one.

I’ll admit, I was a little hesitant to go on the Wild Thing Jet Boat. Personally, I thought that it would be a little lame, but it was a blast and a half. The company does a great job of combining the beauty of the Dells with the thrill of a racing boat.

You can either drive there or be bussed from the ticket-purchasing center, and we choose the bussing option (it just made life easier). Once you get to the landing spot, you must walk a little ways to get to the dock, but it well worth the walk! They snap your picture (it is the Dells, so they do have to make it corny somehow) and then load the boats. It doesn’t really matter where you sit; you will get wet. But the people on the outside get the most wet, as does the second row. Don’t let that little windshield make you think you aren’t getting wet!

The boats are really nice and sit about eight to a row, with seven rows back (I believe), and they have handlebars, life preservers, and all that stuff just in case. The tour guides really make the experience worthwhile, and ours was a blast. They do have a script, but they are helpful, insightful, and have a great sense of humor. You start the trip of going really fast, then the boat stops suddenly and you are drenched in water! Keep your eyes open during at least of these excursions, as it is pretty cool.

Basically, you start the trip off wet and are wet throughout the rest of the trip. You are on the Wisconsin River during the entire trip and some beautiful sights. You start off seeing the dam (okay, maybe not the most beautiful sight) and then travel 14 miles round trip to see some of the Dells’ most renowned natural sights. You will see Blackhawk’s Island and Chimney Rock, the rock with Blackhawk’s face in it. You get to visit Cold Cavern (I believe that’s the name) and see a ton of wildlife as well.

While all the scenic tour stuff is nice, the best part is the actual jet boat. They take some boats out two at a time and have a great time splashing each other and trying to swamp each other. The boats have 1,200 horse power, and you can really feel it. You do everything from full-throttle stops to 360-degree spins. It is an absolute blast.

I would strongly suggest the Wild Thing Jet Boats! It is a great time that mixes history and pleasure together. My only suggestion… wear your bathing suit!