Two Days in Grand Canyon, AZ

Since the train originates in Williams, that’s where we lodged both nights. Most lodging was booked when we pulled our last-minute plans out of a hat, so we ended up at the Rodeway Inn on Grand Canyon Boulevard.

The hotel is run by an Indian (not American or Asian) family. They are incredibly friendly and work hard to make sure you’re happy. Although a bit pricey for "budget," we were stuck. We had a double room that was comfortable for three bed-sleepers, and we set up the co-sleeper in the corner for the little one. The spartan accommodations did their utilitarian job. Wireless Internet access is free on site, which was nice and unexpected. There’s even a minimalist complimentary breakfast served in the morning. The blueberry muffins tasted homemade, and the kids enjoyed one of life’s simple pleasures: chocolate mini donuts, the kind with the plastic frosting.

Just north of the station there is a mock-up of a stable and saloon, complete with a wooden boardwalk where a shootout takes place each morning prior to the train departing for the canyon. The kids enjoy it as the local bandits argue over poker and who’s paying for breakfast ("Why don’t we get one of them there Egg McMuffins?"). One bandit gets shot as he’s standing over a pile of "horse hockey" and refuses to die in that spot. He asks to "rewind" that scene and to get "shot again" where there's no "number 2." The crowd enjoys the moment and the spirit in which this comedy is delivered.

The shoot out wraps and we board the train. The all-coach train consists of restored Pullman cars with about 20 rows of two seats on either side of an aisle. The seats can be "flipped" so that up to four people can face one another. The train makes the voyage in about 2 hours and 15 minutes. While you’re traveling, your car’s brakeman tells stories and fills you in on local lore. Traveling musicians entertain riders with everything from fiddling to banjo and cowboy guitar strumming. There’s a food car with snacks for purchase, and soft drinks (Pepsi) are complimentary to all.

After 3 hours of sightseeing at the canyon, the train makes its way back to Williams. All the kids are anticipating what they heard on the way up: The train is going to be robbed by the bandits on the way back. As it passes 5pm, a glance off to the east reveals the presence of the horseback gang. The bad guys pose for pictures, and eventually the marshal shows up and "arrests" them. The train arrives back into Williams in plenty of time for dinner, which, for us, was at Pancho McGillicuddy’s, right on Historic Route 66. The kids are exhausted and the canyon has been conquered.

Since three hours, much less three days, is scarcely enough time to dedicate to one of God’s wonders, we drove back to the South Rim on the second day for more viewing and jaw-dropping exhilaration. We left at about 8am, which, as we would find out upon leaving, was a smart move. We entered the park, and since we’d taken the train the day before, were granted gratuitous entrance to the park, courtesy of our tickets. That’s a $20 savings. Save your stubs! We drove east at the fork in the road, since it’s that "side" of the canyon that allows you to drive up to the edges, stop, take pictures to your heart’s content, and move on. If you go west, you get stuck in a parking morass and end up with 80% of the bus tourists.

The Grand Canyon is an interesting thing: All the vistas look the same (awe-inspiring) but they’re all so completely different. Moving two feet in either direction elicits a new mouth-agape look on your face. It stuns with its size, magnitude and serenity all at once. This was my third trip to the South Rim and it felt like my first trip to the candy store as a kid... and this time I had a quarter!

As we left the park, the line which we had waited in, consisting at the time of four cars, had grown to four miles of cars. If you’re headed to the park, get there early and avoid seeing your daylight hours reduced by the wait time to get into the park. Another little tidbit if you like to camp instead of hotel it: Camping within the confines of the national park system will cost you the price of entry. If you’re on a shoestring like me, you can camp just outside the park inside the Kaibab National Forest free of charge, provided you’re not within a quarter-mile of the road.

So after two days of chasing kids around the park and ensuring their safety at cliff’s edge, what’s the verdict? To paraphrase an old Spanish refrain: "Give alms old woman, for there is nothing so sad as to be blind at the Grand Canyon." Try as one might, using mere adjectives to describe the beauty seems to be an exercise in futility.