Beijing and Environs

The Great Wall at Simitai, traffic jams, and more Peking Duck than you can imagine.

Quick Tips:

When you take a taxi from the airport, don't get caught in one of the scams. Take the little red taxis. Don't let some lady talk you into spending fifty dollars for a ride that should cost ten. Also, have someone write down your destination in Chinese, so you can show it to the cab driver. Many of them don't read maps. Another tip: carry toilet paper with you wherever you go. Many public toilets are paperless.

Best Way To Get Around:

Bus system is dynamite, as long as you don't mind being jammed in with a million people. The taxis are extrememly cheap, so they are the most economical way to get around the city.

We stayed at a gargantuan complex called the Friendship Hotel, which isn't near the center of the city, but it's only a five dollar cab ride away. Located on Bai Shi Qiao Lu in the Haidan district, the hotel is about 45 minutes from the airport (depending on traffic), and about 15-20 minutes from Tiananmen Square and the Forbidden City. This place is the equivalent of a five-star western hotel and it has 1900 rooms, 20 restaurants, a few bars, swimming pools, outdoor and indoor tennis courts, an underground shopping mall, a bowling alley, a gym, a karaoke lounge, a hair salon, beautiful gardens outside, and underground passageways that connect its five Chinese temple style buildings. It is the largest hotel in Asia and the rooms go for about $120 for a double.

The rooms are somewhat smaller than in a western hotel, but they come equipped with everything, including a Radio Shack telephone in the bathroom and a minibar. The room service is nice, but you don't need to deal with it, since there are many restaurants in the place, all of which have cheap beer.

And the bellboys will jump at your every request.

Peking Duck, one of the most Epicurean dishes in China, goes way back in time, and while in Beijing we gorged on it. Sometimes the duck comes whole, while other times it arrives already cut up on a plate. You then take the shaves of duck meat, along with a few green onions or leeks, and wrap it up in the Chinese equivalent of a small pancake with some Hoisin plum sauce. One duck serves about four people.

Two particular restaurants were faves on our trip: the world famous Quan Ju De, and another spectacular joint called Tian Wai Tian. Both specialize in Peking/Beijing Duck.

Quan Ju De, which translates as 'all virtues assemble' is one of the most famous eateries in all of China and it's been around for 150 years. Famous for the giant duck outside the restaurant, Quan Ju De has three locations in Beijing: one in the Xicheng district, one in Hepingmen district and the other in the Wangfujing district.

Tian Wai Tian, which means 'Heaven beside Heaven,' is located in the Haidan district, the Northwestern area of Beijing, right down the street from Tsinghua University. It's populated by all walks of life.

The Chinese Yuan is about eight to the US Dollar, making it very cheap to eat at these restaurants which are somewhat expensive for the Chinese. We were devouring gourmet meals for next to nothing.

At both restaurants we rolled in with a party of at least nine people and the hosts were gracious enough to supply a private room just for us. Being in our own room, completely away from the clamor of the main restaurant, was a treat. We could sit and talk at normal levels, or if we wanted to drink and get loud, no one else could hear us. We literally indulged, wiping out two Peking Ducks, three exotic fish plates, a variety of vegetable dishes, and a couple of beers each, and we only wound up spending about ten dollars a person, which is nothing. In typical Peking Duck fashion, the finale consists of a large bowl of soup containing cabbage and all the bones from the ducks you just gorged on.

We were lucky enough to be escorted by an unforgettable Chinese woman, Shen Lei, who spoke impeccable English and ordered everything for us. Both these places don't have English menus, so you might want to do the same. (Well, if worst comes to worst, just find out the Mandarin words for duck, broccoli, fish, beer, or whatever, and you'll be able to communicate well enough to get what you want). These two eateries are highly recommended and famous all over Beijing.

We walked by some other eateries that featured mouth-watering delights like, 'Yak Penis With Caterpillar Fungus.' We didn't try that one. Also, my unforgettable companion on this trip, Shen Lei, happens to enjoy a snack of fried scorpions. (See photo below).

One of the most breathtaking views on earth is at the Great Wall at Simitai, about three hours north of Beijing. If you are in Beijing soon, you owe it to yourself to make a visit to Simitai. It will make your entire trip to China worthwhile.

We were there at the end of October, not the time to visit the place, as the frigid, polar gusts and the below freezing wind chill factor nearly turned us into blocks of ice. This is where they get you. None of us were prepared for the weather, so the t-shirt vendors, all of which had plenty of hats, gloves, and overcoats for sale, made a fortune. I chose to venture forth with only a light windbreaker. Bad move. I nearly collapsed.

We paid about four American dollars to take the gondola to a point which is halfway up the mountain. For nearly thirty minutes we eased along in the gondola, ever so slowly, with nothing around us except for chocolate brown mountains as far as the eye can see. The desolation of it all is what hits you first. You can't realize how remote certain parts of China are until you actually get there. The wall was omnipresent, twisting and turning its way in, around, and between the sharp mountain tops.

The grueling hike up the rest of the mountain was one of the most difficult 45 minutes I had ever spent, due to the 70 degree slopes, the piercing winds and the freezing temperature. After a rough climb totaling 500 meters, we nearly passed out from the cold.

Once we finally made it to the top, took in the Great Wall and reveled in its grandiosity, the rigors of the climb all became worth it. The overall magnitude of the structure transcends any possible photograph of it. The view was unreal. Again, as far over the horizon as our eyes could see, was the wall, all by itself amidst miles and miles of dirt-colored mountains, most of which were sharp, jagged, and irregularly shaped. It was hard to fathom that the wall itself stretched across China for 1800 more miles than what we could see at this particular location. Like Chinese thought, the whole scenario was a pair of opposites: noble and awe-inspiring, while somehow austere, grim, and uncompromising at the same time.

There was also an intriguing element of danger, since parts of the wall at Simitai have not been reconstructed yet (unlike Badaling), leaving a 1000 foot drop off the edge at certain places. You have to be very careful.

If you go to Simitai, bring lots of film. You'll need it.

Tiananmen Square was unusually vacant the day we decided to visit the place. I don't know why. I imagined it would be overrun with tourists, but it wasn't. There were a few dozen people, mostly Chinese people from parts outside of Beijing, strolling around taking pictures. I didn't see any other Westerners besides us. Funny as it seems, my friend traveling with me, Mr. Ryan Torchia, had long purple hair and was wearing a Melvins T-shirt. I thought this fact would draw us immediate attention, but it didn't until later. After fighting off the hawkers trying to sell us postcards, we turned right around and were faced by three lovely young Chinese girls, each one with a camera and each one wanting to have her photograph taken with us.

We keenly obliged. I just wish I had a copy of these pictures. They must have been priceless. After the intimate photo shoot, the girls, grinning from ear to ear in coquettish glee that only young Chinese girls can do, all simultaneously said, 'Shie-Shie,' which means 'thank you.'

We then continued our meandering and waltzed across the street to the back entrance of the Forbidden City. The first photograph you see at the bottom of this page, taken by Mr. Torchia himself, appeared in the San Jose Mercury News March 26th, 2000 with the following caption, penned by yours truly:

Are you a man who secretly longs to be a rock star? If so, grow your hair past your shoulders, wear lots of girly jewelry, and prance around Tiananmen Square like you're God's gift to Eastern civilization. Young Chinese girls will take your picture. I promise. Then go across the street and stand in front of the gates to the Forbidden City. Mao himself shines behind you like a guardian angel. After all, you were born in the year of the monkey, so why shouldn't you be the center of attention?

Traffic in Beijing is completely insane.

Just for the sake of comparison, if I drive on the sidewalk in a big city in California for a reasonable length of time, I'll probably hear a siren within ten minutes. If I cruise through a residential neighborhood and drive on someone's parking strip just to get around the slowpoke in front of me, I'll most likely get a ticket. If not, someone will write down my license plate number and dash for the phone. Whatever American metropolis you find yourself in, there are volumes of traffic laws and moving violations designed to subdue the would-be reckless driver.

In Beijing the only rule is this: whoever has the biggest vehicle wins. Or so it seems. There are constantly hoards of cars, dump trucks, bicycles, cabs, rickshaws, and carts plowing towards each other from every direction imaginable. Taxis drive on the sidewalk to get around traffic jams. Cars drive on the opposite side of the street or in the bicycle lane if need be. A tour bus will not hesitate to make an abrupt U-turn in the middle of a busy street, clogging the road for hundreds of meters.

Beijing has thirteen million inhabitants and it seemed like they were all on the road at the same time. Vehicles travel so frighteningly close to one another that you can see what book is being read by the person on the bus in the 'lane' next to you. Bikes travel inches away from speeding automobiles, horns are omnipresent, and everyone seems to be playing chicken with each other. Again, the largest vehicle usually takes home the prize.

Everywhere I went, there were hundreds of thousands of tiny red taxi cabs that looked like Hot Wheels. They had the obvious advantage as they were able to zigzag in-between the countless numbers of jam-packed buses. (I've never seen so many people crammed into a bus in my life).

In Beijing you must always, to revive a tired cliché, expect the unexpected. If someone tells you that it takes 45 minutes to get from Bai Shi Qiao Lu to the airport, well, that means it could take twenty minutes or it could take an hour and a half.

Being a pedestrian in Beijing is no laughing matter. You have absolutely no rights in the world whatsoever. The only way to cross a busy street is to find a group of people who are already trying and then tag along, that is, after you make it through the first wave of bicycles.

After awhile it gets to be quite entertaining, and after nine days in Beijing, I was more than getting used to it. The traffic was fascinating to watch. Chaos theory advocates will be intrigued with Beijing because the flow of traffic is definitely a self-organizing system and the entrance of just one bicycle into the flow can lead to significant changes down the road.

After you clear customs at the Peking Airport, you'll walk towards the door amidst the typical hustle and bustle of a crowded facility. Once you get outside, you'll need to take a taxi to wherever you plan on staying. There are several types of taxis in Beijing, but the tiny red ones are the ones you want. They are very cheap. Find someone to write down your destination's address in Chinese characters so you can give it to the taxi driver. Many of the drivers can't read a map, so this is a must.

At the airport you must beware of a certain scam. As you approach the door, a lady will come up and tell you that she has the best deal on upscale driving services into the city. She'll lead you to a nice black car, which rolls up to the curb outside. Sure, it's much more comfortable than the drab red taxis, so you go for it. She charges you about $50 in advance for her driver to take you into the city. It's about a hour ride, so $50 dollars sounds about right.

Don't be fooled by this. Take the little red taxis. For exactly the same ride, you'll pay about $10. The lady is the perpetrator of an excellent scam. We got fooled.