Rediscovering Tourist Los Angeles

Most people come to L.A. for either the amusement parks (Disneyland or Universal Studios) or the Hollywood scene. Do that stuff if you have to, but don't forget about these gems: downtown, especially the Disney Concert Hall; the new Cathedral of Our Lady of the Angels; the all-but-forgotten L.A. Public Library's main branch in Pasadena (the Huntington Library is beautiful, so make reservations long before for high tea); the UCLA campus (I'm biased, but I think it's a real beauty and a fun place to walk around); and the Getty Center, more for the architecture and views, but the art's okay. And L.A. is an ethnic-food capital - get off the beaten path and eat Mexican food in East L.A., Korean in K-Town, Indian in the Artesia area, and soul food in Crenshaw.

Quick Tips:

Citysearch.com and AOL City Guide have good recommendations and roundups of the best things to do in the city. You can pick up a L.A. Weekly at bookstores and coffee shops around the city; it has great listings of happenings for the young. If you're going to the amusement parks, avoid paying full price (a family of four at Disneyland will pay in admission) by buying tickets at Costco beforehand. In fact, if you're doing a bunch of those parks, there is a Southern California City Pass that makes it cheaper (citypass.com).

Best Way To Get Around:

Buses take too long to get around the city (1.5 hours from the west side to downtown), they but can be a good way to see a more "real" side of L.A. The metro system is a very good way to go if you only want to see Hollywood around Hollywood Boulevard, the Long Beach Convention Center area, Pasadena, and parts of downtown. Otherwise, you'll have to rent a car. Parking is generally plentiful and not nearly as expensive as New York or London, but traffic is bad almost any time of day around the touristy areas.

This Hollywood icon is always crowded, and with good reason. For those of us who only eat hot dogs when we go to Costco, it's easy to think of the simple frankfurter as a kid's meal or something to eat because all you have in your wallet is food stamps. But the 50 people in line in front of us begged to differ.

Pink's has a small parking lot, or you can park on any of the small side streets around. If you're with friends, drop them off as soon as you're near to get in line, because you are going to wait… boy, are you going to wait. We were there at 3pm in a pretty good L.A. rain and still had to wait 35 minutes in line to order food. The smells of chili and hot dogs whip you into a frenzy of Pavlovian salivation, a secret technique they surely must use to heighten the experience.

When we finally got to the counter to order, we had time to memorize the menu with its bewildering array of options. Who knew you can fit two hot dogs in one bun (the Today Show Dog)? There's even a crazy option with three hot dogs in a tortilla (Three Dog Night). At the last minute I saw somebody ordering a Spicy Polish dog (with onions; mustard; and, of course, chili for $3.45), and that made up my mind. My friends ordered the Rosie O'Donnell (mustard; onions; sauerkraut; and, of course, chili for $3.50) and the Pastrami Reuben Dog (mustard, pastrami, Swiss cheese, and sauerkraut - no chili - for $5).

Another tip is to, when you're in line and about 10 minutes from the front, send a friend to go claim a table. If you wait, you'll be eating your dog standing up. The table friend will have flashbacks of Elaine in Seinfeld saving seats at the movies, but it will be worth the extra trouble to fully enjoy your dogs.

You can see them make all the food. There are no visible secrets here. They steam Hoffy franks; use a pretty normal-looking chili; and have a small, standard fast-food grill. So why does everything taste so good? The Spicy Polish dog was unbelievable - juicy, surprisingly spicy, and an unexpectedly good blend of two strong tastes, chili and the sausage. The fries are seasoned just right; I recommend getting them without the extra chili and cheese, though that's good, too. The onion rings aren't the best ever, but they'll do. Washed down with a black-cherry soda, I couldn't believe this meal lived up to the hype and was worth the wait.

We considered getting back in line for another go, but were a little too full and still had miles to go on our journey.

Breakfast is the star at this local favorite. The name is Scottish, but the flapjacks and potatoes are all-American and the crowd is very L.A. West L.A. is Yuppieville, and that will be obvious when you see all the cell phones, baby strollers, toy dogs, and BMWs. But this is a great way to see non-touristy L.A., at least the rich, Westside part of it.

The feel of the place is very busy, with stargazers mixing with stars and wanna-be stars (While we were there on a Saturday morning, we even saw two stars, Diane Lane and Ed O'Neill). There's always a crowd outside for breakfast and a din inside as the modestly rich and powerful chat about their newest obsessions and possessions.

But you're rewarded when the food finally comes. There are beautiful, fluffy pancakes and excellent homemade hash with onions and spinach. And the potato cakes are worth coming for alone, with a hint of cheese and cilantro. To start a heavy day of sightseeing, this is a satisfying way to fuel up.

The portions are huge and reasonably priced. For four people, we ordered three dishes for $28 and were stuffed.

The Grove is one of the new shopping extravaganzas that has defined suburban America and are now moving back into the center of cities. It's full of high-end shops, a beautiful courtyard (especially at night), and a renovated farmer's market. And if you're looking for a fun place to stay, the nearby Farmer's Daughter hotel is drawing raves as a smart and affordable place.

The Farmer's Market is an open-air food court on the south end of the complex. There is a grocery with expensive fruit and vegetables and a very nice French market with a surprisingly nice selection of wine and cheese. And then there are food stands to meet your every craving. There is a pretty good crepe stand, a sports bar packed into a 200-square-foot stand, a Korean barbeque place, a doughnut stand, a Brazilian steak place… you get the picture.

But tonight we dined on po' boy sandwiches from the Gumbo Pot, the Cajun stand at the south end. For about $5, you get freshly fried shrimp in a tasty roll with some lettuce and a special sauce. It was actually better than any po' boy I had while I was in New Orleans.

On the weekends they have live bands performing. Although it is loud, the crowd is friendly, everybody in your party can have a different cuisine, and you don't have to tip anyone. And when you're done eating, you can go back and blow all the money you saved on dinner on a new pair of shoes.

Ikea?

Are you kidding me?

I guess I'm not necessarily recommending that you take time out of your vacation to schlep all the way to Burbank to go to a furniture store. But it made for a quick and fun start to our second day of L.A. fun. And we were on our way to It's a Wrap (cast-off clothing from the studios).

Ikea, if you don't know about it, is a giant Swedish chain that has taken over college dorms and 20-something living rooms all over. Their stores are as big as a Costco and full of brightly colored, unassembled junk for every room in your house. But they also feature a café that has one of the best bargains in any town - breakfast for $0.99.

This is a breakfast that is a million times better than a continental breakfast you'd get with your $200 room in Italy. You get scrambled eggs, pretty good potatoes, and a couple strips of Swedish bacon. There are other options, too, all a bargain: coffee, desserts, salads, sandwiches, fruit, cereal, and soft drinks. And downstairs at the exit they sell freshly made cinnamon rolls, soft-serve ice cream, and funny hot dogs, as well as some odd Swedish grocery items.

The food in the café is served dorm style, so you get in a line with a tray and somebody literally uses an ice-cream scooper to scoop your eggs and potatoes onto a plate. Then you pay at the end of the line. And after the meal, you take your tray into a big contraption for them to collect and clean. All in all, it was a much better experience than eating in my college dorm 10 years ago, and a lot cheaper, too.

And the bonus is that we got to argue about couches on our way out!

While the decor could use an update, there are few finer views in L.A. than the venerable Castaway. Everything takes a back seat to the view. The food could be crappy and the service just plain mean, and I'd still recommend this place for the gorgeous views of L.A.

Sunday brunch is a wonderful spread, with a huge buffet with sushi rolls, omelettes, roast beef, pastries, and too many things to count. On a nice day, you can eat outside on their patio and soak up the panorama below.

It's an older, whiter crowd at Castaway, so there's a lot of tweed jackets and pants suits. For $25, enjoy being part of old-money L.A. and pretend that you are looking out over your dominion.

This would be a pretty unexceptional, though big, thrift store if it weren’t for one thing - everything sold here is from the costuming departments of movies and TV shows. For people who have always wanted to wear stuff you can tell stories about (okay, so they’d be pretty dumb stories), It’s a Wrap contains treasures galore.

There is a huge range of stuff: dumpy T-shirts, suits from law dramas, the latest urban fashions from Samuel L. Jackson's movie Coach Carter, and evening wear from daytime soaps. I had my eye on a sweet baby blue tux from One Life to Live.

Even if you don’t buy anything, it’s fun to dress up and try on goofy outfits. And while not as cheap as a real thrift store (avoid Melrose), you can pick up some real bargains, especially in men’s suits. The real star’s duds probably don’t wind up here; you’re probably getting the castoffs from extras and minor characters. But it’s not everyday that you get to wear a real Day of Our Lives pair of pants!

We drove into the Bel-Air/Beverly Hills area to have the quintessential tourist L.A. experience: we were going to buy a star map and drive around, ogling the compounds where the stars live. It's pretty easy to buy a map - just follow the blue signs that you can't miss while driving on Sunset Boulevard between UCLA and Beverly Hills.

We stopped at a couple, asking how much the maps were, and I was surprised that the prices everywhere were the same: $10. You'd think somebody would be trying to undercut the competition. And you'd certainly think they'd be willing to negotiate (being such a cheapskate, I tried to dicker them down to $8. No luck.). I haven't looked into it, but it does make me wonder if the star-map business is controlled from the top.

The map we bought (I'm pretty sure they're all the same) was extensive, with at least 100 homes listed. The names ranged from the still hip (Brad Pit and Angelina Joie) to the nearly forgotten (Engelbert Humperdink). Madonna's house is surrounded by the tallest and solidest hedge I've ever seen.

Most of the addresses are for homes that the said star had sold long ago and probably occupied now by some real-estate mogul or accountant. We went to Jackie Chan's house, which was unoccupied, probably to be sold to someone who is almost certainly a lot less acrobatic.

But this was a great way to feel like we were not just driving around the city we've lived in for decades. This was a totally new town. A town in which idiots buy cheap maps with famous people’s addresses on them and drive around hoping to catch a glimpse of celebrity. We’ve left work-a-day, whatever L.A. for an L.A. full of movie stars, gated estates, and Disneyland. If that's the L.A. you want to see, then get ready to suspend your sense of irony and buy a star map!