Puerto Vallarta

Although everything worked, the furnishings lacked inspiration, and the general feel of the place was tired and dated. The décor was painted-white plaster with ochre accents and wooden doors with lattice inserts. These doors fronted everything because all the "furniture"--dressers, sofa, writing desk, and wardrobe--was built in. The "sofa" was decorated with foam cushions in a floral red, orange, yellow, and green. The room with the kitchenette had three straight-back wooden chairs with rattan seats in front of the counter for meals, a similarly styled stool for the "writing desk" and a double Murphy bed. There was a sink/makeup alcove and adjacent bathroom with shower, toilet, and retractable clothesline (a bathing suit did not dry overnight). A large surprise was the lack of hair dryer, especially as we had not brought our bulky one along.

The bedroom had another bathroom with a tub. There was a small round table with two straight-back chairs and a king-size bed with a bedspread to match the floral pattern on the couch next door.

You accessed the unit with a card, and then each half was accessed by a key, so presumably, each room could be rented out separately. Accessed from each half through sliding patio doors was a balcony with two green plastic patio chairs and a small table. If you did not know your neighbors, you surely would get to know them quickly with this arrangement. The balcony overlooked the pool area and beyond that the ocean, and we very much enjoyed sitting out there, sipping a drink. Our balcony had flower boxes, but they had not been tended in quite some time, and the dirt was littered with cigarette butts—-gross!

The maid did come daily to make the bed and do some housekeeping and also left towel animals (actually the same towel swan) and assorted flowers made out of toilet paper and pothos leaves (small wonder the plants along the corridors were looking a little sparse).

The complex is huge, with many different buildings, not all of which are timeshare. There are two large freeform pools, several bars and open-air restaurants, shops, a deli, and a gym. Daily activities--dance lessons, Spanish lessons, aerobics, etc.--are posted by the towel shack.

• Unit Type: 1 Bedroom
• Activities: Good
• Amenities: Good
• Unit Satisfaction: Good
• Family Friendliness: Good
• Service: Good

The grounds are beautifully landscaped, and it is very peaceful to walk about on the shaded paths. The lobby is absolutely spectacular—you feel as if you are in a different world with the music playing—very serene. There are many different areas to explore, and a shuttle bus takes one around. You can also travel about on a small train, electric boats, or kayaks. There were plenty of lounge chairs around the large, interconnected pools and also plenty of chairs on the beach, some of which were strategically placed under palapas. Brown sand on the beach would probably be very hot in warmer months, and presumably, the water would be warmer too, but in January, when we were there, there were not many people in the water.

• Unit Type: 2 Bedroom
• Activities: Excellent
• Amenities: Excellent
• Unit Satisfaction: Excellent
• Family Friendliness: Excellent
• Service: Excellent

Cuetos is just a few blocks from the sport stadium, in a rather dark part of Avenida Brasilia. You would walk right by, except that there is someone posted at the door, inviting strollers in and welcoming those who are looking and might be lost.

We were quickly seated, and tortilla chips, delicious fresh salsa, and two other tasty dipping sauces were brought to the table. The specials were artfully arranged on a large platter so we could see what we were ordering. There was also an extensive menu. My husband had the jumbo shrimp, and they were enormous—overflowing the plate and absolutely fresh and delicious. I had mouthwatering sea bass, accompanied by vegetables, rice, and garlic bread. For dessert, we shared "flan", which was like a crème brulee—the perfect end to a marvelous meal.

Our meal cost 370 pesos for two. Service was prompt, and there were strolling musicians to serenade us. By the time we left, there was not a single table unoccupied.

We only learned about mojitos after we departed and had ordered beer and margaritas, although we did wonder what that drink with the leaves in it was. At a table adjacent to ours was a very pregnant lady drinking beer who was slaking the thirst of her toddler by giving him sips of the same. We ordered the all-inclusive specials, which could easily have been shared by two. Tasty though the filling was (pork for one sandwich and Creole chicken on another), I felt the bread had been left out just a bit too long, as it was somewhat dry.

Forty minutes after leaving Puerto Vallarta, we arrived at our destination. We were shown a how-to and safety video and were outfitted with harnesses, helmets, and sunglasses. Each of us received a pulley, and then we had two practice runs on shorter zip-lines close to our start point. These practice runs enabled the guides to determine whether we would be able to complete the rest of the tour without incident.

The first time was exciting and scary at the same time. At each zip line was a guide at either end to assist us with our pulleys and guide us to a stop. We were shown how to "brake" by rotating our pulley and swinging our legs to the sides. Too much braking and we would not make it all the way to the end of the zip line; too little braking would cause us to smash into the platform at the end of the line. We were a group of 15 ranging in age from the early 20’s to late 60’s—there was even one great-grandmother. In all, there were about 12 zip lines, and once we got going, it was absolutely exhilarating to be zipping through the treetops swinging over valleys, waterfalls, and rivers. One line was 400m long, and we were told the we traveled up to 50 miles per hour. For some people, the climbing up the paths and steps to get to the higher up zip lines was a bit challenging, but there were plenty of opportunities for breaks and there were water stations along the way.

At the end of our tour, we were offered a small bottle of beer and shots of different tequilas, which were also available for purchase. There was a waterfall and small freshwater pool, and some of the people from our group elected to take a quick dip in the cool water. Also on the premises were a restaurant, a small souvenir shop, washrooms, and vendor stands. On our tour was a videographer who filmed the whole expedition, and you could buy the video for $40. Since you could not take your camera with you, it was the only way to show your friends back home what you did on your vacation!

Our boat was a two-decker with a partially covered upper deck, so one could choose to sit in the sun or the shade on the plastic patio chairs (not the greatest if you suffer from back problems). There was a perfectly adequate and clean bathroom area below deck (what a relief!). Our tour started with a continental breakfast of rolls, bananas, or apples and juice. The lady sitting near me pitched little pieces of the bread over the rail, causing a great deal of attention from the sea gulls.

It took us almost an hour and a half to arrive at Los Arcos. Before we arrived, we were outfitted with snorkels, masks, lifejackets, and fins (I was very impressed that the crew member managed to guess everyone’s fin size on the first try, just by looking at their feet!). Most people seemed to be wearing their bathing suits under their clothes, but there was a small area adjacent to the bathroom where you could change if you brought your suit.

The snorkeling at Los Arcos was disappointing, but I read of other reviewers who were happy with it—perhaps they swam closer to the arches. The water was not clear, and it was on the cooler side, but it was January, so what could you expect. I did a once around the boat, saw two schools of fish, and got back on board.

We made a stop at Las Animas to let out the people who did not want to do the trek to the waterfall and then we motored to Quimixto for the trip to the waterfall, which one could do walking or by horseback (see my horseback riding review).

Lunch was included at La Caracol on Las Animas beach, and there was some time to splash in the waves and relax in the sun on the beach. The food was substantial and enjoyed by all.

There was an open bar during the trip back and forth where you could get beer and margaritas. I was surprised that most people restrained themselves to the degree they did. A highlight of the tour was two porpoises swimming under the bow for several miles. The forward deck was very crowded, as we were all trying to get a glimpse and a photograph of these delightful creatures hitching a ride on the wake of our boat.

There were plenty of horses available to choose from and lots of personnel to help with the selecting of your mount and adjusting your saddle and stirrups. The horses were obviously used to being ridden by anyone and quickly made their way to the waterfall. The trail started in the small seaside village of Quimixto, which consisted of less than 20 shacks along a main road. From there, it crossed small streams, which had strategically placed stones and planks for those who would rather not get their feet wet, and wound ever higher up through the jungle towards the waterfall. At the waterfall was a restaurant or "beer trap," as some called it. You could not sit down in a chair to rest unless you ordered something. You had to pay 5 pesos to use the toilets, as well. Some people chose to cool off in the pool at the base of the waterfall, and others were jumping in from the sides. There were some spectacular views, and the waterfall was a sight to behold; however, the trek up and back was hot and very dusty for those who were walking, about a 35-minute trip each way. In January, the temperature was tolerable—this trek would be unbearable if the temperature was higher, as there was a fairly steep gradient to negotiate. If you were totally exhausted by the time you got to the restaurant, there were horses there that you could ride back for only 50 pesos!