Bantering in Bangkok

Our Bangkok holiday has a whole list of memorable moments. Here's just a few.

The sight of Buddhist monks; the smells and noises of China Town and the numerous street market stalls; the variety of food for sale, the grandeur of the Grand Palace, the business of the Chao Phraya River; our first viewing of a Buddha; the excitement of the Tuk-Tuk ride.

I can’t describe, in a few words, the mixed emotions we experienced on our River Kwai trip, nor the serenity we enjoyed at the Wiman Mek Palace.

It is impossible to experience Bangkok without being influenced by the people – they were so friendly and obliging and we never felt threatened or intimidated. We saw apparent poverty (people out at night sorting through other people’s rubbish to take out items to recycle), people working incredibly long hours, but never did we see aggression and violence.

Our culinary experiences were also memorable – you’ve not sampled Thai food until you dine out in Thailand.

In short, I think all our senses were stimulated in this amazing city.

Quick Tips:

As you walk around town, there is no shortage of pamphlets lying around telling you what's on or where best to eat. We took these for reference, but tended to chat up the hotel staff for that kind of advice. There is no lack of things to do and people to tell you what is best. Make up your own mind before you set off.

Best Way To Get Around:

There’s a range of transport options in Bangkok:

We only risked the buses on a couple of occasions. You need to be absolutely sure where you’re heading for and I’d avoid them if you making a long or complicated journey. They are so slow and extremely vulnerable to the regular Bangkok traffic jams.

Everyone said don’t risk the Tuk-Tuk. We did and I’d highly recommend them to you. We always negotiated our price first (we were told by the hotel what the top going rate should be) and never paid more than 50Bts for a journey across town. It’s the best way to see Bangkok and avoid the traffic jams, but it’s not for the faint-hearted.

Taxis have a bit more comfort than Tuk-Tuks – same kind of price but are more likely to get stuck in traffic

River taxi is the way to go. Cheap, no hassle, time to chat to your fellow travellers, great views and no traffic jams or fumes.

The Sky-Train is quick, runs on time and is not subject to delay. However, I reckon it lacks character and is totally inflexible. I’d say avoid this one unless you’re in a hurry.

This 550-bedroom, five-star hotel is on the banks of the Chao Phraya River. On arrival at the front door, a traditionally dressed concierge welcomed us. He must have been sweltering in the heat, but he managed a broad smile, opened the door, and escorted us through the grand entrance to the reception desk.

The bedroom was tastefully decorated and boasted two queen-size beds, satellite TV (although you probably won’t have time to view it), and a welcoming orchid on our pillow. We had a great view of all the activity on the river from our pleasant seating area through the full floor-to-ceiling glass wall. Although not extravagant, the hotel room was exceptionally comfortable and roomy. Air-conditioning was standard and indeed essential. Although we were told that the room had a safe, this was not the case, but reception offered a free safe deposit box on the ground floor. This did not pose problems, and it offered peace of mind whilst we were out on our travels.

There was a range of services available in the hotel, including a range of restaurants (although we always ate out), shops (including the obligatory tailors), health club, two swimming pools, sauna, hot tub, and a tennis court.

The hotel information service was always available and provided free maps of Bangkok, with good advice about rates to pay for services and the best forms of transport. A superb way to get around from the hotel is to use the river taxi caught from the hotel jetty. If you want a taxi, it’s best that you ask the hotel to sort it for you, as they will ensure a fair price at the beginning of your trip and woe betide the taxi driver who tries to inflate the price.

We spent some time in the hotel lobby. It’s huge, the chairs are very comfortable, and there was a range of entertainment throughout the day. We listened to a traditionally dressed Thai woman playing traditional Thai music, relaxed under the spell of a solo pianist, and caught the end of a jazz ensemble. The décor in the entrance is large and impressive. This, together with the indoor water feature and entertainment, sets a pleasant ambience for the hotel.

The hotel proved to be a good base for exploring Bangkok. We could safely walk around the area and were quick in accessing a local street market. In a 10-minute ride, you’re in Chinatown and near the river taxi, but who would want to rush?

At the end of a long day, we received a traditional Thai greeting from the reception staff, as the lift was called for us and, on entering our room, we saw the sheets had been folded down for us and there on the pillow, alongside our nightwear, was a freshly cut orchid. A lesser mortal would say, "There’s romance, for you!"

We did feel pampered and special in this hotel, and by Western standards, it’s not expensive.

Our first glimpse of the Grand Palace was from the river taxi. Our appetite was whetted and we hurried along the jetty towards the Palace. We had been warned that people would try and dissuade us from visiting by saying that the Palace was closed, but they could take us to other Bangkok sites. This did not happen and we were ushered to the entrance gate by one of the many guides. Remember to respect the dress code (no shorts or skimpy garments).

This is a vast site, and before entering, we marvelled at the colours and variety of the buildings as they were silhouetted against the clear blue Bangkok skies. This sense of wonderment did not leave us from the time we entered the site to the time we departed. At the entrance I stood awe inspired as I was confronted with a mass of gold leaf and immense statues brightly coloured and often grotesque in appearance. All visitors are dwarfed by the grandeur of individual buildings, and like a procession of ants, we all trail round the site, pausing to be amazed by the sight around the next corner.

Make sure that you walk through the cloisters and take time to admire some of the 150 murals that adorn their walls, and consider the story of the triumph of good over evil as told in their allegorical images. Walk around the model of Angkor Wat – it’s the only time you will tower over one of these buildings.

Of course, no visit to the Grand Palace is complete without a view of the Emerald Buddha. You must leave your shoes outside (this is the case when you enter any holy place) and there was a ceremony, which involved a flower and water, that you were encouraged to undertake before admission. Don’t be tempted to photograph this Buddha, as it is viewed to be offensive, but just enjoy the spectacle. This 26-inch jade Buddha, discovered in the early 1400s after lightening struck an ancient "stupa", sits above the ornate wooden throne in the Wat Phra Keo and is viewed as the principal Buddha image of Bangkok. You can actually feel the reverence that this building commands.

Outside of the inner palace, marvel at the Dusit Maha Prasat, one of the original Palace buildings, and its four-tier tiled roofs and magnificent seven-tiered golden spire. This area of the grounds has an amazing collection of ancient topiary, which would happily be portrayed in the surreal work of Dali.

The Grand Palace represents a range of structures and is a three-dimensional "textbook" of Thai decorative techniques, including mosaics of glass or porcelain, painted murals, richly carved and gilded roof supports, doors and windows adorned with mother-of-pearl inlay or gold and black lacquer work, multi-coloured tiled roofs, huge brightly decorated statues, bronze statues. All of this lovingly restored in 1982 for the Bangkok bicentennial celebrations.

It’s hard for me not to enthuse about this site, and I’m sure you will too!

We started early (6.30 a.m.) and our first stop was at the Jeath War Museum. It’s not a huge place, and it’s built as if it was the prisoner’s hut. There are a variety of artifacts, including some of the bombs that destroyed the bridge, photographs of the prisoners, drawings by the prisoners and a number of press cuttings. A chilling reminder to the futility of war and the cruelty that man can bestow on man.

Next we visited the Chong Kai War cemetery. You cannot remain unmoved by this, especially if you examine the headstones, note the ages of the "victims," and recall the quote from the Jeath Museum, "If you work hard, you will be treated well, but if you do not work hard, you will be punished." The cemetery is kept immaculate, the grass freshly mowed, the dead flowers all de-headed and the headstones neatly cleaned and polished (whilst we were there, workers were conscientiously maintaining the plot).

And then onto Kanchanaburi , the start of our rail journey on "Death Railway." We had a little time in the town to sightsee. There are some old engines here and the obligatory souvenir shop, but mostly people take the time to walk the length of the bridge. You’ll need to carefully pick your way over the sleepers; it would be fairly easy to fall between. Passing other tourists sometimes needed great agility! Over the other side of the river, there’s a small market just asking to be visited. Nothing special, but worth a look.

We then waited for the train to make our journey. We had reserved seats, but our guide indicated, after numerous clandestine discussions with Railway Officials, that she would have to refund the booking fee because the train we were expecting had been delayed. Indeed, two trains had not left the terminus yet, and the next one into Kanchanaburi may or may not have spaces for us. Luckily, the train arrived before we wilted under the heat, and hard wooden seats in crammed, hot carriages beckoned us. We balanced precariously on the seats and crossed over the bridge that previously we had walked, and then a slight acceleration of the train and a total collapse of our seat. It really is hard to retain dignity as you slide onto the floor!

The journey along the route was stuffed with scenery. Views of the Kwai Yai River, the Three Pagodas Pass, small market towns, fields of industrious workers and, in the middle of nowhere, a gigantic reclining gold Buddha (keep your eyes open on the righthand side of the train!). I spent a bit of time standing at the back of the train. What an experience - but remember to hang on, as the ride’s somewhat bumpy. The journey over the part of the track supported by giant wooden "trestles" feels incredibly precarious, but what a view and what a sensation.

You will be left with the questions why and how. I just don’t have the answer!

What a place, what buildings, what smells and sights.

Bangkok is a city we’d always wanted to visit and an experience we’ll never forget. On our first day, we caught the river taxi from our hotel and made our first blunder. I spotted a vacant seat on the crowded boat and directed my wife towards it. Thai passengers looked disapprovingly and an English speaker said it was not possible for my wife to sit down, but I could. Bewildered, I sat down. Next to me was a brightly clad Buddhist Monk, and it was evident that women should not impinge on their personal space. This was our first lesson in local etiquette. He was, however, quite happy for me to sit down, and with his limited English, we chatted.

The view down the river was full of contradictions: the opulence of the shopping centres and lavish hotels to the river houses verging on squalor. Then the incredible sight of the Wat Arun followed closely, on our side of the river by Wat Phra Keo. This was where we disembarked; our intention was to wander aimlessly around the perimeter walls of The Grand Palace taking in any local sites. The place is awash with temples, and rapidly, against our better judgment, we were talking to a local. He claimed to be a teacher who wanted to practice his English on us and show us around the locality. We stated that we had no money to give for his time, and he said that it was fine because he wanted to share Thai culture with us. A con or not? It mattered not because we had only enough cash to see us back to the hotel. He took us to a super little temple and took pride in pointing out the statue to the King of Siam (of the King and I fame) and then bid his farewell. Not all people are predatory ones seeking cash from tourists. Perhaps we were foolish and lucky, but we did see part of Bangkok not normally seen by tourists.

We hailed a tuk-tuk, those three-wheeled, two-stroke vehicles, negotiated a price, and then hung on, as the driver accelerates at a speed that seems beyond the capability of the engine. You feel so vulnerable at the back, and as the emission of noxious fumes contributes to the already polluted Bangkok atmosphere, we wish that we’d taken advice and brought a smog-mask with us. After the fear of carbon monoxide poisoning subsides, we settle back and enjoy the trip. The traffic jam ahead is not for us as we shoot down a nearby alleyway, and the tuk-tuk finds every single pothole as we ricochet down this unmade road. We arrive back in one piece, and looking back, find the journey quite exhilarating. I would certainly recommend that you have at least one tuk-tuk ride whilst in Bangkok.

That night, we head off to the Silom Road, an important commercial centre and the home of Patpong, Bangkok’s centre of nightlife. This is a fascinating area, and if you are sensible, there is no reason why you should not enjoy the experience. There are numerous shops, jewelers, and street vendors. It’s here that you can find copies of almost all branded goods from Gucci, Polo, and Laurent to Rolex, Cartier, and Brietling. You want it? Then you’ll find it here, but make sure you don’t offer the asking price or expect a valid warranty! In the heart of Patpong you’ll be propositioned and offered massages, front seats at the sex shows, a chance to guess the gender of the model-like personages sitting at the entrances to the go-go bars. This does not seem like a grubby part of town, and you do need to remember that it is traditional in Thailand for the young male’s sex education to start with a visit to a brothel. Prostitution in Thailand does seem to be an acceptable part of life. Whilst here, check out the restaurants; there are plenty to choose from, and some, those full of locals, are worth a visit.

The Erawan Shrine is a recent construction, but it is still quite magnificent. Ensure you see this at night, as it is only then that you’ll appreciate the blaze of the candles and the importance attached to it by the many devotees.

I’d also recommend you seek out China Town. The alleyways making up China Town run for seven blocks and are chock-a-block with on-street food vendors (selling "edible" items far beyond my imagination) and market stalls selling textiles, clothing, kitchenware, toys, souvenirs, and other things. It’s a bustling place, but image as you walk down these allies how different it once was, with opium dens, gambling houses, and brothels - a haven for those who wished to pursue a debauched lifestyle!

On the outskirts of China Town we found Wat Traimit. This is famous for the solid gold Buddha that it houses. It’s difficult to conceive that this was only discovered in the 1950s, when a cement covered Buddha was accidentally dropped whilst moving it during construction work at another site. As it weighs in excess of 5 tons, it must have been quite an experience for all concerned. On our way back to the hotel, we saw, tucked up a side road off a busy roundabout, a hospital with an amazing little temple. They get everywhere, and like all temples that we’d seen, this too was crammed with worshippers.

Over the weekend, at Chatuchak Park, is a grand market. We had an early start and took a taxi, but as it’s opposite the Northern Bus Terminal, a bus journey would be straightforward. It’s a cracking market full of all the normal stalls (check out the spice stalls), and remember, barter for everything. Just down the road from the thousands of stalls in the weekend market is the permanent plant market. If you have any interest in gardening, you could spend a couple of hours strolling around the long rows of shops displaying ornamental trees and shrubs alongside pots and gardening tools. Additionally, you’ll see dazzling displays of flowering orchids. Who would have though that there so many varieties?

Having done the market we picked up a tuk-tuk and negotiated a great deal for the rest of the day. For 30bhts, he would drive us around some other key sites in Bangkok on the condition that we spent at least 10 minutes looking round a jewellery centre and a tailor’s shop (this was not a chore, as both experiences were of interest to us). He then picked up a fuel voucher, which obviously made the journey worth his while. First, he took us to the Golden Mount, the highest point of Bangkok, and at the top, reached by over 300 steps, is the oldest temple in Bangkok. This is an artificial hill and is recognised as an extremely holy place, but once, during the cholera epidemics, it was used as an open burial site for victims. There was no ceremony here, just a laying out near the temple, the then bodies rapidly devoured by vultures. If you get over its grizzly history, the view from the top is stupendous – all of Bangkok laid out in front of you. If you’re like me, you won’t be able to resist the temptation to ring the bells en route to the top and then marvel at the varieties of Buddhas on display inside the temple.

The next journey was to see the largest freestanding Buddha in Bangkok. It is huge and extremely difficult to photograph! Surrounding it were numerous souvenir shops, market stalls, and fast-food outlets. Somehow this didn’t seem right – perhaps we’d stumbled on the Thai version of Vegas!

We were then driven to the Democracy Monument, shown a few more temples, driven past a magnificent building very similar to Buckingham Palace, and then to our final stop at Wiman Mek Palace. This is a fantastic building in beautifully landscaped grounds. Originally a summerhouse on the island of Si Chang, it was moved to its present site in the early 1900s. The palace was originally built in 1868 and was the first house in Siam to have electricity. It was unoccupied shortly afterwards, remaining unused until it was re-opened in 1982 to mark Bangkok's bicentennial celebration. It’s European in style, but built in the Thai tradition, using teak wood and not a single nail. Apparently it is still used by the present king as his summer retreat. You must have a guided tour around this building, and they are very keen to ensure that you don’t break rank. Cameras are not allowed so just savour the superb rooms, lavish furnishings, and royal treasures. Keep an eye out for the oldest typewriter with Thai characters! In the grounds they have regular displays; we caught an elaborate exhibition of Thai dancers, and then enjoyed the gardens and waterscapes. The Royal Carriage Museum is also worth a call.

Our main disappointment was that we ran out of time – 3 days is just not enough!