A Party Girl's Guide to Amsterdam

As far as attractions, there are three that the visitor should absolutely not miss: the Rijksmuseum, the Anne Frank House, and the Dam. If you have more time, you should see the Artis Zoo, the Van Gogh museum and perhaps take a canal tour. There are also a few tourist attractions to skip: the Heineken Experience and the Sex Museum are a complete waste of time and money. Much of the joy of Amsterdam is not found in museums, old buildings or churches, but in simply getting out and walking around the city. Amsterdam is a very walkable city and whether you follow a tour or strike out on your own, you will find that the city itself is its own attraction.

Quick Tips:

Despite what many perceive as a seedy atmosphere, Amsterdam is not a dangerous city. While you should maintain a resonable amount of caution regarding your money (don't put your wallet in your backpocket, for example), you are in little danger of violent crime here. The police are quite friendly and speak English, should you have need of them.

Perhaps the most troubling aspect of an Amsterdam holiday is where to find accomodation. If you are willing to share a bath with others in the hotel, you can find a string of budget hotels along the Damrak and others in the Red Light District. Beware, however, that these locations can be quite noisy and sleep may not come early!

If you choose to indulge in soft drugs, use common sense. Do not buy from someone on the street and only smoke in approved areas (coffeeshops are the safest bet). The product sold in Amsterdam is significantly stronger than what most people find at home; feel free to enquire with the coffeeshop for a recommendation if you are not a pro. You'll find that taking it easy at first and not overdoing consumption will make for a much happier vacation.

Best Way To Get Around:

The hostel/hotel is located in a residential area of Amsterdam that is known for its coffeeshops. Barney's and Popeyes, two favorites, are close by. Hotel My Home is located on the second, third, and fourth floors of a very narrow townhouse. The steps to the landing are quite steep (see photo), so be prepared. The rooms are located on the third and fourth floors. There are a number of dorm rooms and a few private doubles. None of the rooms has private facilities, and toilets and showers are shared.

The rooms themselves are small, but clean. There is no air-conditioning or fans, which can make for a hot night. The bath facilities are kept cleaner than in many local hostels. You are given a key to the front door, so there is no curfew or lockout. However, if you lose the key, there may not be anyone around to let you in!

What made Hotel My Home a draw was its second floor lounge. A nice place to crash and meet fellow travelers while having a beer and a smoke. Or, you could just kick back and play some pool or watch TV. Sadly, the lounge is now closed most of the time: from 12am-6pm in the daytime and after 9pm at night. This means that you are left to find other places to relax and those places are usually expensive. Even when the lounge is open, they've taken away the cooler of cheap beer (you have to go down the street to find some) and I never saw the pool table in use. This would all be tolerable if their prices reflected it, but the prices charged here are equal to those of bigger places--such as the Flying Pig--that offer more amenities. I don't know what changed at Hotel My Home, but I know I will not be back.

The single redeeming point is that they still offer a proper breakfast: eggs cooked to order and toast. I'm not sure that it makes up for the rather expensive (by Amsterdam hostel standards) prices and the lack of amenities, but it is a nice touch. I can't recommend you stay here unless you can't book into one of the newer hostels that offers more value for your Euro.

Everything here is strictly a la carte. You order your steak by the gram and cut and any side dishes come separate. We ordered the melted provolone appetizer, which was a nice start and served with toasted bread. I opted for the small filet, which came cooked correctly, but lacked good seasoning. It was a bit on the tough side, but tolerable. My baked potato was large and cooked well. Our entire party felt the food was well prepared and filling, but -- again -- not inspiring at all.

We also had a bottle of Syrah with our meal. The wine list was limited, but for the amount had a nice selection. Our first choice was not available, so they substituted a higher priced wine at the same cost. I didn't try the dessert menu. There are many similar Argentinean steakhouses in Amsterdam at the moment and I would be tempted to try one that was not a chain were I to have steak again. I can recommend Gaucho's if you are looking for a reasonably prepared steak, can't get in anywhere else and are on the company tab. Otherwise, you would be better off spending your euros in another place.

I haven't seen the Amsterdam location get terribly busy, but you may want to allow a few extra minutes to get seated as reservations aren't taken. While most restaurants in Amsterdam close down early, the kitchen here is open until 11:30pm. That makes it the perfect stop after catching Boom Chicago in nearby Leidseplein or after a long day of sightseeing!

The museum's permanent exhibit tells the history of Jews in Amsterdam from the 1600s to the present and has a number of very nice display articles, such as a Torah Ark and many objects from everyday Jewish life, such as seder plates and challah covers. As its housed in a former synagogue, you can also see a mikvah (a ritual bath) and see the layout of a Jewish temple. Jews were largely accepted in the Netherlands and the museum describes in great detail their intergration into Dutch culture and the impact Jews made in the Netherlands. I was surprised to see very little mention of the Holocaust in the musuem, perhaps understanding that the Anne Frank House does a very complete job at that task. It was, still, a bit disconcerting to see it almost skipped.

The permanent exhibit is not large, though it spans two floors, and is supplemented by a children's museum and special exhibits which rotate. There is a cafe on the ground floor and a small gift shop. While I wouldn't list this museum in the Top 10 sights to see in Amsterdam, it was very well laid out and, being off the beaten track, much less crowded than others. If you go, try to make use of one of the museum discount cards. Entrance fees were 6,50 euros when I went and I feel that is a bit steep for the size of the exhibit. Also, consider going on a Friday, when the Waterlooplein flea market is open. It's the best in the city!

If you decide to while away some time in one of these establishments, go in with a fair amount of cash and be prepared to part with it. From our visit, I only saw that The Bulldog was popular with British soccer fans who, presumably, get a better exchange rate to the Euro. With the abundance of good coffeshops and bars in Amsterdam, there is no reason to waste time here.

Double Reggae's theme, naturally, is reggae -- although the painting of Jim Morrison on the window threw me off a bit. I wasn't aware the Doors were considered reggae? The music is a selection of classic reggae (Marley, Tosh, etc.) along with some more obscure selections that will interest music fans. The shop itself is very dimly lit and narrow. The 'bar' is to the left and seating on stools and in booths is along the right and in the back. There are also bathrooms located in the back. The seating is not particularly comfortable -- no cushions or couches -- but is rather basic.

The reason I enjoyed Double Reggae is that it was not a coffeeshop full of hype or geared to gouge gawking tourists. The staff was friendly and helpful. The drinks (limited here to non-alcoholic selections such as coffee and tea) were fairly priced and there was no pressure to buy from their menu, which we did not. Rather, Double Reggae was a place where it was easy to spend a few hours chatting with friends, sipping tea and enjoying the day or evening. It was never crowded, that we saw, and was filled with a nice mix of locals and relaxed tourists. I will note that because Double Reggae opens early, it also closes before some of the other local coffeeshops.

Boom Chicago performs in a theatre on the busy Leidseplein. In this location they also run the Boom Bar!, which is open from mid-afternoon on and has English speaking bar staff with good cocktails (hard to find here). The current shows are run 8 times a week and are a mix of prepared skits and improvisational comedy, which involves audience participation. During the week, shows run at 8:30pm and cost 17 Euro. Friday offers the running show at 8:15(19 Euro) or the special late nite show at 11:30 for only 11 Euro. Saturday offers the running show for 19 Euro at 7:30 or 17 Euro at 10:45. In summer months, a Sunday show is added at 7:30pm, which costs 17 Euro. Boom Chicago also has ongoing special deals and other offerings, such as workshops for aspiring comedians and amateur nights. Tickets can be purchased at the Boom Chicago box office starting around noon. While there, be sure to pick up a copy of the Boom Guide!. This irreverent guide to Amsterdam is the best we've found.

There are two ways to get a good seat for Boom Chicago shows, all of which are first-come, first-served. You can arrive approximately 2 hours early and have dinner at the theatre or you can arrive approximately an hour before show time and grab the seats that are left. We did not eat at the theatre this trip, but the food is passable, if a bit overpriced. You certainly will not be unhappy with the service, which is top notch. The closer you are to the stage, the easier it is to interact with the comedians. If you are not interested in audience participation, you may want to sit on the balcony. Throughout the show, waiters will offer up drinks and snacks with quick turnaround. Drink prices are good for Amsterdam and a pitcher of Heineken is a very reasonable 14 Euro! Be prepared for a bit of heckling if you're American, these performers take the piss out of whatever the current Administration is up to -- it's all in good fun and the Dutch aren't immune to some ribbing, either. Overall, I would highly encourage you to consider a night at the Boom Theatre. If you like comedy and fun, you won't be sorry!

Whenever you come to Amsterdam, there will be something happening on the square. In spring, you can find a carnival with rides and a Ferris wheel. In summer and fall, living statues perform and the locals take to the benches for an afternoon break. In winter even, you will find people feeding the pigeons. It is not uncommon for political rallies to be held in the square at various times. These very rarely are anything to worry about. When we were last there, the Socialists were holding an anti-war protest.

The selection of drinks at Kadinsky is the usual run for a coffeeshop: teas, cappuccinos, sodas and energy drinks. The staff is courteous and efficient, but you will need to order at the counter rather than being served. Prices are far less than you will pay in the bigger tourist shops (Bulldog for example) and in line with other local coffeeshops. The only small complaint is that there really is not much seating and you can get crowded out.

The first thing to understand is that the boat will not leave until it is full. We were greatly misled by this and got to spend 30 minutes sitting in a boat that was not air-conditioned (read: sauna), waiting for it to fill up. It was not exceedingly warm out the day we cruised, so if you are doing this tour in summer, plan ahead. The boat heads out first to the harbor and you will spend a good 20 minutes floating out there, rather than in the canals. This was fine with me, but was a disappointment to others. The loudspeakers will announce key highlights in 4 languages: Dutch, German, English and French. Because of this, the detail given to each is slim. If you plan on taking pictures, sit in a row that has a window that opens, otherwise you will be taking pictures through the window, as you will see in my shots for this entry.

After leaving the harbor, you will be taken through the locks to the Kaisergracht, Prinsengracht, and Herrengracht. You will see the Anne Frank House, Westerkerk and other major sites of Amsterdam as you are traveling. One of the most famous parts of the canal tour, the 7 bridges, was skipped on our tour due to canal congestion, I assume. We started to turn to see it and then turned back around, with no announcement as to reason. This is the part of the canals where you can see 7 bridges in a row and I wish we had been able to catch it.

While a canal tour is a staple of Amsterdam tourism, I can't really recommend this line. Not having tried others, I don't know if they offer better tours. Given the cost, 9 euro, I would hope for more time in the canals or at least a live guide. Our captain didn't say a word to us until the end, when he asked for tips. A better way to get the same experience would be to rent a boat or a canal bike and make the tour yourself. Just watch out for all the canal tour boats. They're everywhere!

. Artis is one of the older zoos in Europe and you will note that many of the buildings are over 100 years old. That means that the exhibits tend to be smaller than those of larger zoos in the United States. As you enter, the path begins on the left with the planetarium and the camel exhibit. The focus here is on keeping a large selection of animals, rather than big numbers of a specific type. You will see the favorites: lions, giraffes, zebras, polar bears and sea lions. The exhibits are self-guided. There are no 'shows' or guided tours available of Artis and the size of the park means that the paths and exhibit houses are laid closely together, making an easy walk.

The highlight for me was the aquarium, as I am a fish geek. Artis has a varied selection of European and American freshwater species, North Sea saltwater species and Reef fish. None of the tanks are extremely large (no great white sharks), but they are all well maintained and stocked. The aquarium is nice retreat from an overly hot day, as it is dark and cool. There are 2 levels to the aquarium; follow the signs and you will not get lost!

There are food stands and a cafe to meet your snacking needs on site and many restaurants in the surrounding area. Artis is also quite close to the NEMO science museum, which could make for a full day of fun for the kids!

Coffeeshops are places that are specifically set aside for soft drug use, whereas coffeehouses are not. Coffeehouses are just that: a place for coffee. There are also a limited number of Cafe/Bars in Amsterdam. These are places where both drinking and soft drug use are allowed. In the majority of the city's coffeeshops, alcohol is not allowed. However, you will find a selection of coffees, teas, shakes, and deserts. Outside of coffeeshops, use discretion when lighting up. Some restaurants do not mind joints, while others will be offended. Your best bet is to ask beforehand.

You purchase hash or marijuana from a menu. Each coffeeshop will have its own menu, and sometimes a dedicated dealer who works separately from the staff. As a minimum, the menu should tell you the cost of each offering and give you a basic idea of the type of high provided. If you don't have a lot of experience, it would serve you well to ask for a recommendation from the dealer. They are experts and are there to help you have a good time. The going rate is somewhere around 7 Euro a gram, depending on strength and quality. Most coffeeshops also sell rolling papers and many have pipes they can loan you if you prefer that method.

It is not necessary to purchase drugs in each coffeeshop. You may bring your own into any coffeeshop, but you will almost certainly be asked to purchase a drink as you partake. There is no rush to hit the streets, so relax and enjoy the experience. Coffeeshops are a place to kick back and take in a facet of Amsterdam - even if you don't smoke.

Just to make you appreciate how many bicycles there are in Amsterdam, note that most Amsterdammers have two bicycles: a nice one to use to go on dates and a cruddy old one to hit people with. That means there are more bicycles than people in Amsterdam. Every where you look there is either a bicycle or cyclist. They even built a garage in the city especially for bicycles. You will see bicycles locked to most any stationary object, even other bicyles.

Bikers will not stop at cross walks, stop signs, stop lights or for other bikers. If you have the audacity to cross in front of them, they will aim directly for you with vicious grins on their faces. Their feeling seems to be you have wandered into their domain and you deserve what you get. These hard-core bikers think the kamikazes were wimps and that New York taxi drivers are mere amateurs. Using what may be stealth technology or some form of camouflage, some bikers have found a way to remain hidden from sight until the very last second. They appear suddenly from behind stopped cars, busses, and trams forcing the unwary pedestrian to either jump back or sprint forward to remain unscathed.

Most of the wider streets have median areas where you may be able to stop safely just in case you can't make it all the way across the street in one sprint. However, this median may only be about 10 inches wide. Being stuck on this narrow strip of safe territory can be a harrowing experience; however, you should remember that trams run on tracks. Imagine being the frog in the old video game "Frogger" and you will have a rough idea of what it's like to cross an Amsterdam avenue.

The narrower streets are a different story altogether. While there are no trams to dodge, the cyclists and the cars now compete for the same cobblestone bandwidth and the poor pedestrian is forced to look both ways simultaneously to avoid tragedy. You must do this very quickly because the conditions can change so fast that only one glance to either side has caused people to miss that stealth cyclist. Some of the narrow streets have the added feature of being bordered by a canal on one side making it unnecessary for you to cross at all. However, you should forget about walking side-by-side with your loved one on these streets. In many places the sidewalks are so narrow that you are forced to walk single-file until you reach your destination.

So remember if you survive in Amsterdam long enough to make it to your destination, whatever it may be, just remember, you got lucky this time. Somewhere out there, there's a bicycle with your name on it.