Fun, Sun, and Sand

Don't miss the trip to the previous ruler's palace, he had over 75 of them. A boat ride on the Tigris is an absolute must! Local cuisine is a must try. If none can be found, the military provides a fine choice in culinary experience, the Meal Ready to Eat (MRE).

Quick Tips:

The flight into Baghdad International may be a bit bumpy due to what military pilots so fondly dub "Nap of the Earth" and low level combat manuevers. Their courteous crew members are quite observant and easily translate your particular shade of blue into needing a vomit bag, which they happily offer you. Exchange your currency before getting into country, they haven't any. A few dollars can get you a million or so Iraqi Dinars.

Best Way To Get Around:

Driving in and around the city is not advised unless escorted by Military Police and crew served weapon. Large, public transit vehicles aren't recommended for travel. Most are used for ammunition and local weapon storage. Also a likely target of the US Forces. Taxis are available but as of yet, no one has any place to go.

The palace was larger than life and expansive. Walking into the foyer was like being a mouse walking into a person's home. The walls, floors, and pillars were all cold marble, mostly white and neutrally colored tile. The ceilings were brightly colored in, oddly enough, Easter pastels: blues, pinks, yellows. The detail of the work was sloppy and nothing like you might imagine. The giant chandeliers immediately catch the eye as you enter the rooms where they are hanging. But again, the detail was less than exquisite with beads made of genuine Iraqi plastic.

The bathrooms were the most luxurious spot in the palace. Real mirrors with nicely ornate faucets and tubs. There were also nice door and ceiling moldings that made for a bigger feel. Although probably not real, the fixtures were gold and well kept. Not a picture was left on the walls, nor many furniture pieces to see, only a few hutches left. The obviously absent decor, of course, took from the overall comfortable feeling of our stay. The surroundings guest quarters were across a palace mote. All in all the accommodations were as imagined but with less flare and comfort than desired, considering the long arduous journey we'd made.

Whether on the road or stopping to build our own little village, these camping accommodations were more than comfortable.

While traveling as one big family, we had the choice of several different sleeping arrangements. One might feel like having the crisp, April air refresh their lungs for the evening. If so, then speeping on the comfy hood of the Hummer was your choice. No body fills a sleeping bag with goosedown like the Army does. Full and plenty warm! On clear nights, the sky is brilliantly abundant with the same stars you gaze toward. Moonlight brightly shines off the light colored sand giving way to pathways and secure footing. More than it might do for the dark pavement of civilization. If opting for inside vehicle accommodations, just scoot aside your M-16 rifle (ensure safety is on), lay down your personal Army issue air mattress, use your gas mask as a pillow, and voila, fit for a king! This was my preference and quite comfortable!

If stopping for a longer stay, pitching a tent would be advisable. This makes for decent cover from the occasional late night wind and sand storms. If lucky enough to have a longer stay, take the time to make it more comfortable with porch seating to enjoy the evening air and stars. The porch can also serves for entertaining guests. The tent also give you daytime cover from the desert sun's punishing rays. Camouflauge is also recommmended for visual concealment from the occasional hostile. If you forgot your window-mounted air conditioner, just roll up the tent sides during the day -- yes, it gets quite toasty!

I found the dining in Iraq and Baghdad to be the worst experience the entire trip. Although the meals from camp to camp varied widely, none compared to my lovely wife's home cooking. Few camps had fresh fruits and vegatables. Even fewer had ice cream, the American favorite. Those that did were "hot spots" and always crowded. Reservations required, must have ID card to enter.

Further North into the country the food was far less fresh and served from a can. Yes, chicken with gravy and stuffing...in a can. Cubed eggs, biscuits, sausage, corn beef hash...in a can. The always edible waffle comes in a sealed pouch, which, believe it or not is quite good if eaten before the 120 degree heat and sand gobble them up. The canned pie filling toppings make the waffle the most enjoyable part of breakfast.

When away from camp or on the road, the infamous MRE was plentiful. Several new MRE menus are now available. Beef enchilada and hamburger to name my favorites. The hamburger comes with two slices of wheat snack bread. If warmed up properly with your handy-dandy heater makes this meal the most American thing about the deployment (I mean vacation). Add the included barbecue sauce and cheese packets and you're right back home at the local greasy diner...gotta love that!

Layer your Western style beans, picante sauce, and jalapeno cheese across your enchilada pouch and each bite becomes a delectable surprise of spicy Mexican flavor, reminiscent of the Old Town district in the beautiful San Diego, CA.

The chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry protein shakes were a wonderful surprise in many of the new MREs. This became the new bartering food...nothing is free, not even to the Freedom Fighters.

Ambiance was missing completely during the dining experience in Iraq. Occassionally, the eating environment took on an odd, dangerous feeling. Like the vulnerable Serengeti giraffe stooping slowly and precariously for water, wondering if he's just taken his last sip.

The river was narrow, which gave us a feeling we were being closed in on. The river itself was serene and cleaner than expected. The banks were shallow, giving an even more narrow feeling to the river. The locals standing on the outer banks didn't help this particular vacation experience and gave us a curious, anxious feeling. The few splashes of water in our faces by the boat's quick turns avoiding suspicious floating debris made this ride a must!

The discrepancy between the small communities on either side of the river was unusual. One side's land was rich and fertile with flower gardens and small, fruitful farms stretching the river's length. While the river's other side was dry, devoid of colorful vegetation, and desolate. The mud huts sprinkled along the riverbank provided surreal proof our American living conditions are truly glorious!

These performers sure know how to cheer up a down soldier. For the first performance we caught one of our very own team members in an unlikely makeover attempt. In a hilarious gesture to get sent home for insanity, he reminded me of Klinger on M*A*S*H. This guy bought the customary outfit at the local PX and wore it in the vicinity, hoping the Military Police would take him into custody. He figured they'd send him back to the States for questioning. Luckily, we foiled his fraudulent enemy impersonation and took him into custody ourselves. We kept him under close supervision for another grueling month. After several sessions of counseling we decided to send him home anyhow. Five months out here is enough for anyone.

Performance #2 is a bunch of Infantry soldiers just over the Iraqi border only days after the ground war started. Due to the stress of battle, their minds switched into a self-defense mode and played a trick on them. They all thought they were in Hawaii hanging ten on the big island, and very happy to see more local "howlies" with them on the beach.

Performance #3 was a solo. During a bad sandstorm this soldier (vacationer) was trying to get from one zone of fresh air to another while holding his breath in the process. Our "Star Search" cameras stopped him and low and behold, he's got an entry for one of the better human blow fish impersonations I've ever seen. Either that, or he's playing the "air tuba". A great performance regardless which way you slice it.

Performace #4 is a local favorite, no pun intended (yeah right!). This young man went all out for his one shot at fame. Not only did he lift his apparently broken leg high into the air while balancing on one crutch and the other leg, he slammed it back down on the pavement to scurry closer to us as we slowly drove by. That had to hurt! We thought he was going to run over and club us the way he brandished his left crutch. Watch out buddy, you could put an eye out with that thing! Enjoy!

Since a picture is worth a thousand words, I'll let the artwork speak for itself and be brief.

Jordan. I was on a short trip to here for a change of command ceremony and snapped this. What more can you say. BEAUTIFUL.

Black and White Entry. Soldier giving a haircut to another. The B&W photo gives it a neat nostalgic feel.

Bad Painting. It sure is! Yes, that is my team standing in front.

Smart Guys. Hopefully unobjectionable to you. What brilliance to sneak sexual self expression into your mission . . . while at war. I like the Marines now!

The amenities from place to place differ widely depending on your choice of vacation spot. If you desired "palace" accommodations, that is what you got. During our palace visit there was no running water or electricity. The U.S. Army and Airforce had just begun some serious renovations. Our palace stay was pleasant nonetheless. Once we arrived at our semi-permanent lodgings (hoping to go home someday), the amenities were significantly downgraded. Still worth the price considering the cost -- FREE, military ID card required!

The outhouse style porta-potty units were a refreshing enhancement to our earlier sanitary dilemna of burning our own refuse. Thank you camp sanitation and cleaning services! Although the plastic porta-potty inside and seat temperatures easily reach 130 degrees during the day, they're still a welcome change from the seatless, wooden huts of past. If you enjoy having your mid-day sauna WHILE conducting business, these babies are for you! However you look at it, the new stalls are a fabulous addition to our increasing standard of living.

I haven't even mentioned the inside decor! I'll let your imagination run away with you. Our recreation area is a pleaseant place for activity and a little exercise. If armchair quarterbacking is more your style, nightly basketball and volleyball games are always happenning. If you're more of a weightlifting buff, we've got weights and benches. The best time for lifting weights is bewteen 8:30pm and 6:30am (yes, while your normally sleeping). During the day you'll find yourself battling to keep your eyes open from the continual afternoon sandstorms. As the winds calm in late afternoon, you might be able to slip in a short workout. However, you'll be conditioning more than just your physique. You'll also get a grueling but spiritually rewarding mental workout if you're fit enough. Only the strong minded can actually hold onto the scorching hot, metal weight bars. The choice (not many) of the free weight area unfortunately ensures sunlight ALL day long. So if you're in for a toughening up, both mentally AND physically this gym is your best friend. Just think, you can compare this experience to the African culture hot coal walking you watch on the Discovery Channel that you've always wanted to try.

Just when you thought there was no more to talk about. We've got TV! Yes, TV pumped into every outlying tent, building and room. We pull down HBO and The Movie Channel just to name a few. Okay, I 'gotcha! Did you actually believe that? I don't even have those channels at home. And I'm certainly not home enough to watch them. Seriously though, the dishes are for our entertainment. We recently received the proper satellite receiver to downlink American sepaking shows. The two months prior to that, we were all brushing up on our Islamic Pop culture . . . yes, there is apparently such a thing. Probably equivalent to how your parents reacted to Elvis' hip sway, or The Beatles' long hair and suggestive lyrics. We now get several American sports channels, some Sitcoms and something called AFN (closed circuit world-wide Military TV satellite network). In every tent or room? No, sorry, just kidding there. One consolidated location for our enjoyment. You can see someone sitting in the wondow behind the dark colored dish. All in all a nice enhancement!

If you're privileged to hold a Military ID card like we were, you to will be issued a 10kw generator on wheels. You can't get too much more convenient than that. No matter where we were traveling in Iraq we could stop, start that bad-boy up, and get juice to nearly anything we wanted. Need power to your battery powered electric razor but forgot to pack extra batteries? Need lights (not suggested for good combat light discipline) for your travel sized but still power hungry make-up armoire for evening make-up removal? Kids can't brush their teeth without recharging their Elmo handled toothbrush? Power is at your fingertips, everywhere you go. Well, after you learn how to use it that is. Not too many knobs and buttons. Really quite simple. Oops, you'll need fuel for the generator. Okay, that's not so easy. I've only seen one gas station out here and well, they declined to serve us. They said something about our OPEC counsel membership card being cancelled back in January of 1991. Enjoy the plentiful amentities!