The question was asked in about every way conceivable from people where ever I went, but basically what everyone wanted to know: "What''''s a white boy like you doing in a place like that?" In all honesty, reading this journal has probably produced the same thoughts, or why would I think anyone visiting New York City would care or dare to come to a place like this . . . East Harlem?
Caged Boundaries Without Walls
You won''''t find this in any guidebook, but Manhattan has an invisible apartheid line dividing east 96th St. -- the south being the Upper East Side; the wealthiest congressional district in all of NYC. And simply by crossing the street north, "things" drastically change within one block. Seeing is believing . . . whether you''''re standing on 96th St./Park Ave where Metro North commuter lines suddenly come above ground to divide and disrupt the neighborhood, or you remain on the #6-subway line to play into a long-standing joke: "Any white foks still on the train after 96th St. must have missed their stop!" If you doubt me, start watching who exits the train up until this point. But there''''s nothing to fear.
East Harlem is the uptown gateway to one of the largest racially segregated concentrations of poor people in the U.S. when combined with communities of Harlem, Washington Heights, and the entire borough of The Bronx. Aggressive efforts with the 2000 census still only turned up approximately 170,000 residents in this small corner of Manhattan though city officials believe it''''s easily between 300,000 and 450,000. More than one-third of the traceable population is under the age of 18, which is why you''''ll notice large schools on almost every other corner that annually rank among the worst on city-wide tests.
Over time, people have been conditioned to believe they''''re exactly where they belong surrounded by exactly what they deserve which creates a caged, restless feeling. There''''s a double-standard with accepted rules, behavior and expectation when venturing beyond their borders exemplified no where better than when heading south across 96th St. Suddenly, riding a bicycle on the sidewalks will get you summoned. Entering a corner deli with friends, like you would a local bodega, can set off a panic from shop keepers. And far greater than racial prejudices are every element of accepted Street Culture, which largely defines perceived success in the ''''hood, sets individuals up for failure when entering the so-called ''''Real World''''.
Familiarity within one''''s comfort zone is a norm of human tendency, but life can get rather stale when we limit our options and cease to expand horizons. Convincing Spanish Harlem residents there was a whole world waiting beyond their invisible boundaries, as described in another journal''''s Excessive Travels entry, is likely no different than reasoning with any of you there''''s more to see and experience in life than what you''''re settling for.
Home IS Truly Where Your Heart Is
"I''''d just finished walking the last of the kids home and by now it was probably after 10:00 and an eerie, cloud-shrouded full moon was just cresting above the rows of 18-story project buildings. The crack dealers were manning their regular corners as others scurriend to and fro; a few others clustered around on the sidewalks over conversation -- just the normal activity of a quiet Friday night. In looking around, I got the warm fuzzies heading for home and unconsciously caught myself thinking how much I love this neighborhood and living here..." 10/17/97 from my personal logs.
When I was given approval to leave a Not-for-Profit''''s midtown office headquarters to create a Youth Center for at-risk street kids, I only thought I knew what I was getting into. When discovering El Barrio from previously walking the streets countless times, it was hordes of children which captured my heart -- including one of my first memories of an innocent toddler being comforted by his mother over sadness of a dead rat lying on the sidewalk. How quickly innocence fades -- both mine and for these kids being questionably raised by family who''''d already succumbed as products of their environment.
Questions from outsiders about life in the ''''hood were never ceasing as if to feed the forbidden of their curiosities. Over time, I realized it didn''''t matter who I was or what my purpose for being there included. My zip code was 10029 automatically qualifing me to withstand any daily struggles of inner-city life. I was never spared days with no heat or hot water; cleanliness meant nothing to pest and vermin. Mail was frequently lost, a dangerous leak in my ceiling draining through an electric smoke detector was never fixed, and Mayor Guiliani''''s quality of life changes that cleaned-up Manhattan never seemed to cross 96th St . . . just like most New Yorkers.
Despite what you might be thinking, enduring these commanalities only solidified my position within the community including purposefully living without air-conditioning, top-line electronics, and other perceived, affordable luxuries that would''''ve set me apart, or as potential target for theft. Realness of life was all but refreshing since everyone else was also chin-deep in shared problems; there was no since pretending. My biggest obstacles often centered around innuendos of when the best, most alluring elements quickly turned to the worst.
Ever-playing Salsa and Merengue music I loved so much suddenly lost its appeal at 3:00 a.m . . . just as did noise from vibrant streets coming through open windows on hot, sleepless nights. 40 pounds of laundry/groceries and six flights of stairs certainly took their toll certain days. Living amongst so many races was a double-edged sword when diversities vs. differences crossed the fine line creating on-going tensions and violence. But most devestating were days I felt just as trapped, helpless, and hopeless within these blocks I called home which ever-so-slowly were refining me into yet another product of the environment.
There was one luxury I unconsciously clung to likely never afforded to any of these people: If and when the time came that enough was enough, I could always bring myself to pack-up and get out . . . including for more than just a walk around Central Park, or another trip to somewhere on the globe!
Living With the Memories
My years in Spanish Harlem provided experiences that redifined my life, and I''''ve described were just as authentic as what a Peace Corps volunteer or a missionary encounters within a foreign country. No visit back to NYC would be complete without a warm bag of cuchifritos and an extra-large cup of Tamarindo juice, or picking up the latest Latin music to hit the charts. And of course . . . pounding the pavement, as in the many years gone by, and finding just about everyone right where I left them.
In looking around, there''''s no doubt I''''ve resuccumbed to the tranquil, country living of the Missouri Ozarks this whole experience was rooted from. I''''m still certain of the why, but there''''s no way I can begin to imagine or understand the how. Thankfully these days, I walk through Spanish Harlem just as you potentially will . . . as a student-of-life visitor!
Read Less