Bangkok Thailand

Quick Tips:

Try to learn a little about Thai culture and history. Learn simple phases: hello, thank you, excuse me, sorry. Locals appreciate your efforts even if your pronunciation is off.

Best Way To Get Around:

Use the river taxis to get around.

The cruise company can pick you up right in front of your hotel (if you are at one of the better riverfront hotels).

Rich ordered us the seafood dinner--lots of different Thai dishes that were good, but nothing spectacular. The prawns were a bit overdone. We saw fireworks again along the river--yeah!!!

On the way back down the river, we stopped at Wat Arun, Temple of the Dawn, and saw a light show and heard stories about some of the riverfront attractions. It was very romantic. It was a great dinner for our great honeymoon!!!

Lesson Learned: You can make reservations and some (limited )special requests via email.

Our first stop was the Grand Palace. My shoes did not have a back strap, so I had to borrow theirs. An Asian "large" is by no way large! My toes were folded in on themselves.

The Grand Palace is the home of the Emerald Buddha. It was very beautiful. The ornate detailing of the buildings was unbelievable, and the grounds were very clean despite the thousands of tourists crowding into them.

Lesson learned . . . Make sure you wear comfortable and CONSERVATIVE clothing. Shoes that cover your entire foot and are easy to slip on and off are a MUST. Bring bottled water and LOTS of film.

Wat Pho, home of the Golden Buddha. The walk is short, but it becomes evident we are in a different world. Taxi drivers accost you every few steps and even tell you the temple is closed so they can take you to a new place--yeah, right!!! We met a young American woman who joined us in our hunt for the temple. The Golden Buddha is amazing because of the shine, and you feel an enormous sense of peace and realize how small you are in this world.

The big surprise of the day was the Reclining Buddha. We knew it was big, but when you walk in, you are met with a huge image. The statue itself has a small childlike grin and is lying quite comfortably on his side. His feet are ornately decorated with mother of pearl. The hall was filled with a continuous clinking. Upon investigation, we found 30 monks' bowls lining the walls of the temple. Buddhists place money in the bowls for the monks.

Lesson learned: Bring high-speed film. Some places don't allow flash (or any) photographs inside the temples.

The taxi driver agrees to be our personal taxi for the day and eventually became our tour guide for B2200 ($51). The floating market was the first stop. We took a long-tailed boat up a small river to get there. The trip was great because we got to see the everyday life of the people. Kids were playing and helping the family while the women washed dishes in the river. I was amazed at the brightness of the colors and the incredible strength of the smells as we traveled up the river.

We arrived to the floating market, Damnoen Saduk, and boarded yet another boat to look around the market. The fruits and foods were amazing. As you travel by the floating vendors, you are pummeled with trinkets, foods, and clothes. You quickly learn the best way to avoid conflict is to avoid eye contact and continuously say no.

We had a huge lesson during our trip. A man carrying a huge snake was positioned in the river, very odd. When we gawked in amazement, he boarded the boat and placed the snake first on Rich and then on me. After being grossed out and amazed, we were about to leave when he thrust his hand into Rich’s face and it read "photos B500 ($10.50)." We were horrified. Luckily the cab driver talked to him and we agreed to pay him for one photo, only then quickly left his boat feeling like complete travel virgins.

My overall impression of the market was a sense of surreal fantasy. I would have never imagined the number of people, colors, smells, and noises that could exist in one small river. Your eyes were overloaded with the intensity of sights. It was completely incredible and highly recommended!!!

Lesson learned: The market tends to cater to tourists, so be careful shopping. Some items may seem like bargains, but are really way overpriced.

In our typical goofy style, we headed to the shows and played. The crocodile show was very campy and westernized with music from Hawaii Five-O blasting. It was entertaining, but not much more. We had a blast feeding the catfish that live in the ponds. They are incredibly huge. One fish will eat half a bread roll whole. They were about 3 feet long and about the size of my thigh around (that is big!!!).

As we were walking to the elephant show, I spotted a huge spinning sphere and I gladly had a spin. It was great. Rich laughed at his new wife spinning on playground equipment. The elephant show was entertaining, but it was also full of history and cultural relevance. I enjoyed learning about the significance of elephants in the Thai culture. They reenacted a battle war scene and it was complete with colorful costumes and pyrotechnics!!!

Probably the best place to go to get your native trinkets and baubles.

We decided to be a little adventurous and take the sky train to the Chatuchuk market. The sky train was very cheap and hardly anyone was on it. Rich and I were surprised at how clean it was, and it was air-conditioned and quicker than a cab. I have no idea why more people do not use it.

The market is incredible. It is about the size of a stadium market, but has four times as much stuff crammed in it. People say if you can’t find it in the market, then it doesn’t exist in Thailand. We found very good deals on things, but you MUST bargain. If you do not like the price, then you walk away. Nine times out of ten, they call you back and tell you "for you discount" and give it to you for the price you wanted. We left for lunch since we did not trust the vendors at the market. There were inadequate washing facilities and the open trench sewers ran near the vendor booths. The place was incredibly stinky. Every 10 feet, a new smell would assault your nose. The market was dirty, crowded, and hot--a perfect recipe for a migraine, but we did okay.

Lesson Learned: Go EARLY in the morning. Bring some snacks and plenty of water. Protect your valualbles from pickpockets (99% of Thai people are courteous, honest, polite, and hardworking . . . but there are a few pickpockets in every country). Remember that there are cultural differences, and try not to openly gawk or stare at things you find odd or repugnant. Yes, some Thai people eat insects (a delicacy), but we eat things that are much worse for you healthwise (Twinkies, bacon, etc.).

We headed out to the Phat Pong area. We started at an Irish pub, O’Reilley’s, and had dinner. The food was good, and I got a vodka Collins. We then cruised the streets looking for a little nightlife and found a go-go spot to check out. The place was filthy, the girls even worse. During the dart show, some fat thing came out and began rubbing on us. She only went away after a sternly worded admonishment. The place was disgusting. We finished our beer, then promptly left. The show was a chick who blew darts from her vagina and could aim like Annie Oakley. She hit all of the balloons. She also honked a horn, smoked a pack of cigarettes, and did a dozen other weird little tricks.

We left there and went to a disco. We had problems because most discos don’t start until 2am and it was only 11pm, so after a couple of tries we found a place that had a Japanese band that covered American music.

We found that this area was pretty much geared toward single male clientele. If you are into the sex shows, there's a pretty amazing variety, but aside from satisfying our idle curiosity, my wife and I did not enjoy the experience much.

Be careful in this area: lots of pickpockets and lots of guys dressed up like girls (some of them were very difficult to tell from real girls).

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