VIVA Vallarta!

24 hours after landing I was insistent I had found Eutopia. The poor locals must have thought this silly little gringa was on drugs, for all I could do was grin or walk around with an amazed look on my face.

Why didn't anyone prepare me for this incredible place? hmmm..... maybe because they wanted to keep it their little secret?

Forget the horror stories people try and scare you with when you say you are going to Mexico. Puerto Vallarta is incredibly safe, amazingly clean and filled with at least a 1001 fabulous things to do. Even your stubborn and picky Aunt Gertie would love to be here, in a little town I call Paradise.

Quick Tips:

Bottled water is everywhere and cheap, as is purified water. You will not starve in Puerto Vallarta! The food is incredible, the service superb and I have yet to have a bad meal. Since the town is so easy to navagate and walking is a breeze, I can work off a 5 course meal within a couple hours of shopping, beachcombing and touring around Old Town. Pack comfortable shoes, because you won't want to miss an inch of this beautifully diverse town! From sandy beach coves, jungle waterfalls, the boardwalk on the ocean to a shoppers paradise on the Rio Cuale. That beach chair you so held in regard plays second fiddle to all of the adventures right outside your hotel door.

Best Way To Get Around:

You can rent a car for about .00 a day, but beware of the .00 a day Jeeps, they require at least half a day in a 'timeshare' speech.

Best yet, you can negotiate a taxi for about .00-.00 an hour and not worry about the driving.

L The ocean is a short half of a block walk on a lovely pathway, and the hotel has beach towels and umbrellas to use.

The hotel is perfect for a family or two couples- the price is per unit, not person, making it even a better deal.

I just returned from staying at the Punta Arena in January 2002. A good chunk of the hotel has gone All Inclusive, but they still have kept 40 apartments available for rental. Once again, this is my #1 pick for a family or two couples, and if you can ask, for tower 16, as you hear the ocean waves crashing as you fall asleep.

Email: suites@puntaarena.com

The maids were very friendly, and man! did they scrub. Everyday they washed every inch of tile, no stone was unturned when they were done. I also was happy to find nary a critter, not even those elusive tiny ants.

On the roof there was my room, #47 and the "luxury" suite, #48. The luxury suite has a double bed and a twin bed, a TV, and a kitchenette. I peeked inside when the Canadian couple left for breakfast and was surprised to see how large and well appointed it was, for a mere 300 pesos. I also noticed they were way more tidy than me, so I slipped the maid an extra 20 pesos.

I adored my super budget location. I could look out my window from bed and see the clock on the church, so I knew it was precisely 4:00AM that the neighbor's rooster started to crow. I was also greeted by the smell of fresh laundry every day. I could sit on the metal loveseat that was woven with what we use as minnow bucket rope and watch town wake up.

The Azteca, while in a typical Mexican neighborhood, was pretty quiet. I easily got used to the roosters and the dogs, the music coming from different homes. There isn't a disco nearby, so by 10:00pm, the streets were pretty much rolled-up. Even walking home after midnight I felt very safe. It seemed like most of the people in the hotel were tucked in by midnight and up and out by 10:00AM. All the people were seasoned travelers, mainly Canadian, and very cool. I would definitely stay here again.

If that isn't enough, the food is incredible! We started with calamari for an appetizer, perfect little rings, cooked to perfection with a nice seasoned yogurt dip. As the sun started to set on the bay, our dinners came by the friendliest and most attentive server.

What to look at? The sunset so full of color, or the meal so artistically arranged? Once the nose caught a whiff, the stomach won out.

I enjoyed a 6 huge prawns, sauted in the shell in a wine and garlic sauce, with a delicate rice and vegetable side-dish. My friends enjoyed the catch of the day, one prepared with garlic and lime, the other with a blend of spices and wine.

The menu is extensive, but save room for the tiramisu! So good, I had to jab my fork into my friends hand as he tried to wrangle the last bite! La Palapa has a website at La Palapa.

Although Roberto's is known for seafood, the filet mignon makes my toes curl in pleasure. I love their calamari appetizer and the smoked marlin is out of this world.

I always go for the special, your choice of two items from the big giant platter-(prawns, bacon and cheese wrapped grilled prawns, filet mignon, lobster, fillet of fresh fish, whole red snapper... and sometimes a few other choices if in season.)Prices higher if lobster is a choice.

I am telling you, food for a king/queen! I love the whole snapper grilled with garlic and lime, and prawns, or filet mignon... so hard to decide. I have yet to have dessert as my stomach would burst and I would never be in Food Heaven again.

Winter months, dine on the street and be serenaded by a strolling musician. The indoor dining is wonderful for the hotter, more humid months.

A quick update, Roberto's Puerto Nuevo and The Charisma Cafe have switched locations with each other. I am happy to see the change since the Puerto Nuevo is the better of the two, and now has the better dining location. The prices have gone up, but the food is still as grand as ever, and a few new items also.

Memo also serves fabulous fresh fruits and tradition Mexican breakfast fare- my friends love the entire menu. Me? I stick with the Oh Henry's since I am a loyal kinda gal.

Memo also offers a cooking class some evenings in the high season. His personality makes you want to get in the kitchen even if you have a cooking-phobia.

Try and get a table in the rear, under the lush tropical foliage... and hoist a pancake in my name.

The restaurant is far too small for the size it should be. With food as wonderful as they serve, they are going to have to expand, and soon! I image I will have to wait in line for the three pancakes, topped with a lovely egg, 3 strips of perfectly cooked bacon and a fruit sculpture created on the whim of the chef.

The restaurant has six tables, sunny orange walls and a shelf with every décor and home magazine imported to Vallarta. Here, you can get ideas for your dream home as you fill your stomach with dreamy concoctions. I especially love the caramel sauced fruit, the hotcakes, the re-fried beans, and the sweet and charming owners. They attend to your needs, serve piping hot, REAL coffee and teach you as much Spanish as you can muster while chomping on papaya. They are bi-lingual, so you won’t have to point at the menu or get embarrassed about ordering "huevos", which is slang for something women don’t have.

I have a feeling that by the time you get to Puerto Vallarta, you may have to wait in line to get seated.

A beautiful and filling breakfast runs about 30 pesos on average, without coffee or juice.

Getting there: I don’t have the address, exactly but it's easy to find. Basilio Badillio/ Restaurant Row, and Vallarta. Instead of heading left at Fredy’s Tucan, go right. Buenos Diaz is about 6 or so shops down towards the beach.

I have heard great things about this place from locals, the best source of dining information. Plus plenty of locals were dining, the best sign if it is good or not. My rule of thumb: less gringos, more locals, it must be good, as word travels fast in Vallarta.

Mariscos Polo isn’t 5 Star asthetically, nor is it anywhere near the beaten path, BUT, it has excellent fresh seafood, great prices, delightful staff and an eclectic mix of recorded music. I had the shrimp burrito which is plenty full of shrimp, nicely seasoned with a Thousand Island type sauce, poblano peppers, lettuce, tomato and cheese. My friend had the shrimp bisque soup, which was full of nice sized shrimp in a huge bowl and fresh baked bread on the side. We chose these as we weren’t very hungry, but hungry enough to have something more than an appetizer. While we were waiting for our food, we looked around at huge plates of shrimp and fish the other diners were enjoying. Lack of conversation from the tables told me it must be good! The only sounds were the Bee Gee’s, the Eagles and K.C. and the Sunshine Band from the stereo…that and my stomach starting to growl. I almost wished I had ordered more, but by time the food was served, I saw the burrito was more than enough to quiet the beast.

The menu mainly features seafood, shrimp, chicken, catch of the day and some traditional Mexican favorites. The prices are very reasonable and the portions are large enough to satisfy.

Hours are from Noon to 10:00pm.

There isn't really a sign that says: The Patio, you just have to have idea where it is. So, here is the location, and I'll include two photos so you know what to look for.

When walking up the hill towards the mountains on Ave. Vallarta, you take a right on Madero, heading towards the beach. It's only halfway down the block on the right side. When you enter, you see a little lobby filled with books, feel free to grab one to read or swap one of yours for a new one. It's the honor system here, and works well.

Walking into the patio area, there are about 8 tables, find one, park yourself and get ready for an exellent breakfast. Specials of the day are listed out front, and tend to be whatever Benji's whim of the day is. The fresh basil/mushroom omelette is fantastic! They also cut their bacon by hand, so the slices are thick and delicious. Benji also makes his own sausage and homemade biscuits, so wonderful, any Southerner would be jealous.

Not only is the food delicious, but the service is great, although leisurely, and the prices are incredibly inexpensive. This is a true treasure and worth looking for when in PV!

The breakfast hours are from 8:00 AM until 2:00 PM, but they are now open for dinner. Somedays, they aren't ready to start cooking until after 9:00am. Be prepared to sit and relax with hot coffee as Benji and his wife Graciela get cooking.

A thick mahi-mahi steak and all the trimmings is 60 pesos! An average hungry-man breakfast is 25-35 pesos. The dining area is beautiful, with stained glass on the walking path, artwork on the walls (all for sale) and an area where you can buy postcards to masks.

Breakfast is served before reaching the island.

After the island, you head across the bay to Las Animas beach for almost two hours of beachtime with many activities. The crew share golden nuggets of information about the town and surrounding areas, plus eagerly pass out any drinks you crave and a choice of 6 lunch options.

By far the best boat excursion I have ever been on, and do it everytime I go down to Vallarta. A must do trip for anyone, children to granparents.

The raised bar area when you first walk in is a great place to grab a drink and scope out the place. Large groups may want to find a big table near the dance floor. Couples might want to find a plush, relaxing seat in the 'hideaway' in front of the stage. If you are solo/sola there's always a barstool with your name on it. Once you've found a place to plant, you may not stay seated for long! The house band is fabulous, with a huge song list, playing popular music to the obscure.

In the first set, the band breaks out music worthy of at least a few spins on the dance floor. The club is diverse, making it fun for any lover of live music. If there is a famous musician in town, chances are they will be here, listening to the band or possibly stepping up on stage to join in. The beer is cold, the music hot, and if you still want to party after the bar shuts down, hop in one of the taxis right outside the bar and head off to the Zoo Bar. Sunday nights; the regular house band is off, but who ever fills in is also worth staying for. No cover chagrge, so you are free to come and go and check out other bars in the area, chances are you won't want to leave the Roxy!

Once inside the dimly lit cavern, strewn with giant African safari animals, you find the bar 6 steps in front of you. Ahhhh yes, 2x1 drinks, all day, all night... what more could a girl(or guy) ask for? Tequilla shooter girls maybe? They are there and ready to tilt your head back and pour...for about 35 pesos, but who's counting? The music is always loud, making in-depth conversations impossible. But hey! It's a disco, as long as you can read lips, "What's your name? Do ya wanna dance, and What are you drinking?" It's the only conversation you need. Besides, the music is so good, who needs to talk when you can dance? If you feel really fiesty, there's a cage you can dance in also...or a ledge, possibly the bar....

The drinks are good and cold, the bartenders and wait staff make sure your hands are never empty. Never mind the shooter girls, they will track you down like... well,like a hyena on a wounded hippo. Once you imbibe on a head spinning, straight down the hatch concoction of tequila and something fruity, you will be fair game the rest of the night.

The crowd doesn't really pour in until a bit after midnight, making a night at the Zoo turn into a morning at the Zoo. It's not uncommon to walk outside after a night of partying to see the sun peaking over the mountain tops...just in time for you to hit the Pancake House for some Oh Henry pancakes to soak up the alcohol.

The common dress at the Zoo is club clothes, although they will let in with decent shorts. Cover charge can range from 80-200 pesos depending on the time of year, but with the cover, you do get two drinks.

Luckily I ran into a tour/travel agent named Pamela, who steered me to an eco-friendly alternative.

Maru, a marine biologist, and Eduardo, a world renowned photographer, have teamed up together to form Wildlife Connections. The spend their lives filming, listening and documenting the 300+ free dolphins in Bahia de Banderas, but also the migrating whale populations. Their incredible knowledge, accuracy at finding the dolphins and whale watching expertise make this eco-friendly excursion one of the best around.

When taking this excursion, you meet the team and others joining you at the Opiquimar Marina. Maru then gives a history on dolphins and whales, which unlike 9th grade biology class, was very fascinating. You will then board the boat and set off to find the pods of dolphins living free in the bay. At some point, if willing, you may have the chance to get into the water and see if the dolphins are interested enough to come near you. Remember, these are free and happy dolphins with miles and miles of water, not a cage or a tank, so really, there is no guarantee they'll come close.

For a full report on my Dolphin Adventure, please go to:

http://todopuertovallarta.homestead.com/dolphins.html

El Anclote is the area the locals were moved to when the Four Season's Hotel acquired the land in Punta de Mita. El Anclote is a small residential area surrounding lovely white beaches, soft sand and a host of palapa beach bars.

My favorite is the El Dorado, a palapa beach bar in between other palapa beach bars. I love this one because the food is most excellent, the waitstaff attentive, the lounge chairs decent and the beach is heavenly. I usually spend the day with a friend or two, eating, drinking, playing volleyball, sleeping in the sun, snorkeling, swimming, eating more, drinking more, shopping, and relaxing. The price is about 2/3rds of what I pay into town for the same activities, and the beach is 100 times better.

How to get there: Go to BlockBuster Video in the hotel zone. Take a "Punta de Mita" bus, tell the driver "El Anclote", the price should be about 18-20 pesos. The ride will take you around Nuevo and through Bucerias and around the coast until you come to the end of the line. The bus will drive through El Anclote and down the road to the ocean. Here it stops and you get off, the El Dorado is a few places away, so just look for the sign. Walk on down to the palapa, find a loung chair and make yourself at home. I know it will be hard to leave, but the buses stop running before 8:00pm, so plan accordingly. There are condos available in El Anclote, in case you love it so much you want to stay there permanently.

I highly recommend this beach for anyone wanting to get off the beaten path, or for families with children. The water here is very clear, the water shallow for yards, very little waves, and huge portions of beach for building sand castles.

If you go during the winter season when the whales are in the bay, walk down to the fishing co-op and ask for Lupé or Braulio and they will take you out to see the whales for a very good price. As they say, "K-mart-Blue-light-Special" Their boat is a small covered panga, but excellent for getting up close and personal with the whales.

Lucy still recruits Veterinarians to help with the spaying and neutering of the beach dogs and the strays, but the shop itself is what raises the money and connections to do the job.

Lucy also heads many fundraisers including the Chili-Cook-Off and the Pasta-Cook-Off, which every year surpasses the previous in turn out and donations.

Anyone going to Puerto Vallarta should make sure they stop by the Cu-Cu-Cabana. You could find gifts for every person on your list, including enemies! From beautiful hand created sterling silver cat bracelets, to Day of the Dead, Dia de los Muertos, statues of prostitutes with pink hair and a glitter bikini. Most pieces have an animal theme, such as distressed iron geckos to hang on your wall, to a woven pig bench a 200-pound person could sit on. Each piece is hand picked by Lucy and Gil, her husband, in the off-season when they pack up to travel and scout for funky stuff.

Prices are extremely reasonable, considering the work the artisans and the owners go through to get the merchandise to you. A simple, but cool, jaguar mask is 30 pesos, all the way to a warrior’s dance costume/wall hanging for 3000 pesos. Come prepared to look in every nook and cranny, and bring plenty of cash or credit card, you will not leave the shop without wanting a little of everything.

A few "must buys": Gil Givens, Lucy’s husband, is a hilarious author and is selling his book "Puerto Vallarta on 49 Brain Cells A Day" at the shop. I must say this is the funniest book I have ever read, perfect for the beach, the ride home, or when you are missing Puerto Vallarta. $10.00 and worth every single penny.

Any of the many Day of the Dead statues, conversation pieces at their finest and funniest.

The coconut mask/paper mache` wall hangings. Great for adding color to a kitchen, bathroom or sun porch.

Iron geckos: for when you miss the critters that visit your rooms in Vallarta. Unfortunately, these guys don’t eat mosquitoes.

If you want to help out a stray, feel free to bring Lucy some flea collars, she’ll place on them on the neediest hounds in town, and you will have helped out a four-legged friend in need.

The beach is calm and the sand is much softer than Los Muertos. Plenty of palapa restaurants and beach chairs, and a volleyball court. Children laugh and play as ladies stroll along the beach with freshly baked pies. Horses can be rented to take you to a nearby water fall and para-sailing is available.

Shopping can be done at a few tiendas, or the vendors will come directly to you. Water taxis leave early, with the last one around 4:00pm, if you miss it, you may have the chance to camp out with the spirits.

By pointing out a flaw, real or imaginary to get a better deal, you will only force the seller into finding a 'perfect' one for you to purchase or risk offending them beyond reason. Instead, if you find an item you would like to possibly purchase, compliment the item. Then, put it down. The seller will either quote a price or ask you how much you want to pay. Quote a price at least 30% BELOW the final price you would like to pay. (Do this within reason, don't expect to pay a dollar for a $40.00 sterling silver bracelet.) This gives you room to move as the prices start flying. You will then be in the midst of a 'bidding war.' If he/she won't come down to a price in your ballpark, say thank you and walk away. I am sure there will be a final 'price break' as you turn to leave. Keep smiling and have fun. In the end, you will both walk away content and happy with your transaction.

One thing to remember, do not bargain if you really don't plan on buying. No one wants to anticipate a sale to only find it go down the drain, or lose the opportunity to sell to someone who would like to purchase something. A simple "No gracias" is fine.

Everything was cool until we hit the one way dirt, or shall we say dust road, going through the mountains. Being a gentleman, Gabriel let me have the window seat. Being a gentleman, he let me have the aisle seat when I turned green. I am a wee bit scared of heights, especially when they involve a rickety bus, squeeky brakes and a death drop of at least 100 feet and no guard rail. Did I mention the 5 or 6 little rivers we had to cross? Now, let me remind you, this is dry season, and little rain has fallen, but there is still a good 10 inches of water running across the roads.

After almost 2 1/2 hours we finally arrived at Estancia, the cross roads of the two main roads. One to Mascota, the other to San Sebastion. As we exited the bus, Gabe asked the driver what time the bus left, the driver said "bus? The bus leaves tomorrow morning." Which of course threw me into a fit of giggles. I knew this and thought Gabe did also... but what the heck, it's an adventure, right?

Luckily, instead of walking, we hitched a ride with a 70+ year old Charro on his way to San Sebastion. I, being a lady rode shotgun and the boys in the back. We exited the truck 150 pesos poorer, but happy to not have lugged our packs for 10+ kilometers. Seeing San Sebastion for the first time sends you back in time. You could see the old charm, the small cobblestone roads and a town plaza that rivals any big city.

We decided to walk around a bit, and found a place to eat off the main road. Looked like a dive, but hey, they had gorditas on special and ice cold beer. We ended up eating 9 gorditas and two beers for a total of 76 pesos. We also got a history lesson and directions to the raicilla factory.

With our bellies full, we set off up the cooblestone road, and ended up at a dead end and a gorgeous hacienda. There was a couple of maids cleaning the rooms so we took a peek and fell in love. After taking some pictures and inhaling the clean mountain air, we set off, only to find the owner pulling up in his truck. I wanted to chat, and find out name, prices etc. so I could post it on the web-site. Gabe and the owner ended up talking for 10 minutes with Gabe translating for us. They were disussing the lack of tourists in San Sebastion, when Henry, the owner, looks at me and says in perfect, unaccented English, "I don't know why they don't come here since it so close to Vallarta." I am now rolling on the ground in a fit of giggles while Gabe looks sheepish. My roommate said it was just like a movie, and Henry seemed to really enjoy the experience. We ended chatting for a while and getting new directions to the raicilla factory. The Hacienda has been in Henry's family for years. He lived in L.A. most of his life and returned to his roots to start a small hotel. So far there is 4 beautiful rooms with full baths running about $40 USD a night. Well worth it in my book. Not much to do but breath, relax and enjoy nature at it's finest.

Since we were kinda stuck in San Sebastion, we went off to find some raicilla. Heck, we may as well be drunk if we are going to spend the night in God's country. After crossing a small river and almost getting ran over by two little boys on a wild burro, we needed raicilla more than ever. After a brisk walk, we came across two cows playing in a playground. One cow looked like it just slid down the slide, the other was grazing off to the side. (no we haven't drank the raicilla yet, we haven't even found it!) Low and behold, right past the cows was the joint. Adobe oven, a wooden table and bench, a small serving counter and big gate to keep us out. Gabe, being brave yelled for the owner. Being braver, he opened the gate. He tells me to stay back in case of guard dogs. Great. No owner, no dogs, no raicilla. So off we went back down the hill in search of coffee.

San Sebastion was a metropolis in the 1600's and supplied Tepic and other areas with goods. Today, it is much smaller, but still has many of the original buildings. One of its pride and joys, besides raicilla, is the coffee plantations. Once again, we got directions, this time to where to have some coffee. Our plan was to have coffee and decide where to bunk for the night. We could stay with Henry, or check out the other Hacienda, or check out the posada on the main drag.

We found the coffee shop, and the boys went inside while I tagged along behind. Lucky for me, as coming up the big cobblestone hill was........ yep, a taxi! I yelled for Gabe who whistled him down. The driver gave the finger-circle motion, which meant, "I'll be back after I drop my load". He came back to get us, and after our coffee we piled in for the ride home. The driver had never been to San Sebastion before, so he was a bit harried from the ride up. Not expecting any passengers for the ride home, he was happy with the 300 pesos we offered. We were happy to be on our way back to PV. I was thrilled that wishing for a taxi made one appear. Where is a lotto stand when you are on a roll?

Our beloved Mario Andretti drove like a maniac, thinking driving faster will make the road seem less dangerous. With only two near misses we arrived safe and sound from our adventure, alive, if not a little dusty.

Not only is it dirt cheap, but it's fun, bumpy, and altogether worth the 4 pesos to get you around town. * the price raised to 4 pesos January of 2002.

Gone are the days of chicken buses, although you may find someone selling treats or belting out a song while playing an instrument. I do recommend giving a peso or two for the entertainment. Many of the buses have names like "The Terminator", "Rambo" or "El Loco", but never fear, only grinding gears and hard hit potholes seem to be their real claim to fame.

Since the buses are "owned" by individuals, their tastes in decor reflect their personalities. One guy has a fondness for disco lights and fuzzy dice, another likes glitter and pictures drawn by his child. Most all have a picture of Jesus or the Virgin de Guadalupe to safe-guard their bus and passengers.

The buses are clearly marked with their routes or destinations. "Centro" gets you into town, "Sheraton" stops in the hotel zone on the main strip, and "Punta de Mita" takes you all the way north to the tip of banderas Bay, for a mere 18 pesos, and a very enjoyable hour long ride. Your hotel can tell you what bus to take to get to where you want to go. Buses usually stop running the "Nuevo" and "Punta de Mita" routes around 8:00 PM, while buses in town run until 11:00pm or so.

Don't worry about making a bus "mistake", such as going the wrong way, or the wrong route. I've done it myself, and I just get off and explore, then hop on a bus going the right way, or take a taxi to where I want to go. Sometimes these mistakes have turned into a goldmine. I've found some of the best shops, restaurants and beaches for my 3 pesos.

Why I like the bus:

3 pesos versus 30 pesos for a taxi adds up to two extra beers per ride:)
I meet more people on the bus than cruising around in a taxi!
A bus ride to my favorite beach, El Anclote, 18 pesos. A taxi ride to the same beach, $25.

A "mistake" going the wrong direction costs another three pesos for a different bus, finding the best shoe store in town because of my "mistake": priceless!

First off, let me explain what the Malecon is. Plain and simple, it is the boardwalk in the heart of town on the ocean. Beyond that, the Malecon on a Sunday night is almost a religious experience. It can also be depressing if you are single or alone as you stroll the boardwalk. I say this because I walked this pathway countless times either solo or with a girlfriend. We would be so depressed by the end of the evening we swore ourselves to marriage, children and big families. The reason; it is a lovers paradise for young and old alike. You can’t miss the young ones out with their friends, dressed in their best, smelling freshly showered and gussied-up, as my mom would say. They giggle, flirt, laugh and show-off for each other in hopes of finding that special someone. Then you have the young ones that found each other. They hold hands, kiss, take pictures, watch the sunset, and have this "We can conquer the world" look in their eyes. Next, you have the families that come and show off their children and babies. They share cotton candy, deep-fried bananas and buy balloons and trinkets as they stroll and laugh. Lastly, you have the old lovers who sit on benches, holding hands, not having to say anything. I always wonder if they are reliving their meeting on the Malecon some 50 years before. Many nights there are mimes, clowns, fire artists, or sand sculptures who perform for donations. Some are wonderful, some I just don’t get, but all in all, they add to the spice of the carnival atmosphere.

Usually, a few minutes after sunset, the Marigalante sets off fireworks by the arches. Earlier, the arches host folkloric ballet, mariachi’s, music, dancing or some type of colorful displays. You never know exactly who or what you may see, but always worth sitting on the bleachers and watching while enjoying some sort of confection from the food stands.

One of my favorites is the "spray paint artist". This guy is Picasso with a can of spray paint! He creates some incredible paintings for 100 to 200 pesos. Even if you don’t want a moonscape, he is worth a few fumes and over-spray to watch.

The Malecon on Sunday evening is a must do for anyone going to Puerto Vallarta, from first trip to 100th trip. Granted, it can be depressing when you are single, but chances are, enough strolls down the Malecon may find you a mate.

Many people traveling to Vallarta go on a package deal where airport/hotel transfers are included in the price. If this is you, thank some lucky stars, look for your tour rep and have a great trip. If you went budget or without a package deal, read on.

Most people don't know the airport is Federal Zone. What this means is the taxi prices are way more expensive leaving the airport than going back in a yellow taxi. So, when you arrive and want to get to your hotel, you may be in for some sticker shock. If you want to save a few pesos, and haven't packed a suitcase the size of a refrigerator, walk out the doors to the left when leaving customs. You will see an orange, brand-spanking new pedestrian bridge built for savvy, budget travelers.

So, walk across the bridge, there aren't any steps, so those roller suitcases will come in very handy. At the bottom of the bridge, go to a little place called Tacon de Marlin, you cannot miss it, it's right there. Order a shrimp burrito. One is more than likely enough, but they are so good, you may be tempted to order another to take to the hotel with you! If you want a beer, you have to walk two shops past the bridge and buy one there, which of course you can bring back to Tacon de Marlin. About the time you return, beers in hand, your burrito will be ready. Just don’t forget to bring the bottles back for your deposit.

If you aren’t a shrimp fan, Islas Maria’s a little further down the road has excellent ribs, chicken and other Mexican favorites. Great for kids also! Either one is a sure bet for easing the traveling chaos and filling you up for "unpacking time" at the hotel.

When you are full and rested, flag down a yellow taxi, and ride for a lot less money than an airport cab. While taxi prices across the street aren’t as cheap as they used to be, you will still save at least 25%.

Another travel savvy tip: Get to the airport early, check in, get your seat numbers and instead of going upstairs for an $8.00 burger, run across the street and spend half the money. Beer is under a $1.00 US at the tienda, soda pop is about 80 cents, where the airport charges about 2.50 US.

Just remember, being thrifty has its advantages!

You have many choices on how to get there; either by excursion boat, as a part of a day trip, or by hiring a water taxi to take you there, either from Los Muertos Pier, Mismaloya beach or from Boca de Tomatlan. I prefer to get to Yelapa by water taxi from Boca. Two reasons, it is cheaper and the ride via water is shorter.

To get to Boca de Tomatlan, you must take a green and blue bus from the corner of Basilio Badillo and Constitution streets in Old Town. Tell the driver, "Boca" and pay 4.5 pesos. The bus ride will take you through Old Town and on to HWY 200. You’ll see Conchas Chinas and all of the million dollar homes, Los Arcos, past Mismaloya, El Set, Le Kliff and the Bunjee Jump. The bus ride is part roller coaster, part informational tour. Be sure to sit on the left side of the bus, opposite side of the driver for the best views.

The last stop is Boca de Tomatlan, you’ll see a sign and the bus stops in a cut-out right at the top of the dusty road which leads to Boca and the water taxis. Just walk down to the cove, and look for the water taxi. Speak with the captain, the guy in the back of the boat, not the ticket sellers on the beach, as they charge more. Tell the captain you would like to go to Yelapa. More than likely it will be 50 or 60 pesos each way, per person. Feel free to ask "cuanto?"- How much? if you’d like.

The ride is bumpy, a bit wild, and not for anyone afraid of small boats and water. On the other hand, you will see other beaches, private and public along the way, incredible views of the mountains and coves. Plenty of birds, and dolphins to see, maybe even whales in the right season. After about a half an hour of riding, dropping off and picking up people and goods from other beaches, you will finally see a large cove and Yelapa.

Getting off the panga can be difficult, as they don’t dock, they just drive up to the shore and you get to jump out with a helping hand or two. Pay the driver and you are free to explore the many different Palapa restaurants and beach clubs, hotels, and village.

The village of Yelapa has a few little tiendas, stores, some restaurants, and a trail that leads to the waterfall behind the village. Recently, Yelapa got electricity, which is both a pity and a godsend. Now, you can hear televisions’s blaring in town, versus transistor radios playing mariachi and banda music. Children now beg for Nintendo games for Christmas instead of a basketball.

In the rainy season, the hike to the waterfall is well worth it. Because the tiny roads in Yelapa have no rhyme or reason, you are best to hire a child guide to bring you for a few pesos. You can also hire a horse to bring you, but hiking is best, as some of the horses are a bit decrepit, to say the least. If you are in Yelapa during the winter months, skip the waterfall, as it is a trickle, and spend the day eating, drinking and playing on the beach. One of my favorite things to do is to munch on any of the numerous pies the ladies sell on the beach. My absolute favorite is queso pie, a creamy cheese custard pie, with a wonderful crust. If you love coconut, be sure to try the coconut pie as well. As you eat, some vendors may come and sell their wares, or show you places for rent for the night. Nothing like shopping from a beach chair! For the more adventurous, para-sailing is also available.

Getting out of Yelapa is the same as getting there. Make sure you know when and where the water taxis will pick you up. Typically, the last water taxi is at 5:00pm, so keep an eye on the time or you may find yourself spending the night in one of the hotels or rental bungalows.

If you are like me, you know how important a vacation is, and hopefully it won't break the bank. Mentally and physically I need to go to Puerto Vallarta at least 3 times a year. My problem is I am not a trust fund baby, so I need to travel budget.

Granted, I would love a week or two at the Westin or the Camino Real, but I know to do so, I would have to sell a kidney, or two! Instead, I save until I have enough to get me there and enough pesos to keep me sheltered, fed, and happy.

My travel tips are fairly simple. If it looks or sounds "gringo-ized" I stay away.

I stay in budget hotels in Old town, such as the Azteca, Villa del Mar, Ana Liz or The Bernal. All are simple hotels, clean, adequate and usually filled with savvy budget travelers, hippies or backpackers. They make great lodging companions, always willing to share tips, or split a roasted chicken with as we talk about cool places to see in Vallarta. In my last few trips, I met a couple of authors, a few musicians, countless artists, a WW2 fighter pilot and a man who claimed he was Jesus.

I found by shopping for fruits and vegetables at the local market, by listening for the "bolillo man" and by looking for the most locals at a taco stand, I could eat all day for under 50 pesos. I found the best fresh squeezed orange juice in front of Cafe de Olla for 10 pesos, and many varieties.

A first run movie is 30 pesos, with a bag of popcorn for 3 pesos. A nice way to cool off when the temps hit 90+ or the rains start. Cooling off doesn't require me to have an infinity pool, I just pack my beach bag and head to Los Muertos beach and hang at Fidenico's or The Shark for cheap drinks and "no charge" lounge chairs. Fidencio's also serves their "American" breakfast with coffee for $1.99 US. The Burro bar has a bucket of Corona's during happy hour for 35 pesos, a plate of shrimp for under 90 pesos.

I usually take the bus everywhere, for 4 pesos, or I hoof it around town and explore streets I may have missed. By doing so, I have found little 3 table restaurants and fondas or comida corridas that will serve an entire meal and refresco for 30-40 pesos. For example, a typical comida corrida meal with consist of a soup or small salad, a chicken dish with tortillas and beans and a desert, like flan and a tea or juice flavored water.

I also pack a collapsible cooler, so I can buy some ice and store a few dinks for in- house imbibing. It's also handy to take to the beach, to keep the water and sandwichs cold.

After the plane ticket is paid, I usually spend about 300 pesos a day, with lodging, all meals and an evening out with drinks. This allows me to spend 4 weeks in Vallarta, versus the one week I would have spent at a 4 star hotel. After figuring out how much time I spent in the hotel, (or didn't spend) I was much more content to go bare-bones than to go semi-luxury. Besides, who wants to watch cable T.V. when watching town is much more interesting?