Minneapolis Journals

My Way or the Skyway: Downtown Minneapolis

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An April 2002 trip to Minneapolis by Truly Malin

Downtown Skyline Photo, Minneapolis, Minnesota More Photos
Quote: Two months in downtown Minneapolis ... exile on Main Street USA, or refreshing escape from the jaded East Coast? This journal chronicles my adventures in the most sophisticated corner of the land of Uff-Da. Special Bonus: each free form entry includes one complimentary "Ole and Lena" joke!

My Way or the Skyway: Downtown Minneapolis

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Overview

Downtown Skyline Photo, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Quote:
Consultants travel. It’s a necessary evil of the job, like halitosis for dentists. Sure, some people enjoy it – and why not, if you’re assigned to Milan or Manhattan. My last project was in downtown Minneapolis, a prospect that I was admittedly dreading at first. But Minneapolis surprised me. My work schedule didn’t allow time for the "traditional" highlights, but there were plenty of smaller, quieter moments I will fondly remember. Like early morning walks down empty Nicollet Mall on my way to the office, or the surprise of a green market teeming with produce and flowers at lunch hour, or stumbling upon summer’s Wednesday night outdoor concerts in the park on my way back to my hotel. True, I s...Read More

Hilton Minneapolis

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Hotel | "Where to Hang Your Hat (Hilton MSP)"

Quote:
I love hotels. I'm one of those people who has to open every drawer, assess the view, and pass judgment on the interior decorator before I can settle in. My mother always brought me back hotel toiletries as souvenirs of her business trips when I was a kid. Perhaps that's why as an adult, the thought of staying in a hotel fills me with age-inappropriate glee. Or maybe it's just the fact that I don't have to make my bed. Either way, this ridiculous behavioral pattern of mine is shamelessly encouraged by my vocation - consultants stay in hotels for free! So unlike my colleagues who immediately settled into the Marriott because they always stay at Marriotts (and as a result, belong to the Super E...Read More

Member Rating 4 out of 5 on July 31, 2002

Hilton Minneapolis
1001 MARQUETTE AVENUE
Minneapolis, Minnesota 55403
(612) 376-1000

Keys Cafe & Bakery

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Restaurant | "Keys Cafe"

Keys Cafe & Bakery Photo, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Quote:
Bon Appetit magazine claims that Keys serves one of eight best breakfasts in the United States and I believe it. Everything is made fresh from scratch. Keys remains family-run despite having grown from one little shop in St. Paul to nine, and in fact brunch there feels a bit like a family affair, with the wait staff teasing and tormenting each other while they serve up heaping plates of home cooking. You will have to wait on line for brunch, but the line moves quickly thanks to the "wham bam thank you ma’am" style service. Be sure to order their famous cinnamon roll, an enormous puffy monstrosity glazed with sugar and served with a pouf of creamed butter on the plate. Don’t try to eat one alo...Read More

Member Rating 4 out of 5 on July 31, 2002

Keys Cafe & Bakery
1007 Nicollet Avenue
Minneapolis, Minnesota 55403
(612) 339-6399

Jerusalem’s Restaurant

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Restaurant | "Jerusalem’s (don't miss the belly dancer!)"

Jerusalem’s Restaurant Photo, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Quote:
Ever seen a native Minnesotan belly dancer? No? Lucky you - I’m still trying to get the imprint off my retinas. Even more frightening was the number of groupies she had: single men alone at tables for two, tapping along to the music and nursing their beers and kebabs for all they were worth. One went so far as to wait out the hour between her two sets so he could see her dance twice. When she made her second entrance, I understood why ... the 7pm show featured a kid-friendly, PG-rated full length sequined dress, but for the 9pm show, she slipped into something more comfortable (and traditional!) that showed off a lot more skin. My favorite moment on the little stage, however, took place between sets...Read More

Member Rating 3 out of 5 on July 31, 2002

Jerusalem’s Restaurant
1518 Nicollet Avenue South
Minneapolis, Minnesota 55403
(612) 871-8883

Where in the World is Truly Malin?

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Story/Tip

Larger than Life Mall of America Photo, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Quote:
One day, Ole decided to take Lena for a drive in his new car. As they were driving through town, a policeman pulled them over and told Ole that he was doing 50 mph in a 30 mph zone. "Oh, no", Ole protested, "I vas only doing thirty, Officer." "No, you were doing fifty", replied the cop. "Really, Officer, I vas only doing thirty", Ole replied stubbornly. "Well", sniffed the cop, "I clocked you doing fifty!" At that point, Lena, sitting in the back seat and trying to be helpful, spoke up. "Officer...you really shouldn't argue vit Ole ven he's been drinking." New Yorkers have a bad habit of never venturing west of New Jersey unl...Read More
Summer Green Market Photo, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Quote:
When Sven accidentally dropped 50 cents in the outhouse, he immediately threw in his watch and billfold. He explained, "I'm not going down dere yust for 50 cents." Lets get one thing straight: Minnesotans have a sense of humor about their heritage, but they are also fiercely proud of their native sons and daughters. I’ve learned more about local success stories like Marshall Fields, Target, and Caribou Coffee than I ever wanted or needed to know. The whole Mary Tyler Moore thing, however, is a red herring (Uff-da ... I think I just made a Norwegian joke!) She Can Still Turn the World On With Her Smile There is no question that Minnesotans are still wild about Mary...Read More

Minneapolis on 5,000 calories a day

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Story/Tip

Quote:
Ole’s son came home from school one day, very upset. "How come I haff the biggest feet in the 3rd grade?" he asked. "Is it becoss I’m Norvegian?" "No, son" Ole replied. "It’s becoss you’re nineteen." "So, what’s the local specialty?" we asked our hosts, hoping to uncover some unique and wholesome grain belt dish to sample. They claimed not to have one, but that was just Minnesotan good manners speaking. Over time, this pushy New Yorker got them to admit to a few. 'Admit' being the operative word, because frankly, I might have been better off not knowing. One night over drinks we learned that walleye is a popular local fish that is most often served as fried "Walleye Fingers...Read More

Where to Eat - Or Not to Eat – Lunch

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Story/Tip

Quote:
Ole and Lena got married. On their honeymoon trip they were nearing Minneapolis when Ole put his hand on Lena's knee. Giggling, Lena said, "Ole, you can go farther if you vant to." So Ole drove to Duluth. I’m pretty good about bringing a bag lunch to work when I’m home, but when I’m on the road, it just isn’t possible. So lunch in downtown Minneapolis became my own personal nightmare - particularly in the summertime, when office buildings empty out between 11am and 1pm. Everyone and their mother seemed to have plenty of time for a leisurely lunch outside. That is, everyone but me. In two months of looking, I only found one place where I could get a really good sit-down lunch ...Read More

Still Hungry? More Food!

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Story/Tip

8th Street Grill Photo, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Quote:
Ole, Sven, and Lars came into the bar. They were high-fiving each other, shouting, and generally having a celebration of some sort. "Line 'em up," Ole shouted as the party continued. They drank and carried on for hours. Finally the bartender’s curiosity got the better of him. "Just what are you celebrating?" he asked. "51 days! We did it in 51 days!" they responded. "What did you do in 51 days?" he probed. "Put the puzzle together," they replied, "51 days and the box said 3-5 years!" Dunn Bros. Coffee Shop and Scandinavian Bakery Nicollet Mall I passed by Dunn Bros. a few times on my morning walk to work, intrigued by the sign outside readi...Read More