Adventure Forum

Have you ever not got on with someone on a tour?


Posted by actonsteve on March 10, 2009

I'm pretty amiable and get along with anyone but a couple of times have been put on tours with people who arent quite my bag. To countermand this I have also been put on tours with very nice people who I have kept in contact with over the years. Swings and roundabouts.

But have you had bad experiences with people on small tours. I'll start

- Chiang Mai, Thailand

Back in 1998 I went up to Chiang Mai and signed up for the trekking. I was put in a group of four travelling Scottish lads who were very close nit. They were from the north of Scotland and had that anti-English bent that some have. They were also Scottish nationalists and while often alot of the banter there was always an edge to it. Three days trekking in steaming jungles with lads who thought the English were devils wasnt the most fun of outings.

- The Pantanal, Brazil

I loved the Pantanal. It ranks as one of my favourfite places but staying at my lodge was a South African redneck called Clive. He was a Boer and didnt like the English much. I saw his face drop when he heard my accent. And I heard him complaining to others about the English. He also blanked me at every opportunity. I tried my best iwth him but didnt really see him much on the activities so he was bearable.

Reading back through the above seems to reflect my nationality? Has this ever happened to you? Or have you been put with someone on a tour you really do not click with?

  • 10 Replies

Reply by koshkha on March 10, 2009

I'm ashamed to say that the reason why I now avoid group tours is because I almost always end up hating someone in the group. My husband says it's usually a case of 'Clash of the Alpha Females' but I've loathed men I've met on tours as well. I'm an 'equal-opportunity' holiday-companion loather.

In general I'm very tolerant and I put up with a lot of weird disfunctional oddballs at work but my holidays are very precious and they bring out the worst in me.

The guy who got drunk and burst in on me in my hotel room in the middle of the night and then told his wife he remembered 'nothing' the next morning.

The couple who lost their flight tickets in Galapagos and tried to blame the boat captain and said he must have some scam going on and had 'stolen' their tickets.

The old American guy who didn't change his clothes for THREE weeks in India and was so mean that he and his lovely wife got sick because they were still eating food he'd taken from the hotel buffet three days later.

The nasty cliquey gang of single girls on a hiking holiday in Italy who ruined the peace and quiet of every mountain with their incessant shrieking and giggling.

and the ones I nearly came to blows with.....the young couple on a truck tour of South Africa and Mozambique who were late to everything, never did any washing up or camp chores and kept us waiting so long that we missed out on a couple of stops because we were so late leaving one campsite. Then on the final night, the other six of us went on a game drive and when we returned they were getting drunk with the leader of another tour group and swearing loudly and obnoxiously in the middle of a campsite full of 'nice respectable family campers'. After about 45 minutes seething in my tent I stuck my head out of the tent and told the guy with them to 'F*** off back to his tour group and leave us in peace'. The Swedish people in the group all came up and hugged me the next day and said thank you.


Reply by artsnletters on March 10, 2009

This is just one of the many reasons NOT to take a tour. You are stuck with whoever's on the tour - it can be great, but it can also be awful if you draw an unpleasant individual (or worse, more than one). It's hard enough to travel with people you do like, let alone those you don't.


Reply by MilwVon on March 10, 2009

I often travel alone and sometimes do take planned tours with a group. Ordinarily, not much of an issue, as I can pretty much ignore most borish behavior. During my recent trip to Churchill for the polar bear adventure, however, there was a couple who was consistently late even though our guide said "We will leave promptly at such a such a time". The group was small, so it was always easy to know who was holding up the works.

Add to it, the wife of this young couple (probably late 20's/early 30's) did a lot of fussing about how cold she was . . . sniffle . . . sniffle. She never seemed to have enough layers on, didn't zip up her coat, and had her mittons off more than they were on. HELLLOOOOOO - you're on a winter tundra tour! It is going to be cold.

Thankfully it was only five days there with her, because had it been a day longer, they may have found another food option beyond ring seals for the bears.


Reply by phileasfogg on March 11, 2009

Gosh, you people do have some horror stories to share! I have to admit I've never taken a long tour - the longest I've been on were day trips, one to Jericho and The Dead Sea, the other to Ayutthaya. In both cases I was with other people - in Israel, with my parents, and in Thailand with my husband, so other than a few civilities didn't chatter much with the others around... and anyway, how much can you chatter on a day trip where there's lots to see?



Reply by barbara on March 11, 2009

I can't add a bad experience to this thread, but I wanted to say, I like the English, Steve. So there you go. At least, I like the English in general. :)


Reply by actonsteve on March 11, 2009

Thank you Barbara. I hope everyone is treating you well down in the South West.

The topic was really about have you been on a tour where you havent got on with someone else on the tour. It was my bad luck that on those occasions I was put with examples of people who harboured grudges against nationalities.

But there are wonderful Scottish and South African people out there who make up 99.9% of the population.


Reply by barbara on March 12, 2009

Well, I do remember I lost my patience a bit once with an elderly lady on a tour who was in perpetual "find a bathroom" mode. But then I don't count that as being over the top horrible because even though it slowed the tour group with which I was travelling considerably... she really couldn't help it. I think that makes a big difference in how I react to others. I think to myself, is someone just being selfish? Holding up everyone else because... well... they can? Or is someone just a less seasoned traveller, an ill traveller, an older traveller who---unfortunately---can change a group dynamic in a negative way, slow things up to an annoying degree, but who doesn't mean to do so. Then I think a good tour guide can come into play... can help move things in the proper direction by recognising different needs in his group and being creative in meeting them.

But yeah. If you travel in a group of strangers, it's always a bit of a gamble. That's why I prefer to travel singly for the bulk of any trip, but I take small tours during the day that I can leave after... say... I've viewed that soaring cathedral. In fact, it's normally the GUIDE I don't like. If you get a great story teller showing you around a city, that's awesome. But if you get a dry guy who makes things feel like a bad school lecture.... THAT'S horrible.

Reply by niceness8000 on January 17, 2010

Independent tours are better for you if you don't really want to deal with crowds of people. you just have to do a little research before you take your trip.

Reply by joepierce1988 on December 25, 2010

The guy who got drunk and burst in on me in my hotel room in the middle of the night and then told his wife he remembered 'nothing' the next morning.

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