Happiest days of my life? What do you take me for? Why on earth would anyone want to get back into school uniform and dance all night to cheesy pants music?
I don't know, but it was great.
On Saturday nights, the streets of Hammersmith are clogged with large school kids, willingly dressed in a uniform of black trousers (boys), absurdly short school skirts (girls), white shirts and ties. We joined the queue and bought beer in plastics. A coach turned up and disgorged a crowd - "They're a real school," muttered someone ahead of us. More of the same tumbled from limos and minibuses. A netball team with hairy legs strolled past, and a group in their 40s.
We arrived at 9pm, and were in shortly before ten - we'd have been in quicker if we'd got advance tickets.
Walking into Po Na Na is rather like wandering into an Arabian Nights story, so the overgrown schoolkids running around made it faintly surreal. It's one of the better clubs I've been to - none of the post-apocolyptic gothic -it's got palm trees and drapes and quiet boothes. Drinks were no more expensive than usual club prices - expect to pay £3.50 for a can of Bud. Most people get started before they arrive.
What I really liked was the atmosphere. People turned up happy and expected to have a good time.
School Disco has a reputation for being a meat market - the element of fantasy and all those stocking tops gets people going. Our boy brought a pen along and we competed to see who could get the most phone numbers written on his shirt. There were extra points for chat-ups and snogs.
Dress tips
The dress code requires a bit a thought (especially if it's a while since you went to school), but it's all part of the fun, and there are some very loose (I use loose in two ways here) versions of school uniform around. A distinctive interpretation (pinafore dress instead of skirt, school cap, different coloured shirt, lacy stockings, a Scout or guide uniform) attracts attention, which you may or may not want.
Gentlemen, it gets pretty hot and sticky as the evening wears on, so why not give us all a treat and wear shorts?
As it gets later, the club fills with identically dressed people. I looked up at one point and realised I had no idea where the others were. Luckily I was wearing a pinafore dress and a blue shirt, so they found me again quickly. After that, we agreed a meeting place. Another idea might be to to put something distinctive in your hair (we wore matching ribbons).
For more information, go to www.Schooldisco.com
Getting away at the end of the evening
Visit www.transportforlondon.gov.uk to find out about Night Buses and registered minicabs (this shouldn't be too expensive if there's a good crowd of you going).