The perennial haunts of visiting and local businessmen out for a night on the town, the only two table dance clubs that are worth visiting are Solid Gold (5207-3480, 3481) and The Men's Club (5533-2224,x.102,103). This last one is affiliated with the famous Men's Clubs of Dallas, Charlotte, Reno, etc. and was voted Best Gentlemen's Club by the Gentlemen's Club Guide. In both, the girls are a mixture of Mexican, American, Canadian, and Eastern European. There are, of course, many raunchier places, but we're not going to recommend them.

Lotus Bar is ultra hip, ultra expensive, and for the ultra retarded. Well, that might be a bit harsh. Lotus Bar revels in the fact that it's for the rich and the famous. Consequently, the door policy can get complicated if you don't wear the right labels or carry the female equivalent on your arm. Still, if mulling with the beautiful crowd tickles your fancy, then this is the spot to find them. Be prepared to spend a lot on drinks and entrance. Masaryk 407, Polanco. Tel: 5280-7293/1217

Dorcia: After the success of the perennial after-hours club Rioma in La Condesa, which has gone down in club folklore as the place to find foreign strippers on their time off, although the recently opened Continental in the Zona Rosa is vying for similar notoriety as well -- co-owner Andres Mendez turns his attention to the south of Mexico City and the upscale ambience of Plaza Loreto. While the La Condesa district caters for a wide-range of ages and backgrounds (and an ever growing foreign community), Loreto is a primary spot for young, rich students with a penchant for showing off -- be it their looks or their cars. Dorcia is Mendez's incarnation to teach these brats that a good time doesn't revolve around listening to pop español all night while dancing moronically to routines practiced at home or at school. It'd be interesting to see how Dorcia fares with its entourage of Imeca DJs in an area where most clubs consider Luis Miguel to be the pinnacle of cool, as opposed to some ‘80s throwback who’s going bald. Plaza Loreto L-5, San Angel. Cover:100 pesos.

Galaxie: There are very few clubs within the Roma/Condesa belt, partly because residents would simply not allow it. However, along the fringes of the area, you can find a thriving nocturnal speakeasy. The Galaxie has built its reputation on an electro ‘80s soundclash. Divided into three rooms, the design of the place is somewhat annoying and the dance area has a very soulless vibe to it. But despite these drawbacks, this nightclub is one of the few places in Mexico City where you can truly hear an eclectic range of music. . . be it strictly between 1980-1989! Av. Jalisco 145, edifico Ermita, Tacubaya. Tel: 5515-2414. Thursday to Saturday from 22.00 - 3.00. Cover: 50 pesos.

If you're looking for a truly funky experience, then Tandem Nights (04455 1130 9431) is a weekly party on Friday nights, mixing live musicians with DJs, and offers a soulful respite from the dirge of techno and progressive house music that seem to plague most of Mexico City's clubs. The pub surroundings offer a friendly, unpretentious atmosphere with the onus on projecting a house party vibe set to the sweet sounds of jazz, rare-groove, and the best in R&B. For more information, email Tandemnights02@yahoo.com or swing by to The Tandem Pub, Rio Nazas 73 corner with Rio Tigris in Colonia Cuauhtemoc.

Tucked away in the Centro Historico, La Perla, a cabaret bar, is definitely for our more adventurous night-dwellers. Small, hot, and decorated in gaudy colors, be prepared to step into a David Lynch speakeasy. La Perla boasts some outrageous female-impersonator acts along with a passion for the kitsch and the downright weird. The music can jump from salsa to Madonna to hard surf punk within minutes. Beer is served up in two-liter bottles and the staff look like they might strike you down or equally give you a kiss depending on how they feel that night. If you get your kicks from strange places, then La Perla is definitely worth a visit. Cuba 44, Centro Historico. Open Friday and Saturday nights from 9pm.

If the alternative rock scene waxes your lyric, then the Bulldog www.bulldogcafe.com has been championing the cause for several years now. Set in a huge club with three floors that look down onto the main dance floor, there's plenty of room to "mosh" if one so chooses. Although the music is quite grungy, the crowd is anything but; that's because the door entry is 250 pesos (or $25). The reason for such an exorbitant cover charge? An all-night free bar. Be prepared for a young crowd whose sole intention is to get drunk, make out, and dance the night away. It can be fun if you choose to go in a big group with similar intentions. Rubens 6, Mixcoac. Tel: 5611 8818.

Colmillo (5553-0260, 5592-6164, 6114) was set up by expatriate Brits in a nifty house in the Reforma Centro area of town. Downstairs, there's house music and DJs are often invited. Upstairs, they often have live jazz.

You can also check out the Avant Garde (5095-3996/97) in the Condesa if you're up for some hard-core partying in a minimalist setting and with some great DJs, both local and foreign.

Another option is Rioma, a very chic nightclub/lounge located right on Insurgentes Sur in the Condesa. Beware: they're very picky at the door.

For something a little out of the ordinary, try the Pervert Lounge (5510-4454) in the Historical Center where you're guaranteed some of the best cutting-edge techno music around.

Further uptown, in the new shopping center in the heart of Bosques de las Lomas, there's Ibiza (5245-1050), while on Masaryk there's the VIP (5281-1235,2502,4461) -- both are for the wealthier, more stuck-up set.

Now if you want to have a night out dancing to Caribbean music, then a must for all salsa-lovers is Bar León (5510-3093), a very old and well-renowned bar situated by the Zocalo, right behind the cathedral.

Another very popular place is Mama Rumba, with live Cuban and local bands playing on weekends. The atmosphere is very festive and fun without being seedy. There are two Mama Rumbas, one in San Angel (5550-8099) and another in Colonia Roma (5564-6920).

This is just a run down of the night life scene. Generally there are some places I will never go. Specifically, the snootier places with strict dress codes that cost 30 usd for guys and are free for girls with an open bar. I'm gay, so what's the point. There are lots of places to go around town that are cheaper and more fun. For the gay scene as well as the stripper bars, go to Metro Insurgentes, very cruisy, and go north to Zona Rosa or south down Insurgentes and guys will be falling over each other begging you to come to their respective clubs. The gay scene in Zona Rosa is very young, richer, typical gay disco-ee, but it's so much more fun to just go to one of the many cantinas around that sell the buckets, cubetazas, of beer (often 6 or 7 us dollars for 6 beers) and see what happens. I reccommend the Bull Pen. Very crowded, mixed, wild, and fun. It is down Insurgentes on Medallin (veer left at CANADA building). I will write more in detail on all of these and much more.