These performers sure know how to cheer up a down soldier. For the first performance we caught one of our very own team members in an unlikely makeover attempt. In a hilarious gesture to get sent home for insanity, he reminded me of Klinger on M*A*S*H. This guy bought the customary outfit at the local PX and wore it in the vicinity, hoping the Military Police would take him into custody. He figured they'd send him back to the States for questioning. Luckily, we foiled his fraudulent enemy impersonation and took him into custody ourselves. We kept him under close supervision for another grueling month. After several sessions of counseling we decided to send him home anyhow. Five months out here is enough for anyone.
Performance #2 is a bunch of Infantry soldiers just over the Iraqi border only days after the ground war started. Due to the stress of battle, their minds switched into a self-defense mode and played a trick on them. They all thought they were in Hawaii hanging ten on the big island, and very happy to see more local "howlies" with them on the beach.
Performance #3 was a solo. During a bad sandstorm this soldier (vacationer) was trying to get from one zone of fresh air to another while holding his breath in the process. Our "Star Search" cameras stopped him and low and behold, he's got an entry for one of the better human blow fish impersonations I've ever seen. Either that, or he's playing the "air tuba". A great performance regardless which way you slice it.
Performace #4 is a local favorite, no pun intended (yeah right!). This young man went all out for his one shot at fame. Not only did he lift his apparently broken leg high into the air while balancing on one crutch and the other leg, he slammed it back down on the pavement to scurry closer to us as we slowly drove by. That had to hurt! We thought he was going to run over and club us the way he brandished his left crutch. Watch out buddy, you could put an eye out with that thing! Enjoy!