Sioux
Liam's rule of travel #7: Never eat at restaurants overlooking tourist centres. They are generally more expensive, and the food more so-so than somewhere local a couple of backstreets away. While this dictum has occasionally been proved wrong, Sioux could be its poster-boy.
Sioux has an adventurous "Wild West" theme. While this might be more pronounced inside the restaurant, out on the Square it merely advertises itself by the waiters in Wranglers and neckerchiefs, the waitresses in fringed suede skirts, and the fact that whatever you order it comes topped with a pastry starfish...which I think was meant to represent a Sheriff's badge).
My first complaint was maybe due to my appalling Polish, but I expected the fillet sandwich to involve a nice bit of steak for the price, and two slices of bread at the very least. No. I got a piece of chicken that looked like it had been run over by a dustcart; a "mixed salad" of cabbage, carrot, and beetroot; and the aforementioned rusty sheriff's badge. It was not, under any possible translations, a sandwich.
Second complaint: the service. The harried looking waiter actually managed to forget one of our meals. Three of us got our food reasonably promptly. The other sat there. And sat there. It was only when we stopped the waiter taking away the sauces that he remembered.
The view of the square was great, but for the price we expected something special, not something third-rate. Don't eat here. Go to the stalls in the square and get a kielbasa roll. They're much tastier, and cheaper too.
From journal The Stags of Krakow