On our last night in Venice, Tom and I decide to splurge on dinner at a restaurant overlooking the canal. Based on our previous experiences in Italy, we figured it would be hard to pick a truly poor restaurant. Wrong!!!
We choose it because the maitre d’ is very friendly and, as we look into the dining room, it seems pleasant with candles on the tables and uniformed waiters. We check the menu, and while the prices are high, they are not totally out of sight and the location is such that we expect to pay more for our food.
We are right about the view; it is fantastic, but everything else is, at best, pedestrian. I’m not an expert in Italian wines, so we order an expensive Chianti. When I taste it, I think, well, it’s a little acidic, but it just needs to breathe a little. Unfortunately, breathing doesn’t help. The wine never mellows. Our surly waiter keeps hovering as we try to enjoy our overpriced wine and decide whether to stay or leave. We decide to stay, and with much sighing, he takes our order and keeps asking us if we want to order an antipasto as we keep saying no.
We never see the waiter again until he delivers the bill. Another server brings our food, and when I start to eat, I realize why the original waiter disappeared. The food is horrible: fatty veal, frozen vegetables that have had all the life cooked out of them, and oily roasted potatoes that look and taste as if they had been waiting all day for us to arrive.
The evening’s denouement comes when our original waiter, on only his second appearance, delivers the check and announces that he wants to be sure we understand that the service charge is not a tip. It is the only time that we see him attempt a smile. Tom and I have problems swallowing our laughter. After I pay the bill and get my change, I deliver an old insult remembered from my days as a traveling executive by leaving him a few small coins, maybe 10 cents, and insuring he sees me doing it.
On our way out, the maitre d’ asks most solicitously and seriously if we enjoyed our meal. We finally break out laughing and tell him it was not only the worst meal we have had in Italy, but that it may be the worst meal we’ll have in Europe. Turns out that we are right!
Do not go to this restaurant.