I lived across from The Wiener Circle for a year and never got tired of going there. It looks like a shack from the outside, and there are no surprises inside. The burgers are better than normal fast food and the fries are good. The real reason to go there is for the laughs. Try going to the circle after hours, after midnight. It is a place like Dick's, where they make fun of you, especially if you are of a Caucasian background. It is no place for kids or the faint of heart, but you will definitely get a laugh. Words of wisdom: avoid the cheese sauce at all costs.

You haven't had a Chicago-style hot dog until you have eaten at The Wiener's Circle (after midnight). This place is one of "character." Open later than most are up, one might say their motif is "Post-Modern Gross." Some have even described the atmosphere of the eatery as "a delightful blend of grease and drunk bum."

"Spirited conversations" abound, either between patrons (usually somewhat spirited themselves) or between random homeless people. (Don't worry... they're cool.) Also, if you look like you don't belong, you don't know what you want, or you order it the wrong way... or, well... almost anything else, you will get yelled at by the staff.

Do the delightful diners stay restrained in the face of such creative employee feedback? Of course not. This place is famous for people yelling and swearing at each other before they take part in the monstrosity that is cheese fries.

So, as a service to those who might be from out of town, or just those not accustomed to such service, I have prepared the Official IgoUgo Wiener's Circle Cheat Sheet (known on the street as OIWCCS).

Instructions: Print out. Fill in blanks. Go to establishment.

Here are two possible conversations (before OIWCCS and after--for comparison).

BEFORE:
Wiener's Circle Staff: Yeah? (waits half a second) Well, what do you want?

Out-of-town guest without OIWCCS: I would like to order one Chicago-style beef hot dog, please. I hear you are famous for your cheese fries. Are they Atkins-friendly? Can I get lite cheese and a Fresca to drink?

Wiener's Circle Staff: Just leave.
Wiener's Circle Staff 2: MAN, GET THE ____ OUT BEFORE I FEED YOU TO THE HOMELESS GUY.

See, that could have been unpleasant. Now, with the OIWCCS, you might actually get food. Watch.

AFTER:
Wiener's Circle Staff: Yeah? (waits half a second) Well, what do you want?
Out-of-town Guest WITH OIWCCS: Give me a dog with everything, fries--smothered, and a coke... now.
Wiener's Circle Staff: You ordering me around?!?
Out-of-town Guest WITH OIWCCS: ____ YEAH, I AM, YOU ___in' ____ of a ____ ______, AND IF YOU WAIT ANY LONGER, I'LL COME BACK THERE MYSELF!

See how easy that is? Soon you will be enjoying your hot, tasty, delectable food in true Chicago fashion.

Don't worry... everyone does it!

The Chicago hot dog: two juicy dill pickles, three ripe slices of tomato, plenty of raw onions and neon green relish slathered on a charred red hot frank, all stuffed into a poppyseed bun. The Wiener's Circle: the best place to sample what may sound like an anomaly, but is really just a very luxurious hot dog. The cold lemonade and cheese fries are great to go with your meal (yes, please leave your calorie counter at home), and if the counter staff is rude to you -- hey, it's a hot dog stand, and they do mean it affectionately. Or at least, why dampen a sunny hot diggity dog day?