Once you reach the top of the stairs, you find the famous Elephante Caves. If you get a guide like we did, he explains the carvings to you. Outside the cave there are beautiful trees and monkeys, wild monkeys. Don't get to close too them, or else they will growl at you.

At the end of the day, you are tired and dusty, but you get on a ferry to go back to the mainland and relax. If you pay 10 rupees, you get to ride to the top and take pictures of the sunset as you sail home.

One quick warning: If someone greets you once you disembark from the boat to the island and says they are with the tour, don't believe him. I was hustled out of 100 rupees per person, and there were 10 of us. He requested payment after the fact. In a word, ask how much first. To our tour guide's credit, he did gives us good advice and explained a lot more about Elephanta than we would have known on our own. It was my second week in Mumbai, so my N.R.I. ignorance was his luck.

The boat ride itself is an attraction: a gentle trip (on the calm day we went) through the harbor, past a naval base (no photos allowed), and a series of other islands, surrounded by boats ranging from small fishing craft to enormous ocean-going freighers. The boat's radio blasts Indian playback music, the sunshade dyes the light orange, and the wind from the water makes the ride much cooler. (Be warned, though, that some get seasick: we were fine, but the lady sitting opposite me, a respectable-looking woman in her forties wearing a perfectly pleated sari and elaborate gold jewelry, looked pretty miserable by the time the trip was over.)

When you reach the island, you can either walk the 50 yards down the pier to the land, or you can wait for the electric train to shuttle you instead. We walked, heading straight for the drinks stand, and bought ourselves Fantas. Thus armed, we turned to the main attraction - a long stone staircase, entirely lined with stalls selling jewelry and elephants carved in soapstone, leading to the caves. (You can hire two men to carry you up in a chair, but why?)

At the base of the staircase, a man came up urgently to me, pointing at my Fanta. "Monkey, monkey!" he said. "Orange, orange!" My response: "whaaa?" But I got my answer - a monkey, one of the orange-faced macaques, leaped onto my arm and made a grab for the bottle of soda. It probably weighed ten pounds, and when you see them up close, it turns out that monkeys have impressive teeth. But I shook it off, and we climbed the stairs (rubbing disinfectant into my clawed arm as we went) and reached the caves at the top of the hill.

The caves are mostly manmade, large rectangular rooms cut into the red rock lined with carved scenes from the Siva myths. They can be hard to parse even if you know the iconography because the statues are in many places worn away. But even so, the carvings are still beautiful. Most impressive is the 12-foot-tall triple head of Siva, in front of which every single visitor posed for a photograph. There is a beautiful Ganesh, in which the god's elephant trunk twists sideways like a python, and some splendid statues of Parvati (Siva's consort) decked in jewels and not much else.

The area around the caves is shaded by trees and has beautiful views of the harbor. It would be a perfect picnic spot if it weren't crawling with monkeys. We had learned our lesson, but some other people hadn't, and we watched several hilarious monkey vs. human, monkey vs. dog, and monkey vs. monkey tussles over picnics.

When you get to the boat dock, you'll be approached by touts trying to sell you a ticket. They're fine, as long as you're asked to pay only the face value on the ticket and you have exact change. Otherwise, go to the Gateway of India ticket booth by the parking area (on the right as you're facing out to sea).

Then a tout will show you which boat is yours and will expect 10 rupees even though you could have found the boat yourself. (As is usually the case with baksheesh in India for a small service, it's much easier just to hand over the cash and not worry about it -- it's just a few cents. Anything over 10-20 rupees though and I'd argue).

Relaxing on the boat is great. You'll be amazed to see how big Bombay harbor actually is. Indian families will usually strike up a conversation with you and often will ask to take your picture! It's not that they've mistaken you for a movie star, but that Western faces still aren't a terribly common site in India.

When you arrive in Elephanta Island, if you're approached by a "guide", make sure you ask how much he's going to charge you before agreeing to go on the tour. Even though a guide is supposedly included in the price of the boat trip, he will definitely ask you for more money at the end. Notice that only Westerners are approached by touts. Be on your guard.

The ruins themselves are incredible. The carving of the three faces of Shiva is remarkably well-preserved. The Shiva lingam are still used in meditation and you'll see flowers there from a recent puja (a ritual in honour of the gods). The water tank still holds water after hundreds of years.

Go up to the highest peak by taking the dirt trail around the back of the caves. There you'll see a cannon left by the British and a great view of the bay.

Be sure not to miss the last boat back!